adoption ramblings part 3...

I now have a plan. It feels good deep down inside and I am thinking this is the best plan yet and a KEEPER!!!

I was talking with my mom about not feeling right about having Tamaya escorted. That I thought I had made my decision, but that I kept thinking of alternatives. I thought about 10 different scenario's and none felt right. A wise friend (Patricia) pointed out that the escort should document her saying good-bye to her nannies, the airport and flight back and all of a sudden my heart just ached knowing I could not explain her her home coming story fully. I tell Ty his story often and he loves hearing it.

Then other things started flooding my mind... Tamaya is intimidated when there are a lot of new people around and that my escort would have to console her at the airport and other crowded places... then when she landed in Canada to meet us she would probably be overwhelmed and our escort would be the only person she "knows" and would have to again comfort her. I started seeing how that could be hard on all of us. Then Tamaya would have to start all over again getting to know us.

I started thinking about Ty... when he said "you need to go get her in Haiti". I thought man oh man... and replayed his homecoming in my mind and how important it was for us. We did a one day trip. Landed in the morning and came back in the afternoon. We didn't leave the airport because of safety issues. Ty was scared and needed to be comforted, he held on to us for a few days after coming home. We were able to console him and started bonding right away because of this!

So in looking at my "reasons" for not going I put any of us adults aside and thought about the children. And what was best for both of them because someday I will love Tamaya as much as my sweety pie Ty.

- Ty's therapy is VERY important. I will ensure I plan my trip around that. If I have to leave after the meeting so be it. I will not miss any.

- Steve and Ty having some alone time is good. Re-bonding for a couple days without me will not hurt him any.

- If Ty missed me too much when I am gone when I come back I can re-focus on him and have Steve start bonding with Tamaya.. 2 parents for 2 kids...lol..

Back to my point...

So then I thought... if I can get someone close to me to come with me I wouldn't feel so alone on the trip to get her. I wouldn't be alone feeling all these emotions anticipated with our re-reunion. NOBODY IN MY FAMILY HAS A PASSPORT.. none of my very close friends either. Then it dawned on me...

Originally I had started planning my trip to Haiti with a mom that has her son at the same place Tamaya is. We were stuck in the same waiting place and figured we were going to get out at the same time. So we had planned our trip together... once our files drifted we kind of left that thought behind. Tonight while talking with my mom I had a OH MY GOSH moment. I would ask this mom if she wanted to come with me... be my travel partner and she would benefit from being able to be with her son for the very first time. Learn things about him, get prepared for his homecoming, and start bonding with him. We had talked about going for a trip to visit before and it never worked out.

SO... SHE HAS AGREED and we will travel together!!! She is flexible and able to travel on short notice. She has a passport..lol.. and she has even offered to pay her own way. I was fully prepared and offered to pay for her flights because had Steve wanted to come I would of had to pay it anyways.

So now... that's the plan!!! I feel better about this decision and I am NOT going to change my mind anymore..lol. Beside I have a back up plan. If my partner for some reason cannot come, I have a passport ready adoption friend/escort who is willing to tag along. So my traveling alone to Haiti fear is not going to stop me now..!!!