Happy Halloween

What a day, I'm still not feeling 100%. I have managed to push myself through the day and have "pretended" to ignore being nauseated until it hit hard this afternoon.

This morning I went for a haircut & brow wax, brought Ty to nursery school, then picked him up went and had a sub for lunch with him then went to the grocery store. Ty fell asleep in the van on the way home (THANK GOODNESS!!!) When I took him out I was hoping he would sleep a little longer and he did. I put my groceries away super fast and clunked out in bed trying to get the fluish feeling to go away. I woke up close to 4 from my deep sleep and was contemplating bringing him trick or treating, I was feeling worst than before I went to bed, I couldn't not bring him.. so I got him ready and I *thought* we were just going to do our block and then when we got to the end of the road he wanted to keep going and the fresh air sure was doing me some good. I asked him to wait because I knew my friend Stephanie was close by with her kids and a couple friends so I thought at least I would be in the company of great people while he ran house to house. It turned out to be a great night and I'm glad I decided to go.

It's been 3 years in a row Ty has worn his lion costume.. it is getting pretty tight and short.. his spider-man costume was way to thin to wear on such a cool night and it would defeat the purpose if I was to cover it in a snowsuit :-) Next year I will buy him a new one and Tamaya can be a lion..lol Grand-ma and grand-pa sure got their moneys worth out of the lion costume. I saw one of my daycare ladies tonight. I took the day off and felt like I was playing hooky. I really prefer to let them know the night before so that they can make alternate plans in advance for childcare, and not at 5am. As soon as I feel like it could get worst I usually give them the heads up. I know I would want the same respect given to me by my childcare provider. The only problem is mommy actually took the day off work because her back-up sitters were all busy. So I kind of felt bad for being out and about all day.. she did notice my fresh haircut and thought it was nice ..lol.. I really wonder what she may have been thinking. My other family called me today to tell me she is also feeling fluish.. I'm thinking something must be passing around???

While Ty was trick or treating tonight there was a haunted maze. I was unsure whether he would go in or not.. we got to the entrance and he started getting scared. I picked him up and there was a man with a scary mask standing there, he was getting nervous and I told him that he was a lion and that if he said boo.. he could scare the "monster" away.. well he yelled BOOOO and of course the man humoured him and pretended he scared him. He went all around the maze and scared all the monsters away as we trekked through the haunted place. He was really proud of his new found power of being a lion. There was some places he outright refused to go, and others he used his lion power to get his point across.. he then found the growl in himself. At one point he went to a house.. growled at the older couple and ran back.. forgetting to get candy??? My oh my. He also had a problem with going into peoples houses, and I even overheard the booger telling one of our neighbours that he wanted MORE candies then he had received " I need one for my mommy, one for my daddy and one for my sister" he told the man very matter of factly...(the funny part is, he did get more out of the deal) ;-) He tried that line out later in the evening, but that didn't work out for him... what a kid!!! These are the days being a mommy are extra special.

Ty with his treats

Ty eating a treat!!!, now I have to hide them so the sneak doesn't get tooooo much sugar. He is already a VERY active boy without the added bonus of sugary treats.

WE ARE OUT!!!!

I've got to say I am so flippen excited and I honestly never knew I could squeal...lol Our daughter is on route home. We have finally been signed out of the dreaded IBESR.. our official time in 8 months and 8 days. "usually" it take about 2-3 months after they are signed out to get home.. Home stretch now. I still don't want to have any expectations on when she will be home, but before Christmas would be nice.. I don't have to bring her clothes back either. I had this mental picture of having to bring them back and it hurt so much.. Now I get to hang them in her closet and feel confident they will fit.

Woooooooooh Hoooooooooo

I still can't believe it. I had mentally prepared that I would have to "fight" for her to get out, that I would be stuck so much longer. WOW

It's so funny because ALL day I have been feeling under the weather. I have bad gut and since after supper I'm feeling like I'm going to be sick, I've even called all my families to let them know I am taking the day off tomorrow... Now I don't know if the shakes are from excitement or the flu.. ;-)

Our power is now out... thank goodness for a laptop with a charged battery.. the only ducky (hahaha Stephanie I used your word)part is that I can't post it until I am on-line.

procrastinating AGAIN...

Hard work often pays on after time

But laziness always pays off now

* I did steal this from another blog, but as soon as I saw it I knew it was so so so so me :-)

Ty with his new jacket and buzz cut..hahaha (who has longer hair now.. Ty or Tamaya?), at least now my son's hair is shorter.

Ok well now I have to stop making excuses and get my kiester cleaning. I promised Ty we would go out and play some hockey later so he can go test out his new winter boots. Then we will come in and have some hot cocoa.

Good times...

We watched click. It was a good movie actually. I enjoyed the "bigger" meaning of the movie. I was hoping Ty would fall asleep during the movie, but instead he sat there and watched the whole thing... at least once we got home I was just able to plop him in bed and he fell fast asleep without a fuss.
I had a fun day. I didn't spend much (????) actually I didn't even buy anything for me.. what's up with dat?... wait I must of... oh, yes a carpet for our entrance.. $3.97... hahaha. I did score big time on a jacket I had been eyeing for Ty. I noticed it last year and fell in love with it. It was close to $70 and I REALLY had a hard time justifying spending so much on a spring/fall jacket. I picker it up today and it was 50% off.. Yippppeee.. now that is something I can justify :-) I will be sure to post some pics of him in it. I did finally manage to buy my big guy his winter boots, last time it snowed we were house bound because his last years pair didn't even come close to fitting.. now we are good to go.




I came home to an e-mail from a mom that recently came home from getting her son in Haiti. Her son was at the house my baby girl is and she took some pictures as well as video clips of our daughter. I was supposed to meet her at the pumpkin patch, she burned me a CD and will mail it to me this week. I'm sure I will be stalking the post office this week waiting to see it. She did send me a couple as a teaser.. lol and yes they were indeed a tease. *I'm still trying to get used to her short hair.
I gave Ty a buzz cut today. I tried getting all fancy, but he moved.. so it was a zero all the way. Luckily he is so cute with it gone.


My e-mail notification went off as I was writing... One of the ladies adopting from our Orphanage came out of IBESR.... I AM SO SO SO HAPPY FOR HER!!! Her file had been in for over a year... I couldn't imagine. She has been pretty patient throughout the whole ordeal.. not all stressed like me..lol We had talked a few times last week on the phone. She really help me come to term with my feelings and it really helped that it came from someone who understood. It couldn't of happened to a better family. (and plus, their file number wasn't higher than mine.. so I do feel it was imperative she get out!!!) I have a hard time with higher file.. ;-)


Our turn will come someday too... I'm just thinking the POA they need might be what may be hold up. I'm hoping next week will bring on some clarifications as to what's going on.

Well I should be heading to bed it's too late. I was really hoping my dear hubby would sign in to MSN or send me an e-mail.

Supposed to be running out of the house..

My girlfriend and I spend the day together. I was just supposed to run home, feed the dog, get in my jammies and head right back. Instead I am sitting here blogging.. :-) Do I have a problem * I think so.

We went to a Mexican restaurant for supper with the kids and it was such a nice dinner. Our waiter was fab and of course we praised him for being so wonderful. He sure got the message with the big with the tip we left him.. ummm.. I think it was close to 40 -45%. We called him over and made sure he knew that we were very impressed with the service he gave us and that it wasn't very often that we get that.... especially around here. We asked to speak to the owner to let him know as well. It really seemed to have made his day... I guess one of those good deeds for the day... It funny because most of the time we get shitty service we don't hesitate to complain, but when we get excellent service we sometimes forget to encourage it.. anyways I'm babbling and I should run

p.s. Steve I'm going to write you a one liner here...

Hopefully we can catch each other again tonight??? Love you babe :-)
xoxoxox

IT'S FRIDAY.. well technically Saturday.. but whatever..

