The week passed without advancement... AGAIN?!?!?

Just a little FYI... this is totally a VENT post. A little glimpse as to why I've been on the edge of my seat and antsy... I'm trying REALLY HARD to relax. But I guess it's much harder than I anticipated!

Here are some of the reasons I'm less than patient for her to COME HOME!!!

- Our daughter is going to turn 2 years old in 3 weeks. On Tuesday it will mark 16 weeks in the ministry of interior... on July 8th it will mark 2 years since we have started her adoption... 8 months post IBESR :-( and about 5 months that she is LEGALLY OURS!!!!!

On her first birthday I was so hurt that I would not be with her on her birthday, but I also knew that she would not be home. I had thought about going to Haiti to spend her birthday with her, but opted to stay here with the thought that it would be her only birthday away from home. It hurts to know we are so close, yet so far from the possibility of having her here before she turns 2.

Then there's the fact that I checked the Canadian flights coming back from Haiti (which are only once a week) and they are at MAX price... or not available at all for the next few weeks, making my one day in and out nearly impossible. Which means that I will have to stay in Haiti at least a few days to get her a travel visa to go through the US on our way home.

Not only does it SUCK royally that she may not be home before her birthday, but it would also mean that I would have to pay for her plane ticket home instead of sitting on my lap for "free". (which of course I only budgeted for 1 ticket and not 2)

-Which brings then me to the money situation.

Because of the delays of this adoption and REALLY THINKING (as well as everyone else) she would be home close to Christmas time or shortly thereafter, I had decided to close my daycare spend some one on one with Ty, work at healing him and stay home with both kids for 6-9 months on our little nest egg. WELL... the money is only going to last for so long... I figure until the end of the summer and the longer it takes for her to get here, the less time I will have with her while I am able to be off.

- Then you have the added "fairness" issue I have. There have been a few families that HAVE their kids home, or, are just about to go get them and their file was submitted after mine!!! (It must be the Libra in me..lol) So when I see or hear that it makes my blood boil because I want soooo bad for it to be US... I do want to add no one should be "stuck" either, all these kids should have been home month ago... but c'mon what about signing in ORDER PEOPLE!!!

-at this point, out of 200-300 files STUCK our has been in the longest and of course, fear is setting in and I'm starting to really wonder if there is a problem?!? Which of course could cause months and months of delays. (I'm trying not to go there!. re: my bad dream post)

-Then you have the fact that I can't plan ANYTHING because she has been on the side of coming home for so long. Even our summer vacation time is up in the air!!! If she is just getting home we are not going back home because we want her to be "adjusted" before we travel, but if she is not here by then I don't want to sit here and wait just in case.

-Then there is the fact that my dear son has no understanding of what in the world is going on and is confused about his little sister. He has asked me so many times "WHEN" and I keep saying soon... He is starting to think we are full of it!

Every time I go past her room it kills me inside... it really does... because dang it, she should of been home months ago... and I feel like this is OUR TIME with her. Our time being robbed from us at the mercy of some jerks at Haitian immigration trying to use their power.

I feel powerless, I feel like this will never end. I feel as though there is nothing I can do, but wait... and lord knows I don't have a clue on how to do that gracefully!!!

So you see, my friends and family please have patience and compassion while I am trying to have a good day... if I'm a little snappy or am less than myself right now please have patience with me. I promise it's nothing personal except frustration about this wait... and someday I will be back to my pre-waiting self and will be "normal" again! (I HOPE!!!;-)

THANK YOU ALL for your support, you will never know how much your kind words, letting me vent, complain, cry, scream, has helped. I know you are all rooting for us and someday... she will be home and we can all celebrate the miracle that it will be!

Love ya's
Sue