Family and Children's Services Part 2...

We had a follow up appointment today. Our "file" was given to a different worker than the one originally here. (This one actually has children of his own!!!)

He asked me if I took the lock off.. I explained that yes I had and that it was NOT working for me. And that I had put another child proof door handle thingy on the door. He gave me the hairy eyes balls and I simply said let me explain... I said "I was told by FCS that it was not illegal unless it was used maliciously and it being harmful to my son." I said "I have absolutely nothing to hide. I am a GREAT parent and my job is to keep my son safe." I explained that it is no way used to put him to sleep, nor does he get ignored in his room. I told him that I have always and will always run to Ty if he needs me. The lock is there to simply get him back to bed once he has been awakened between 1-4am. If he is unstimulated he falls back asleep. Nothing more... nothing less. It's the truth!!!

I also explained that the 1-2-3- magic tape that was recommended for Ty's discipline (from our other local place) also said that if a child refuses to stay in his/her room for their time-out to put a lock the door. I explained that when Ty is in a time-out I put him in his room for the 3 minutes and if I do not, or if I place him anywhere else for his time-out I become his punching bag and I refuse to be abused by my 3 year old.

He seemed very impressed that we had already been seeking help. He had already heard of the program we are in and has heard nothing but great things from it. I told him that I have received quite a bit of useful information already and we are now starting to be at a point of learning strategies. He does not see the need keep being involved. He is going to follow up with the centre I am already with to get their opinion on us and to make sure they think we are getting the right help for Ty, but he felt very strongly that it wasn't necessary to have help from all sides and that I have been doing what I need to be doing for the time-being. I explained that once Steve is home... (my light sleeper,) that we will remove the lock from the door... but until he is home it is staying on because I need to keep my son safe.

So all in all the meeting went well. I felt I adequately explained myself and my intentions without being emotional. I felt he understood my intent and that he agreed that as a mother I am responsible for keeping him safe. He also added it was not the "best" way, but at this point it seemed like the logical thing to do... (for now)

He also recommended I get in touch with my doctor to get a referral to a pediatrician so that I can ask him for a sleeping aid for Ty...(we talked about Ty's drug sensitivity... getting super hyper on any medication) The problem is not getting him to sleep, it is keeping his asleep. Put a lock on the door and Ty goes back to sleep...or drug my child to sleep. Hummmm??? I don't know I think I rather use the lock???? I feel like I already have it under control without using drugs...

Once Steve is home and we are back to "normal" parenting my intention is to get the lock off the door... but I need Steve to be a part of this process to make it effective!

So in closing... I am glad that this can become a part of the past. I certainly did not like feeling judged, nor did I need this in my life..lol. But at least today I felt like I was understood! My intent, and my parenting was understood... I no longer have to "prove" myself to them!!!