This morning I brought the kids to get the oil change done on the van. 3 kids in a dealership... not exactly my idea of fun. At one point another family and their son showed up (I think they may have been in the process of buying a vehicle.) His mom went to put him in the play area and the boy was obviously shy because of my gang being there and she threatened him that he would have to go sit with his daddy. The boy screamed and hollered " I hate my daddy.. no mom" as he was having a tantrum. Ty looked at me in shock " mommy, I love my daddy, that boy doesn't like his daddy? Mom I would go sit with my daddy" well my eyes filled with tears as I was listening to my son visibly shaken by this experience. I could see so clearly how much he missed his daddy and it filled my heart with sadness. We sure do miss Steve... (Love you babe!!! 3 more weeks :-))

I had planned a trip to Toronto this weekend to attend a reunion of sort for the children that have been adopted from Haiti. My girl friend, her children and Ty and I had been planning this trip for a while now. We unfortunately had to cancel as we are in a snowfall warning overnight and all day Saturday. I am a tad disappointed because there are a few families that I was really looking forward to seeing. Last year at this time Steve and I had went and I remember bringing the picture of my then 2-3 month daughter feeling so proud and showing her off to everyone... here we are one year later. She is 16 months and we are still waiting. I hope by next year she will actually be home to come.. :-)

I guess now that I will be home I will get some much needed rest as well as finish up a few projects that I had started.

funny, but I'm not laughing

Ok.. so I had this BIG fear that when my hubby left for his tour, we would need something and he would NOT be here to "take care" of it. Soooooo I got an e-mail last week requesting a scanned copy of our power of attorney we had drawn up for our lawyer in Haiti and for us to send the original to Haiti. I contacted my agency to let them know of this request because they have all our dossier papers. They got the scan out by e-mail the same day and through a follow up call I asked her if she also sent the original to Haiti.. She was unaware she needed to do this (I think it was just miscommunication). Then realised she did NOT have an original, she had a copy and that the original were sent to Haiti in the beginning... So now I have to get "another" original and well... guess what?.. HUBBY IS NOT HERE TO PUT HIS JOHN HENRY ON THE POA... Soooooooo, I will *try* to use my POA to make a POA???? and hopefully they will accept it. As soon as Steve is home he WILL be signing a new POA again just in case they come to me once he is gone back to Afganistan and need an real original.... OH MY GOSH, CAN IT GET ANY WORST... yes it could, so I will just thank my lucky stars that it isn't.

Positive thoughts today...

I woke up feeling refreshed and ready to take on another day. I am back at a "healthy" adoption waiting place. I am strong (like my hubby said :-)) and I really can do it. I am only human I will have moments where things will get hard and I cannot suppress them. If I feel the need to scream and cry I will.. It makes everything better!!! I'm not going to go around pretending this is a easy part of my life... it is in fact one of the most difficult time I have had. As long as I can stay focused on the big picture that this stress is temporary and I will get through it I will be ok.

My hubby is the best. He wrote me a nice heartfelt e-mail and it was nice for him to acknowledge my pain. He knows this is hard and I think just having his support and him telling me it will be ok made it all ok. He is such a great hubby and father. I honestly have the best hubby for me. He makes me laugh even despite our circumstances. I know yesterday was hard for him. He is used to having a "strong" healthy wife and I was less than that :-) Thank you Steve for being you.

My house is back in order from slacking yesterday and a clean house always makes me feel like my life is in order :-) mmmm it smells fresh!!!

having a hard time understanding...

I am having a pity party; you are all invited to join in self loathing with me...lol
Where: Here at home
When: Right now
Who: Just me myself and I

OK so on a not so funny note and I am having a hard adoption waiting day. I am sick and tired and mentally done with this. I am not calling Haiti again and son of a beehive she can came home when ever the hell she is ready. I am not dialing that stinken busy line again.
There is a family from our orphanage that has been signed out. They are 150 files ahead of us (I am truly happy for them, what beautiful news for them and I do indeed think everyone should be out of that mess) on the other hand it hurts so bad knowing we are not and that we have waited longer and I am having to deal with this alone.

* the above entry was written this morning, but I didn't post it because I was so upset... notice the difference between this morning and this afternoon... (never going to call again... to OK.. I called...lol)

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So now it's just about 5pm... I have called Mrs B back..lol. I told her I had called her last week and that she asked me to call her back Monday. I asked her if she had any information on my file.. she looked it up and said NO you are not signed out yet. I asked her if she had the file with her and she said that no, she was looking at a sheet with all the file she has signed out this week. I asked her if she knew if there was a problem with it and she "sounded" annoyed, and again asked me to call back next week...so I changed the conversation really fast into "thank you so much for your time.. and I will talk with you next week. ( she is the last person I want to annoy.. ;-)

I am so mentally exhausted from today.. I will be eating lots of CHOCOLAT tonight and celebrating 8 months in IBESR ..lol

My hubby even called at the right time today. He got a very big speech (sorry hon, I love you!!!) and it felt nice for him to hear my frustrations. I also at that moment in time did NOT feel alone. He was there supporting me and I know had he been home he would have been my shoulder to cry on.. but even thought I didn't get to hold him while I cried, it was nice to have his support... I miss him so much and REALLY can't wait to have ALL of my family together.

So today was a bad day.. I do feel much better knowing where I stand with my file. I feel like some anxiety about being signed out has past, I'm not sitting by the phone hitting redial and I will get through this... BREATH... just BREATH :-)

awwww my princess...

From what I heard my Tamaya was having a problem with all the people from the mission trip.. it was a little overwhelming for her. She's still the most beautiful baby girl I've ever seen :-)

A tad disappointed...

I will try not to bore you anymore with my attempt to call Haiti... their lines must be down as I am still receiving a busy signal. Be rest assured I will blog news once I finally get a hold of Mrs.B, but for now I will not be posting about it anymore :-(..lol.. just wanted everyone to know there was still no news.

Good morning...

awwwww what a beautiful Tuesday morning..lol. I woke up to my screwed up alarm again... 30 minutes early yet again. That gave me so much time to get stuff done. I emptied the dishwasher, swept and moped the floors. Riley came in at 6:15, and his mommy informed me he didn't go to sleep until midnight.. that's nice!! and Jeremy came in crying because he wanted to go home and screamed loud enough that I'm sure he woke up the neighbourhood... soooooooo, with my fake smile in hand I WILL make it through this wonderful day. :-) Ty has nursery school today and I have some running around to do while he is there so my day should pass-by fairly quickly.

My dear hubby commented in the "dodge post" requesting a new one??? It's so funny to see his nice pick-up rusting out, the heat doesn't work in it.. I think the wipers don't either. Every other year the driver door doesn't open and you have to go in by the passenger door..lol..., the muffler needs replacing and unfortunately the list goes on and on and on, I believe it is also a safety issue to have this thing on the road. So maybe once he gets home in Feb we will have to look for another... MAYBE!!!! Depends on how nice he is to me.. ;-)

There is one time I took Betsy to pick up a dishwasher (on a Sunday, NO ONE sells dishwashers on Sunday by the way ) and the ABS light came on. I called Steve from up the block to ask him what this meant and was wondering if I should go home. "ok.. umm, just let go of the break and see if it rolls" He says. "Yes it rolls Steve" I tell him still unsure of myself and if I should ride this jalopy "don't worry about it" he says to me, thinking the problems was that the breaks ceased yet again.. He said oh, no problem.. just go ahead on out. So once I got home the problem still existed. He checked it out and one of the break lines was gone/broken/not working/let go.... he was wondering how in the world I managed to break??? Sooooooo...I don't think his truck is safe, and I sure wouldn't be taking it anywhere else.

should be going to bed...

I am exhausted, probably from all the mental work I did today... redial, redial.. so tiring..lol, so ultimately the verdict for the day was the line was still busy. I assume this means the lines are down. I hope I have some good news to report tomorrow.

