awwww this is the life...

Being away from home and in a 3rd world country sucks..lol. I'm not ready to be packing my bags and moving anytime soon. It's amazing how much you appreciate what you have when you see such extreme poverty. If I ever complain again about my tiny house or of any of the luxuries I have, please remind me to check my mental stability and give me a reality check. (even if this consist of a slap upside the head!!!)

When I came in to the airport in Ottawa I scanned the place to see if I could see Ty and Steve. I looked around and couldn't see them.. then all of a sudden I saw my Ty (he looked so much bigger than before I left, maybe it's the "short" pants daddy let him wear...lol) running towards me. We hugged and he told me how much he missed me. Then he asked me if I met his brown mom. I had to tell him that unfortunately once again I couldn't "find" her or get any info about her. I did tell him that I did ask around and let everyone know that if she ever comes around that WE NEED contact for him... at least a picture and some basic info. Since Ty came home I have been trying to get anything about his Haitian family... now that he is asking so many questions it would be so great to be able to give him something. It seems so unfair that I have so much info/ contact for Tamaya and nothing for Ty. I still have hope that someday we will have something.

Steve and Ty did well while I was away. They are both alive and well..lol.. Ty told me yesterday that "daddy was tough". I asked him if I was tough and he said Yeah... so I guess he couldn't of been that mean..lol. Steve's back is still really bad and has not healed any since he came back home. (He is now waiting on cat scan results to see if it will need surgery) Thankfully Ty is at a fairly independent age because had he needed more assistance there was no way I could have left.

I had rented a phone while I was there and I was able to talk with them every other day or so which was nice.

At first I worried about what condition my house would be in when I arrived, but in all honesty when I was on my way home I really didn't care if it would have been at it's worst at least I was home and had all my comforts. (by the way the house was pretty good, but now I have done NOTHING since I got back and I have some catching up to do)

I really miss my sweet Tamaya, I was ok coming home without her just because I knew that my trip was for a reason... to start our bonding. The first couple days I was in awwww just getting to know her, observing her and just enjoying being there with her. I think I was in shock that we were actually together. By day 3-4 my heart started having some major mommy love feelings... and the few days before I left I was in love... The deep in love feelings I feel for Ty. The unconditional mommy love. She is everything and more than I could have wanted. She is a true little girl with such a calm and happy personality. She is gorgeous and simply perfect in every way. I can't wait to introduce her to my family and friends so they can meet my perfect little angel.

She looked the same she did last year when I went, she was just a little taller. From the pictures I was receiving she looked so different, but she was the same, just taller (but she was shorter than I expected), walking, running, had a mouthful of teeth...lol The first thing I noticed when I held her for the first time was she smelled the same. Her smell was so nice... it must be the cream they use.

Ahhhhh how I hope we get news soon so that she can come home and bless our home, meet her papa and brother and that I can move on with me life and my family of 4!!!