Today after our friend brought the truck out for a ride, I was sitting here and when he brought Steve truck back into the drive way, the dog was at the door crying... poor thing, she thought daddy was home. Funny how our furry little friends have sounds embedded in their mind. She misses you hon, and by the way, you need a new battery for the truck. Every time Steve is gone away for a while they have to have their reunion outside. The dog always pees in excitement when she sees him... He's the only one that she does that for, I'm sure that makes him sure feel special. :-)

Ty stories from these past few days;

- while in time out trying to get my attention "mom your beautiful"
- on the way into the bath naked and playing with his penis
" Ty, remember those are your private parts. If you want to play with it you have to do it in your room and while no one is watching" I tell him while he keeps going and doesn't listen to me. I give him the hairy eye balls...
"but mom, I'm playing with my GUITAR"

I sometimes wonder how I can look at him with a straight face while he is saying such silly thing... lol.. I do however laugh inside :-)

Good-night

and the line is still busy...

I have been sitting here with the phone clenched in my hand for the past 2 hours, I keep hitting redial faithfully every 10 minutes or so... just in case someone may answer. I'm thinking I may have way too much time on my hand... I wonder if there is anything I can scrub, or maybe a TV show to keep my mind occupied???

As I was writing this post our friend came to boost Steve's ol' Betsy... I even took some pics of him.. I will even post them for your viewing pleasure.. why??? to occupy my time..lol

HAHAHA!! Steve the NEW dodge is helping the ollllllld one.

Nervous wreck...lol

I have been trying to call Haiti all morning. obsessively, maybe???hahaha. I have been getting a busy signal except for once and when I asked for Mrs. B, the lady started talking creole and I had no clue what she was saying until I really paid attention and asked for Mrs. B again and got a... "moi pas Mrs. B.. moi Collette"... oopsy wrong number :-)

I will let it go until this afternoon... I figure I don't have much more quiet time with the kids the baby is now up and I want to make sure Mrs. B has my full attention when I call.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow....

Yesterday brought us a full day of snow.. I love the 1st snow falls.. they are always so nice and refreshing and so beautiful to look at... towards the 10th and all the shoveling it becomes a pain. I'm sure this one will not stay around, but I was surprised to see the amount we got. I'm thinking this year I will hire someone to come clean the driveway. I barely have time to get everything else done let alone get outside first thing in the morning to clear the driveway.... I should probably arrange something soon.

Today I get to call Haiti again... I am hopeful that it will bring on some good news. I'm still nervous and I hope this time I don't tremble like I did the last time. If she is signed out it will bring on a whole new set of anxiety. I will NEED to get her stuff in order... her room prepared and of course I would be hopeful for a Christmas reunion, but with all that being said, I don't want to be disappointed if she isn't here before Christmas. What a emotional roller-coaster this has been. It's funny how our 2 adoptions have been very different. With Ty's I was in the dark about everything. I had no idea what the process was like and was lucky to get an update every other month. He was my baby, but he was also just a picture. I was clueless when it came to the next steps. With Tamaya I know too much, have held her, spent time with her and miss her. I have known where I am every step of the way and have been very informed about the whole process... Neither make it any easier. Every adoption whether fast of short, is still very difficult and enough to drive you batty. Thank goodness Ty is home to remind me of the fact that she will eventually come home too and this waiting and patience (*my pretend patience) will all be worth it in the end.

* a conversation my mom and I had;
"so if Tamaya is ready to come home mid Jan I will wait until Steve comes home to have her escorted" I told her.
"Sue, c'mon do you really think that you could do that" she replied to me matter of fact.

I think my mom has a point there...lol. I'm thinking the day she is ready to come home, I will either be picking her up ASAP or she will be on the next plane home... The last few pictures of her really hit my soul. I love her so much and just want to finally parent her. It's nice to love her from afar, but I want to play with her, bath her, feed her, love her, spoil her, hold her.. (Jeeezzz that almost sounds like a bad 80's song, I want to love her, squeeze her.. wrap my arms around her.. * do you know the one?)

Anyways I better get on with my day.. I have a laundry problem, yet again. I stripped all the beds, but this time I had all the new bedding, old bedding + the comforters and the accumulation from the past week to catch up on... Steve oh Steve where are you my laundry man???? C'mon home so we can do sweet laundry together :-)

Good day...

Good morning my faithful blog readers...lol. Sorry I didn't have a chance to get to writing yesterday, when I finally sat down to write a message the blog site was down.

It's been quite the weekend.
Friday night I went to my girlfriends house as she was having a party! There was quite a few people. I had a 2 drinks, but I didn't get tipsy, I was kind of bored..lol and feeling out of place. So I decided to stop at 2. I got home around 2:30am after I drove everyone home. Pretty sad that I seem to always be the designated driver.. (maybe that's why I'm always invited..lol)
Saturday morning I woke up to Steve calling.. I love when he calls. It's always nice and refreshing to hear his voice. We talk for a about 10 minutes and then I started my day. I had a pleasant surprise in my e-mail. A wonderful lady from the Netherlands that I met through a Haitian adoption chat group went to Haiti and made her way up to where my baby is and she took some pictures of my princess for me. Then Marijke (she's the lady that took my princess into her home) sent me some picture of Tamaya with her birthmom and one of her sister. It was GREAT to see my baby.
Ty and I went to do some shopping a little later than usual because my head was just aching. I took a pill, rested a bit and we headed out around 4:00. We got to Wal-mart and my friend Stephanie was there with her son. We decided to have supper together at the McDonald's there which was nice. Ty was great and then we headed to Canadian Tire (daddy's favorite store) and Ty was so happy. We were going to head to the mall afterward.. I'm still trying to find him a pair of winter boots.. but it was closed. We then headed to Zellers and I found a few things I wanted. I bought some fleece sheets that I can't wait to wash and put on my bed. I bought him a velux blanket for his bed.. Then we found the perfect outfit for him.. a pair of "soldier" pants and a T. to match. When I told him I would buy them for him he picked them up and started kissing them... "muah, muah, muah.. I love them mom" he said to me... nothing like making me feel like I made a good choice to buy them eh...lol

Well I have a million things to do and got to get to them because unfortunately I am the only one here to pick up the slack.

Here are some pictures of Tamaya and Ty in his new outfit. I asked him if I could take a picture and he chose to pose like that.. lol

When we brought Steve to send him off, they were doing roll call. Ever since then Ty has been saluting and shouting "COCONUT SIR" I finally figures out what he has been saying for so long... Corporal Sir... Kids eh!

Shouldn't be blogging.. should be cleaning

I don't have much to say, but I know I am procrastinating. Let me assure you, I WILL NOT be posting pictures of the house :-) I would be ashamed if anyone was to see it this way. I don't even think hubby has ever seen it this bad..lol.
GOOD NEWS: my clock rang at the right time this morning and IS still at the right time :-) I'm hoping that it has auto-corrected itself.
I got a nice e-mail from my hubby. What a sweetheart he is (well, that's until he comes home!!! hahaha just kidding Steve!) He said "It must suck waiting for 2 loved ones".. Oh yes it sure does..lol, He did mention his tour may be extended until mid-march.. can you say; I DON'T THINK SO!!! I think he will be using the baby as an excuse to get here in Feb, even if I have to get involved!!!
I have come to the conclusion that if my daughter is ready to come home in Jan... I will wait until Steve gets home to have her escorted. I think in this case the pros outweigh the cons, but if she is ready to come home before x-mas I will be on the 1st flight to get her home.. This is all great "thinking" I'm sure when it comes down to the crunch I will scream and run and go get her/have her escorted right away...lol.
As soon as I'm signed out I will start on her room. We still need to buy her a bed.. I think that could be one of the projects Steve and I can do when he is on leave???
ok ok ok ... now that I have spend all this precious time blogging I will get to my scrubbing. If I don't get to it soon Riley the cry guy will be up and it will pointless to get anything done :-)
IT'S FRIDAY!!!!!

Just breath Sue.. just breath..lol

OH MY GOSH.. I just received an e-mail suggesting I call the new director of IBESR in Haiti... my heart started pumping faster and my palms started getting clammy almost immediately after. I looked all over for the darn number and once I finally found it I gathered my thought... wrote a few ideas down of what I wanted to talk about and picked up the phone.

* I spoke to her in French

me; Hello may I speak to Mrs. B Please.
Mrs B; It is me
me; How are you today?
her; I'm doing very well.
me; My name is Mrs. S, I want to congratulate you on your new position at IBESR
her; Oh thank you.
me; I'm calling in regards to my file. We have been in IBESR for 8 months now and I was wondering if there may be a problem.
her; May I have your file number please
me; 13057
her; your child's name
me; Chantaline M.. and our last name is S.
her; I will look into that and you can call back when I'm done.
me; When would be a good time to call you back?
her; Monday is good
me and her; Thank you so much have a nice day


Holllyyyyy mollllyyyyyyy I'm doing the sticken happy funky chicken dance. I may not be bringing my babies clothes back... Once we are signed out of that place we are on the home stretch... 2-3 months and she will be here. Please send over some good vibes/ prayers to Mrs B to have her signing pen ready to go once she reviews our file :-) Of course I will keep you all posted about the upcoming developments.

YIIIIPPPPPPEEEEE YAYEEEEEH CAYYYEEEEEEEH

With all that being said I hope she is not like the other froot loop that told us he would sign our file "next week" over 2 months ago. I can't take another disappointment like that!!!

Piss me off!!!!

Son of a beehive... My stupid stinken alarm/time was all messed up again this morning. I set my clock to the right time right before bed (because it was off by 30 min again) and then set the alarm. I woke up came to the kitchen and it was 5:15... not 5:45 like I had planned to wake up at. MAN OH MAN OH MAN!!!!

For those of you who don't know about my electronic problem, let me humour you.... It seems every time I have stress in my life my electronic end up having issues. Most of the time it's my bedroom clock that acts up (I have replaced them... and it always ends up happening with the next clock too) The problem will eventually auto-correct itself. I have been having electronic issues since I was a teen... my whole room would have issues.. t.v., stereo, phone, VCR... then a couple weeks later I had no prob and everything would be OK with them.... anyone care to speculate, or let me know what the stinken prob is????...lol.

Isn't this just too cute...

our little secret.. right?

Ok...so as you all know I have bought Tamaya her clothes. I have been worried that I may have bought the stuff too small, Size 2. So today (I really have no idea where I thought this up) I was changing the baby he is just about 14months and Tamaya is 15 months I checked his tags to see what size he was in. He is a big boy... but by the looks of it Tamaya is probably the same size... So I busted out a couple of her outfits and tried them on him...LOL :-) LOTS OF ROOM...hahahah

p.s. I think I will keep this our little secret.. I don't know how his parents may take their son being in a little skirt for a bit..lol

Before and After...lol

Ok so my life isn't so exciting, but I thought I would humor you with my life before and after kids.

I used to ride in my car with my sun roof open for the fresh air with the tunes blasted to enjoy the song. Now I ride in the family van, windows open to get rid of any poop stench and the music up loud to drown the sounds of kids in the back!

I used to wake up at 6:30 to prepare for my busy day of work that started a 9:00. I would do my hair daily, put on my make-up and get dressed up. Now my alarm is set for 5:45 snoozing at least once with barely enough time to shower. I have the "wash and go" look. I am lucky if I do my hair and make up once a week/month and my idea of getting dressed up is putting a pair of track pants and a unstained t-shirt.

Friday nights were reserved for hubby and we would have a date night.. Now Friday night consist of running the hell out of the house because I'm going crazy from being in it all week.

I used to manage a staff of 5+ adults. Now I try to manage a posey of 5+ ... At least the adults would talk behind my back. The kids they let it all out IN YOUR FACE.

My yard used to be nice and clean...lush grass. Now it looks like a kiddy toy scrap yard with bald spots everywhere from the ride on toys.

I used to be anonymous is my small town; now I am Sue, Ty's mom and daycare provider???

I used to have a home office/craft room. Now it's a playroom :-(

I had more than enough room for hubby and I in our house. Now I am wondering were I can stuff things.

My pets used to be my "babies" now I'm wondering when they are going to knock off so I can have less cleaning to do... don't get me wrong I do still love them, but honestly can't find the time I used to have to love on them and clean up after them.

When I would go shopping for clothes I went straight to the "professional section.... now I bolt for the comfy's and PJ's.

My closet was full of skirts, blouses, 2 piece suits... with one pair of tracks for the weekend... Now full of tracks, jeans and t-shirts with one dress up outfit.

I watched what my hubby put on the tube & now I watch whatever will keep my son quiet for 30 minutes... so that haven't changes much!!!

Steve and I never ate at the kitchen table.. unless we were having a "romantic" diner.... now the only time we eat away from the table is when was have basement picnics.

Awwww so fun..lol... although my life has changed quite a bit I would NEVER for one second go back to my old life. My hubby and son bring me so much joy and happiness and I wouldn't trade it for the world.. bring on the poopy butt, the extra laundry and the messy house!!!! Anything for my family.

I'm tired

I guess my week of rest and relaxation last week is now history. I am so exhausted today... I almost forgot how it was to be working.
I dropped Ty off at nursery-school and he runs in and tell his teacher " my daddy said I'm not allowed to paint or play with play dough" this is the second time I hear him saying this to his teacher... So I asked him to come over to talk to me and explained he didn't have to fib and make up a story. If he didn't want to do something he just had to tell them he didn't want to. When I went back to pick him up they were all laughing because he used his "daddy" excuse for everything he didn't want to do again...lol.. what a kid. I guess I will have to have a little talk to him again about fibbing... the funniest part is that the first time he said it she believed him, thinking the play-dough maybe got stuck on his shoe and his dad really told him he couldn't play with in anymore. I explained to her daddy wasn't home... TY TY TY

After I dropped Ty off I went to the grocery store with the baby to get the stuff for my daycare family. (I was supposed to do it last night, but I procrastinated, yet again) I bought them some paper plates and plastic utensils.. some buns a coleslaw, chips and dip. I have made them some perogies w/bacon & onions. Some sweet and sour meat balls. A meat & cheese tray. I also made some "homemade" (from the package) cookies for my big daycare girl and I will make them a shepherds pie tomorrow. Now I have about 30 minutes before the cry guy wakes up so I will go snuggle with Ty and watch some tele with him.

gosh.. I hate when that happens..lol

I went to bed early last night because I knew I would have a full day today and my first daycare kids would be here TOOOO early 5:45am.. yes folks... when you were all sleeping I was up :-)

I tossed and turned all night constantly looking at the clock thinking I would miss my early arrivals. I got up at 6:00am thinking OMG.. did I not hear them. Ran to the kitchen, only to find out it wasn't 6:00.. it was 4:00, and somehow my clock in the room was reset? I reset it to the proper time and tried to go back to sleep. I re-awoke at 5:30..... for them only to show at 6:00.. flippen fun. All that for $15 big ones..lol

Now I have the big ones sleeping, the baby came in and now he is sleeping too...lol. So now I'm going to jump in the shower. I've been up for an hour and I am so so tired. I hope the caffeine kicks in REAL soon.

this and that, again...

My weekend was good. It was nice to see my friend and catch up... it had been 2 years since the last time we got together.. mind you when we were together it didn't feel like it. She looks great all pregers and all..lol. She is due next month. I meant to take pics and it never happened...sorry :-(
Saturday we went shopping.. (oh, oh!!!) I spend tooo much money. I bought my daughter her wardrobe (well most of it), I figure if she is signed out soon and I wait until she gets here to buy her clothes the spring/summer stuff will be out, but it will still be winter.. So if by the beginning of December she is not signed out I will return the clothes and wait until the next season. I also bought myself 4 pairs of comfy pj bottoms.. yes I am an addict..lol, also bought a pair of comfy's for my girl friend and an outfit for her baby to come.

I talked to my honey already this morning and it was with a heavy heart. I told him he HAS TO COME HOME. He assures me he will, but one never does know. I have much more of a deep appreciation for my hubby and all he is to me. I can't wait until he is home safe and sound.

I talked to my daycare family today and offered my condolences. I asked her what the plans were for the next couple days so I can be of some support for them, tonight I will prepare some casserole type meals for them, some meat and cheese trays and some homemade cookies for my big daycare girl.... she always loves my homemade cookies. The extended family will be all staying at their house and I know it is greatly appreciate. My daycare mom and I had a big cry together and she told me she wishes Steve a safe return home. She talked about her nieces and their reaction of knowing their daddy isn't coming home and it's so sad. Tonight they will be going to receive his body and within the next couple days they will be having the funeral and the memorial. I will be attending both, unless they need me to care for their son. He is only 2 and I have offered my services to keep him if need be. Gosh this one is so hard....

Too close to home

It is a very sad and emotional time for me this evening. I have been informed late this afternoon that one of the soldiers that was killed Saturday is the uncle of 2 of my daycare kids. My heart goes out to his family. He has a lovely wife and 2 beautiful daughters, my heart really feels for them. I did have the pleasure of meeting Darcy when he was home on leave when I brought Ty to the movies. He was there with his family and they were all glowing because daddy was home he had arrived the night before. I welcomed him back to Canada and asked him if he was glad to be home. His response was that he was happy to be home, but wanted to be with the boys in Afghanistan to protect them. I remember thinking to myself how much of a close nit family our soldiers become when they are faced with such dangers. My heart goes out to his family. My deepest sympathy's go out to his wife and daughters and my daycare family.

Pretty boring post, sorry I had no life this week..

I managed to not do much today except for a lot of thinking. This week off had brought me into thinking quite a bit on whether or not daycare is for me. My hubby has supported any decision I chose to make in this regard and I appreciate it so much. He is honestly the best. After some HARD thinking.. I have decided to continue. I am just going to take it day by day. When I feel the need to take a day off I will. I am going to look forward to the 2.5 weeks I have booked off when Steve is home and my Christmas break. This week was fun because it was a short week.. but in all honesty I think I would be bored out of my tree if I did it for a long period of time.

Ty was great this week, the melt down were at a low, but I was stress free which enabled me to deal with situations with ease. He hasn't peed on the carpet in weeks.. Yippppeeeee!!!! and now refuses to go on the toilet in the basement, but only his old potty... hey whatever works.. right?

I'm going down to my girlfriends house in Ottawa this weekend. I'm going to stay the night, then come home early Sunday morning to be nice and rested for my week to come. She has offered to give me her little dog.. Steve??? hahah.. just kidding! I told him right before he left I needed a puppy, which was a bad joke. I barely have enough time to care for the bunch I have, but her dog is so so cute. I asked her if he was potty trained and it seems he has issues.. NO THANK YOU.

For my old high school friends; I'm going to visit Sylvie & Guy. She's having her second baby; due next month and I will be going to her house for a little get-together/shower. I'll take some pics. Sylvie is a nurse now working f-time in emerge in Ottawa.. they are doing pretty good for themselves. I have seen some pics of their house, gorgeous!!!

Have a nice weekend, wish me luck on not getting lost..lol

kids say the darnedest things

I went to pick Ty up from nursery school and his teacher says "oh, Ty really made me have a good laugh today".. I'm thinking OMG what in the world did he do? I guess he fell and hurt his bum he then proceeded to ask her if she would kiss his butt.. :-)

I got two calls from hubby today one this afternoon and one this morning. I felt like I was pretty special..lol. He told me that he wrote me a e-mail.. a big one, and then the computer crashed...lol.. ya right. I asked him what about and he said oh, just to tell you how much I appreciate your support while I'm here. Then proceeded to tell me his "long" e-mail consisted of a whole paragraph..lol.. gosh I love him. We seem to be spending WAY to much of our precious phone time discussing his caterpillar (he is now even referring to it as such) I said
"well considering I am supporting you, the least you can do is take it off while you are on leave" He says to me "well it's the only thing I have while I am here, and you need to support me"..lol.. He then said "I know!! I'll put a band-aid on it" My gosh.. maybe I'll make a deal with him that he can keep it on until the tour is over...???? I was hoping we would get a family portrait done while he was home, but there is NO WAY I'm about to look at thing on his face for the next few years..lol

Ty went to dance tonight his dance routine will be pretty cool. He will be the soldier in the dance choreography. I guess they are dedicating his song for our fallen soldier... I'm sure it will be cute, and of course very special.

I guess I still have some anonymous readers.. Boy George.. Where are you??? Are you waiting until I post a pic of you from back in the 80's.. and to think I thought you were my cool aunt hehehe.. feeling guilty yet?? .. Mel, you too family member.
If you are unable to post your comment feel free to e-mail me and I will post it for you :-)
Steve you too babe.. don't be shy to introduce yourself and tell everyone how GREAT I am...LOL.

I'm disappointed....

Well I must admit I am a tad disappointed.. I only got 4 comments from my readers and according to my site meter I have had 41 people check out my blog today... Hmmmmm???..lol
I would love to thank my readers that took a moment of their day to introduce themselves it was very much appreciate... I will blog for you guys and not the others... HAHAHA and if anyone may have felt guilty for not taking the time to post.. even considering the fact that I have provided you with a reading past time, of my life and my devotion to my "friends & family" you may redeem yourself and still post a comment..hint, hint

What a day. So much for taking it easy. I packed the kids (baby and Ty)up this morning and did some running around. I got home later than I expected and I was expecting a lady here for an interview at 1:00. I called her up and asked her to come around 1:30. She got here and Ty started acting up of course.. Riley the cry guy was "crying" himself to sleep.. it was fun. Finally I got the situation under control like a pro and we sat to chat about my daycare and her needs. (long story.. yes, I know I wasn't taking any others..lol.. I'll explain below) We talked for about 30-45 minutes then I felt the interview was over. No one was talking anymore and she just kind of stayed... until 4:00???? She just hung around... I gave her a few cues and ways of giving her the "option" to leave,... but she just stayed, and stayed..lol I asked her many times if she had any further questions.. It felt weird. I guess if I would have thought about it long enough I could have figured a way to escort her out politely, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Besides that weirdness... she was a nice lady and her son was cute and well behaved for a BABY..lol

So the reason for the interview;
My girlfriend had gave my number to a lady with 2 girl ages 2-3, I though that this would work and give the boys some playmates that could set good examples. When this lady called I automatically assumed it was her and of course said I was willing to make an exception and have a couple more as long as she was aware she needed a back-up for when Tamaya comes home. We talked for a little bit and I set a date and time to meet. I then asked her if she was going to bring her girls with her and she said"ugh?, I have a baby boy he's 8 months".. CAN YOU SAY OH SHOOT. Then she tells me she doesn't even have a job yet, but wanted to look for childcare in advance. Today I very bluntly told her that I will not hold a spot, but my intention is not to add more children. I told her to keep me informed of her work situation, as I will my situation with Tamaya and wait and see what happens.

I got to talk to my long lost friend Jody (yes, she even left a message on my blog people) It had been at least 10+ years since we last talked. It was really nice chatting with her, and having a so called reunion as such.

Well I should hit the hay.. I think I may be babbling :-) At least I did score tomorrow and Friday off.. but I still have my before school kids and they get here around 6:30... Hummm? I'm thinking afternoon snoooozzz for Suzy tomorrow

Oh ya, there is a pic of hubby CLICK HERE , it's not the best of his pics, but it is him. They actually called the picture "pull my finger", I noticed this as I was saving it to my computer.. TOO FUNNY It's the 3rd from the bottom.

Good night folks

Pics of the playroom

For some reason I was unable to capture the true colors of the lime green, it looks very yellow...??? The lime green around the film is more the real color.

Comment section.

I was thinking..
I don't know if you all have noticed there is a comment section below each post.. if you click it it will give you the option of leaving a comment on my blog. I would love for my readers to take a second and introduce themselves to me, as well as to my other readers.
I know I have a few addicts.. oh, I mean readers.. mom & dad, my sistah, hubby, Aunt Claire aka Auntie Sunshine, Chris, Stephanie. SO you guys have no choice but to leave a message :-)
Happy messaging folks!!!
I look forward to "meeting" you.

Another this and that post.

This morning I had the scare of my life. I didn't set the alarm for my before and after school kids (mom is usually late, or she calls me at 7 and tells me they're not coming) my plan was just to wake up once they got here...the dog started barking and it scared the heck out of me. I thought it was only 2am and as I was running to the door I was saying NO NO NO, ( I have no idea if I was thinking it or screaming it???)thinking it was someone at my door to tell me dreaded news about Steve. Once I actually woke up and realised it was just the kids my heart started beating again... It was really weird almost like I was still sleeping and sleep walking.... strange.

Once the kids were off to school I had the day off. I got Ty ready and brought him off to pre-school, went to town to get some some milk and a Timmies ( I think I have officially got my 1st caffeine headache, or lack of caffeine I should say.. a good timmies fixed that prob.. right auntie Sunshine???..hahaha) I actually went to the river and enjoyed my coffee while watching the geese and enjoying the serenity of the moment. I had a lot of deep thoughts, thinking I wish I had brought my cam to take pics to post to my blog..lol, but in all seriousness, I did think of my hubby and about our wedding day and how beautiful our ceremony was by the river. I remember so vividly how I felt like we were the only 2 people in the world at that moment. (Steve, I love you babe and miss you so much!!!)

Once I got home I fixed Ty and I some lunch and he went down for quiet time. I was talking to my mom on the phone, making a homemade soup and I was constantly (well maybe only 5 times..lol) telling Ty the next time he didn't settle down and do his quiet time nicely in my room he would have to go to his room and do it. So my mom thoughtfully reminded me that I had told him this many time and was wondering if i was actually going to do it...lol. Ummmm Oh yes. And off he went to his room and fell fast asleep. I took advantage of this time to start the painting in the playroom. I got the blue walls done and the 1st coat of the lime on the other wall was almost completed and my little man woke up. He came to investigate and asked if he could help... hummmm??? I let him take the brush.. very reluctantly, and he painted away. I asked him if I could take a picture of him helping me and he said " oh, no thank you mom, I'm busy".. as we were finished it off, he leaned on the wall and of course got paint all over himself :-) good cue to leave the room!!!
I did finish the room tonight and I think I like it. Once I have all the mess cleaned up and things put back into their place I will know for sure if I love it, and of course I will share the finished product with you all.
I've decided to take most of this week off.. tomorrow I have the baby coming because none of his back-ups were available (ummm are they really????or do they know how he is and decided to pretend to be busy..lol) and I wouldn't have any of my families be stuck... but as it stand I should have Thursday and Friday off minus the before and after school kids. I really just need time to get my stress scrubbing done..lol. In all honesty I think I may be "nesting" either that or my spring cleaning feeling came late... I dunno?

Good evening my fwends & family members.
I'm in a great mood tonight... Maybe it's because I'm off tomorrow.. YIPPPEEEE! I chose not to paint tonight and just take it easy. The room is prepped so it shouldn't take very long once I start.
I decided to spend some quality time with my boy this evening. He was surprisingly good. We watched the movie Doogle?(I rented the movie Saturday.. I think I'm going to end up having to pay some late fee's..ooops) Ty was right into the movie and there was a "scary" part where this skeleton man was the bad guy. (it sounds worst than it is, but to a little kid the bad guy is always scary)The urge was greater than me, he was right into the movie and all of a sudden I gave him a little tap as I yelled BOO. Well he jump out of his chair and gave me THE look... It took him a couple seconds to respond. I was laughing so hard it hurt. He says to me "mom you scared me, Mr.Funny bones is scary". (He calls any skeleton funny bone) It's kind of nice to be the instigator of the scare and not the one getting the poop scared out of. It's not very often I can get Steve to flinch (not from lack of trying) except when he's backing up the van.. He will be in deep concentration and I will yell BANG, and it makes him jump every time. I think he may have even gave me a punch on the leg once because of it. If Steve gets taken by surprise he always brings up the fists..lol. (in his deffence he is NOT an abusive man..lol)
Now Steve getting me, is a whole different story. He scares me all the time. He is SNEAKY and very good or maybe I'm just a nervous wreck and easy target.. you pick!!! One time I was in the kitchen, we have a half wall that separates the kitchen and the stairs going down to the basement. He stood there with his head rested on the ledge.. very quietly. I kept doing my thing until I noticed something from the corner of my eye.... A head... I had a little double take action, then a delayed reaction. I screamed at the top of my lungs and I mean I screamed..stumbled back a few steps and then the chase to get him was on. He usually runs too..lol. I think it's one of those you just had to be there moments to truly admire his talent..lol

my dear son is a SNEAK. YUP, it's official I'm doomed. This morning he decided to watch TV in my room and what do I find... A little Ty with a bottle of body wash. Can you guess???.... he opened it and started spilling it on my FRESHLY WASHED CARPET!!!!! Thank goodness I caught him fairly quickly...If it would have been any worst I would have cried.
Then today our friend came to pick up the carpet cleaner to use at their house. I was showing him where the soap went and found one of our dogs toy in the compartment where the soap goes... hummm I wonder who may have done that..??? My girl friend later calls and asked me if I was missing any puzzle pieces and a Mr. potato head mustache.... Um, whyyyyy? "Well...we found them in the carpet cleaner". "Hummm I wonder who in this house could of done that". I replied to her in my very sarcastic voice.
I know to most this is really funny, I hope I too can laugh about this.... Maybe someday... ;-)

Welcome to our home

I thought I would post some pics of our place for all our long lost friends and family that haven't had a chance to come visit... YUP, I'm talking about you..lol. You all know who you are *smile*

My never ending laundry problem....

As many of you know, I have a problem... My laundry nightmare!!! I had a friend suggest I take pics to share on my blog (Thanks Stephanie....lol, now I have to admit I have a problem) I wonder if there is such a thing a LPA "laundry problems anonymous" I sure would be a good candidate. I am proud to say that I have have folded these mounds of clothes and have put them away. I feel like I've been lazy...lol. I only got that done. Oh yes, I forgot. I also did the putty in the playroom to prep for the painting. I may start that tonight once Ty is in bed. Depends if I'm off or not. I'm waiting for one of my daycare families to let me know if her back-up sitter is available for tomorrow.. I also asked her to check if her back-up is willing to take him Friday.. a 2 day work week.. I think I like it :-)

Pics; the 1st is the clean clothes waiting to be folded. Second pic, once it was folded (so you didn't just think I hid them for the pic...lol)and finally the end result :-)

He called

I answered the phone, Hello, hello??? The static on the line made it near impossible to hear.. I heard his faint little hello on the line. "babe, I can't hear you" I shouted. Then the line went dead. The phone rang again and I picked it up quickly since I was still clutching the phone in my hand. The line was better this time, but it still was cutting in and out. He said he was scared, but I shouldn't worry...lol. Ok there?? How in the world am I supposed to not worry. I told him to look at it as though the roles were reversed and it was me in danger. He then made the comment, but I like it, I live for this shit.. and I responded with "yes dear... and I will support you". Then he proceeded to talk about his mustache and how it was nice, thick and full... yup, that's my babe trying to make a tense conversation comical. Of course I fell right into it and told him to make sure it was gone before he came home..lol. He said "nope, I want to show it to you". "Oh well then I won't let you in the van I replied" "I'll rent a car" he said sarcastically....lol.. got to love him... Of course I will let him in the van with his caterpillar face, but I guarantee he's not getting any until he shaves it OFF...lol.. Ok Steve??? deal?
38 days and he's home, I don't know how in the world I'm going to watch him leave to go back. I wonder if I plead insanity if they would let him stay??? LOL

Happy Thanksgiving my Canadian friends!

I accomplished quite a bit. I cleaned my carpets... NEVER again. I have hired a company to come in the past and I'm thinking that's the way to go. I think the last time I got them done it was $70 for my main floor. It cost me $50 to rent the machine and to buy the cleaners. It took me an hour to figure out how to use the darn thing. I had to move everything around myself from one side of the room to the other and I had to clean the bloody thing... Duhhh.. NEVER!!!..lol

I also washed my basement walls, put my summer clothes away, did laundry (5 loads.. geezzz I can never get that in order in my life) even burned some of my pics to cd.
After all that I got ready to go to my girl friends house for thanksgiving diner. It was nice to get out and have some adult time.
I have decided to take the day off Tuesday too :-) I'll probably still keep the before school kids, that will get me out of bed super early to get a good start... I want to fold my laundry/put it away and paint the playroom tomorrow, and I want to get my cupboards clean and Tuesday I can relax and take it easy... oh ya and I have yard work to do to.... oh well, maybe some hunky man will offer to do it..lol.. Steve?

I hope to hear my dear hubby.. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you for all the calls/e-mails and support. YOU BLOG READERS ROCK...

Please have him in your thoughts and prayers today...

I was just about to head to bed and decided to check my e-mail real quick. I got an e-mail from my hubby. I have an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.. please keep him in your prayers, it's not like him to write any prayer/luck requests... He's obviously feeling like what he is about to do is pretty dangerous.

Hey babe, How are you? I'm going to be busy till Monday night sometime so I don't know if I will be able to call or e-mail till then.
Just wish me luck and pray for me please...
Love you lots and Ty and Tamaya and Pets and don't you forget it.
Love Steve always xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Please God, keep my Steve safe. We need him to come home. I don 't want to live my life without him. I want to spend the rest of my life being his wife. My children need their daddy...Please keep him safe.

What a busy day!

I had some major running around to do today. I was pleasantly surprised when I got 2 back-to-back calls letting me know I was going to have no children today... YIPPPEEEE!!! I took this to my advantage and started my running around this afternoon. The plan was to start early, but I was poky, I played around with the computer, wrote another blog entry (that I lost)and then my darn "new antivirus" asked me a questions I said NO, or do not accept and ended up screwing my computer... I had no Internet connection and spend at least an hour trying to get it back, but couldn't find where I had made my error... so then I uninstalled the program, then booted it back up. by the time we left it was 12:00. My intentions were to be out by at least 9...oops!
I finally got my plate stickers, got some paint for the playroom; lime green and blue, and bought some chalk board paint, I'm planning on painting 2 walls one color and 2 the other and a chalk board area the kids can write on. I also bought paint for Tamaya's room; in her room I'm doing the top half sage green & the bottom an off white separated by chair moulding (attached is a pic of the bedding I bought her months ago). I will make a little flower mural on the bottom part of her wall.. I think???
So to say the least, my weekend will be jammed pack with lots of fun and excitement. I have also rented a carpet cleaner for the weekend and have some carpets/furniture to wash up. With Ty and his "habit" I have a stench in my house that is less than desirable.. love it! I have not fully committed to all these "make work project" they are all good intentions and at least now I have all the stuff for when I have time to do it... however I do in fact enjoy painting, but this may be more difficult than usual because I have a little man that will also need attention! I may wait for Tamaya's room once daddy's home and we are both off work for a couple weeks.

I got a nice up-date on my baby girl, here are some of the picture of my "very" short haired girl. She still is the most beautiful baby girl I have ever seen.

thinking days

The last couple days I've been taking a look into my life and trying to analyze where it needs changes. My father thinks these thoughts come from turning the big 30...lol Maybe, and very likely but also big thoughts on life and how I want to live it??? I guess considering Steve's in such a dangerous situation it made me realise that anyone I am close to can be gone in the blink of an eye. I don't want to wake up in 50 years and wonder what I did with my life, I want to be able to say I enjoyed watching cartoons with my children snuggling up, having basement picnics and enjoying the little things in life, I want to reflect on my life and feel like I lived it. I want to be the best possible mom I can be, I want my marriage to be successful and always cherish my dear Steve. I want to be the daughter my parents are proud to have raised. The friend that does a little something for my friends in need. I am the only one accountable for my actions. I am the only one that really knows me. I need to remember to take time to nurture my soul. I need to listen to my body, mind and soul!!! Live in the moment and enjoy.

My family and friend are the only ones that will be there in the end, and I want to live my life being the best person I can be and to really take the time to stop and enjoy it very so often. I find that stress to me comes in different forms. I am a person that doesn't realise I am stressed and just keeps on going until I blow a gasket... Can you believe that with all the things going on in my life (pretty obvious, stresses) I seem to forget about them and instead of acknowledging them I wonder why I am short tempered and get into a emotional funk.. kind of funny if you ask me. It was very easy for me to see the stress in front of me; but I didn't see the big picture. It was a accumulation of other things in my life that were the underlying stressors and once I saw them for what they were my attitude and mentality changed quite a bit. When I see what I am going through, both are extremely hard and quite stressful. Someone said to me " you have a lot of stresses, it's OK to be stressed" Yes indeed it sure is, but you know I can't change either situation and it's OK for me to have hard days, sad days and stressful days. It's OK for me to see both situations as stressors and in the end everything will be alright. I will have my hubby home and my daughter home and all this stress will be dissolved to nothing. I will have "normal" everyday regular kind of stress instead of being a HUGE mountain of emotions. It will be one thing I can put in the book of been there, done that and be a stronger person because of it!

Less than perfect mom... and today I'm OK with that!

What I've come to realise is this; I have always strived for "perfection" and I've noticed I have a real hard time forgiving myself when it seems life is slightly off the beaten path. I have a picture perfect idea in my head of what I should do/be as a mother. I had absolutely no problems being that mom when I had an easy to parent child. Now that he is more of a challenge and I feel like I shouldn't be getting upset, stressed or angry about his behaviors. I'm the adult right? The one that should be keeping it all together!! I know some days I can be more patient, some days I have more tolerance for certain behaviors...and those days I feel "great" I am the mother I strive to be. I am proud to say on those good days I feel like a great mother, but every once in a while I don't. I get frustrated, I get impatient & I certainly feel angry and I have a really hard time forgiving myself for being less than perfect, I feel I should have all the patience in the world for him, I feel I should never raise my voice, or be anything less than great. I may not be the perfect mother... but I know for certain my love for him certainly is perfect. That's what I have to remember. I do love him perfectly, I do try and be the best mom I can, I must work at a few things (when I'm frustrated) to keep cool, calm and collected. I must forgive myself, apologise to him (to lead by example), and move on knowing I am just doing the best I can.

Today I feel like I was a damn good mom. My dear Ty was tired this afternoon. We did a craft and when I told him that I needed to glue and that he had enough on his craft he went into tantrum mode. I took 2 seconds to react... instead of barking at him for pushing and shoving me and screaming to tell him to get into a time-out. I told myself to be calm, reminded myself that he was tired and to go in with a loving approach. I told him pushing & shoving was inappropriate behavior and for that he needed to have a time-out. As I walked away he told me to "f-off" I again took 10 deep breaths walk up to him, told him that talking like that to me hurt my feelings. He went to push me away... I grab him in my arms held him tight and told him it didn't matter what he did, that I would always love him.. and he went in to total melt down mode with uncontrollable sobs. I held him until he calmed down. I asked him if he was now ready to complete his time-out. He agreed. He did it perfectly and when all was said and done he came to say sorry and asked me if he could have some alone time in my room. Within minutes he was fast asleep and I felt like we had got somewhere with my patience and understanding.

Ty's pics.. He's such a big boy!!

More to come later about his day!!!

A little bit of this... A little bit of that!

I slept a little better last night, I went to bed too late, it was close to 11pm, but I only woke up a couple times. This cold is really weird. It's like a little cold that just wont start??? I have a tickle behind my throat, and my nose is not congested? Either way, it still SUCKS and makes me feel gross. It's one of those that I don't feel justified to complain about... but I still will "cause I can!! :-)

Ty starts Nursery school today. I'm so excited for him! I hope he gets something out of it. I'm hoping he will listen to his teachers and be a good boy :-) (I'll post pics later today)

I talked to Steve yesterday afternoon. It was a pleasant surprise to hear from him. We talked about various things and just as we were saying our goodbyes I started to cry. I felt like I needed to let him know just how much he means to me and just how much we love him and need him... then the tears started flowing. Gosh.. somedays it's so hard to know he is there. I've also noticed that so many different wives cope a little differently than the next one. My coping mechanism is trying to "forget" he is there. I try to justify the tour, (there so many serving, if we loose X # of soldiers, then at least X #'s will come home and Steve will be one of them that comes back.....???)
I try and keep myself busy and try to focus on the good things around me. I try not to live this tour in "FEAR", but unfortunately somedays the fears are stronger and bite me in the keaster. I fear having a car pull in the driveway, I fear having to live my life without him. I keep telling myself not to worry, not to go there. I keep trying to tell myself; if something happens then you can deal with it... still doesn't make it any easier though.

I got an e-mail from Tamaya's caregiver. Tamaya had some pimple things on her head and they "REMOVED" all her hair to treat it. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet...lol. It will grow back.. right..???? Since we have started her adoption I have been collecting "hair pretties" for her because she had a HUGE amount of hair. Well I guess I won't be pulling them out anytime soon to make braids or twists.
I'm looking forward to seeing pictures of her with her "new" hairdo. It seems like the least of my worries these days. Besides at the rate this adoption is going she will have a full head of hair grow back before she's even close to coming home.. hahaha (gotta laugh about it... right!!!)

My funny little Ty!!!

"Mom, Ty's going to be an electrician just like papa Wayne (his grandpa Wayne)" he says to me. "Ty, your papa Wayne is not an electrician he's a miner" I tell him in a matter of fact voice "oh, OK then I want to be a miner" he says. "Ty, do you even know what a miner does?" I ask him. "ummm no" he replies as he is waiting for a response. "Miners dig for gold" I tell him. "Gold? What's gold mom" he asks. I tell him "gold is what they make bling bling with. "OHHHHHHHH Ty likes bling bling" he says with a huge smile on his face. :-)
An hour or so later I brought the kids out to play outside and he looks at me and says "mom, I'm just digging for some bling, bling" as he is playing in the sand.
Gosh, I honestly couldn't stop laughing.. what a kids :-)
Days like these make parenting feel easy and so rewarding!!! This is what I remember signing up for.... I guess I neglected to read the fine print :-)

Mondays.. I don't like Mondays.. Blah :-)

I feel like I didn't get any sleep last night although I know I did, but it was interrupted sleep. I would wake up every half hour with my tongue stuck to my pallet (is that even the English word? Anyways...The top of my mouth is what I'm talking about.. ) due to my mouth being so dry from my cold...It's so gross. I'm sure my snoring doesn't help me in that department :-)

So much for feeling like I would have a slow day with 2 kids. I think I have a couple tired little boys. Mondays are always like that with the daycare kids. Mom's and dad's keep them up later, or alter their routine to spend time with them, and I'm left to suffer on Mondays. I'm sure he will be well rested and good for tomorrow!
I brought the kids to play group (I NEVER go to play group, and don't like it, it's a bunch of "click" ladies from our small town and honestly I can live without the gossipers) I wanted Ty to know where he was going tomorrow for nursery school and at least feel at ease in a new location. I didn't stay the whole time, only an hour. I had to get some stuff to get through the next couple days. Milk, cream & bread... at least until I get the energy to get to the grocery store.
Then I drove to the next town over to get my sticker for my plates and wouldn't you know... the place is now a video store..lol. So now I'm ridding illegally until at least Wednesday.. I feel like such a bad a$$..LOL
The kids are having quiet time... the house is so QUIET.. the only sound I hear is my fridge... awww the silence is so nice. Now I'm going to go clean my basement, even though I REALLY don't want to.

I guess I'm not listening to my body today.... It's telling me to do NOTHING...hahaha!!!

Sunday Evening update...

I feel like I didn't do much today. I managed to clean my main floor and do a load of laundry. I'm pretty tired and really feeling under the weather. I decided to listen to my body and just give in to the fatigue. Besides, there is always tomorrow to catch up.

I only have 1 daycare family tomorrow and am looking forward to a quiet day. I will do some running around with Ty and Jeremy. The dog needs food. I still haven't renewed my license stickers and it was due on my b-day... oops. I would hate to get caught and get a ticket for something I could of avoided..lol. I have to get a couple groceries too. Awwww the life.

I haven't heard from my hubby in that past few days. Last time he called was on my b-day. Gosh... I miss him. Only a month and a half before he comes home on leave.

What I did for me today; I took a nice shower and got right back in my jammies, made myself a nice homemade onion soup & had another afternoon snooze. "I TOOK CARE OF ME!!!!" I'm proud of that :-)

Our family pets

Our big ol' grumpy Himalayan is Sam, he's 15ish. My parents bought him for me when I was a teen because I feel in love with him at the pet store. I had always wanted a big fluffy cat... well that's about all he is. He is so independent. Comes for snuggle once a month, then bites you if he doesn't like the way you are petting him... he is full of attitude!!! Steve's nickname for him is Shieff. He rules the the pets and puts up with nothing from them... Steve has yet to be bitten from him which still surprises me.



This is our dog Misty, she is 10yrs old. We have had her since she was 8 weeks old. She is daddy's dog, and when he is away she pretends that I'm her favorite. She's a pretty good dog with the occasional "mistakes". She can't help herself if there a loaf of bread on the counter. I have come many times to a empty bag of bread on the floor.



Our baby Jake, he is 9.5 years old. He is Siamese. He is the opposite of the "usual" Siamese. He is extreme in the snuggle department... He will make you pet him in the middle of this night if he sees your hands are there. I keep my fingers hidden from him. If someone is willing to give him lovings he's all over them... all the time :-)

Sunday update...

I should be giving my house it's deep clean, but instead I am savoring a nice hot cup of coffee and having some down time before my busy day starts... I'm feeling a cold coming on too.. blah!
Yesterday was a nice uneventful day. Ty and I had some basement picnics(in front of the TV in the rec room, we usually always eat together at the kitchen table, it's nice to change it up a bit)we had a nice afternoon snoozy together. It's amazing how good he is evening and weekend!!! It really makes me wonder if doing home daycare is really worth it, I wonder if the problems we have may stem from that? Can he be feeling mom's anxiety with the hustle and bustle of busy weekdays?... I don't know??? I am taking some time off once Tamaya comes home and I will have a chance to re-evaluate my career choice at that time.

Ty starts nursery school in 2 sleeps :-) I'm wondering how that will go?? He is getting pretty excited about it, and I have to admit it I am too. I know it will do him a world of good. The only reservations I had was that it's English and I would hate for this to hinder his next year in French school. He is really clinging to English and I have to constantly remind him to speak to me in French, but I also notice myself responding to him in English.. and having to correct myself.
I have asked his teacher to call him Mackenson. We haven't done a legal name change to Tyrone. I can't bring myself to do it. I would hate to take something that may be so important away from my children. My children will both be called by their birth-names in the school system, Dr. office, etc.... Once they are adults they can choose if they would like it changed and they will have heard both names so neither of them will be foreign to them and won't be as though they are changing their names completely. We will continue to call them Ty and Tamaya, it will more as nicknames. I hope this great plan of mine works :-)