Moustache Part 2...

What is it around here with my boys and their moustaches???

My son has a cold. The ones that drip down the upper lip with no notice, and we are constantly running after him with a tissue. I was heading towards him with a Kleenex and he says "mom, no you can't away take my moustache" WHAT????, and he of course repeated this. It's no longer the milk moustache it is officially the boogie moustache around here!!!

Steve and I are having such a nice vacation. We haven't been doing much of anything besides spending some quiet days enjoying each others company. Today I had a few tears as we were talking. I know that next week I will be sending him off again and that my life will be very active and stressful again. Just having him home changes so many things in so many ways. When we were just married with no children his tours were a time that I would do everything for me... it was nice to be selfish and just worry about myself. I would take care of me, exercise, diet, warm baths and soothing massages. His time home was appreciated but I didn't feel like I needed his support as much as I do now. I am a very independent woman, but until now I haven't really realised how much of an active father he is, how much he helps and just how much him being a part of my life was so important. I guess I just really appreciate having him home and it's going to be hard to see him off again. I know I will get through it.. I can do it, but it's so nice not to have to right now.

No news on the adoption. I'm hoping to hear we are out of court soon. It's been a month since we've been out of IBESR. It shouldn't be to much longer before we have another step done and off to passport hell we go. It looks like some families have been waiting 3+ months for stinken passport??? Oh did I ever say that I was done adopting..lol.. 'cause if I haven't let me repeat it again... I AM SO SO DONE!!!!
*** I guess when they say you know when your done they are so right.

this and that...

Tamaya's room is now complete with her new mattress and all. It's nice to have it all done :-) I feel as though I have accomplished so much and it feels like a weight has been lifted knowing I don't have to worry about that project anymore. It turned out like I had pictured in my mind!!!

I received an update the other day about my baby girl; (I am posting it here, please keep in mind that the lady that wrote it is Dutch and English is not her first language!)

Hi Sue and Steve,I tried to send you pictures but the Internet is doing badly.Chantamaya was running around, she did not like to be on the pictures,she has a lot of energy and turns everywhere.She is so nice and doing well.Sometimes she has pimpels on her head. Today we did go to Bio-med to do a test. It shall take a week before we know it. We don't like to shave her hair everytime. Anaïse did have it too, she came with it, but by her it does not comeback. We choose for a test for Chantamaya, but it is not very badly. You can't see it on the pictures, so little it is. She is trying out how far she can go by taking toys away of other children. By Agnes and me she has not a lot of chances, but the ladies do nothing with it and than Chantaline is doing like a child that is going on, but it is not her. She has only to learn what is allowed and what not.When I put her for punishment in her bed, she cries, when I talk with her, she is angry, she looks at me. I tell her that every time that she is taking toys away, I put her in her bed. I put her on the ground, she is looking at me, I give her another toy and she is playing fine. She knows it so well, but she needs some help.When you have to play with 3 or 6 other children it is good that she tries to be the boss. Agnes and I have to laugh about her. She is so nice ...It is a beautiful girl. A big hug of her for you all of Chantamaya, greetings and Love Marijke

I love getting my updates. Marijke opened up her home is such a wonderful soul. She didn't like seeing the children suffer in the orphanage and decided she would take them into her home while they waited for their paper work to be complete. She is always training her nannies and demands that they provide excellent care. I am blessed and happy knowing my baby girl is in her home with such GREAT nannies to care for her. It's still not my home, but I couldn't ask for a better place for her to be while she waits to join us.

A couple days ago I was going through my pictures of my trip to Haiti and couldn't believe how much time has gone by and how much my baby has grown. It feels like it was only a few months ago, but it's been 10 months. I have thought about going back... A part of me would be on the next plane, and the other part of me doesn't want to go on that emotional ride again. It was magical the first time I met her, but having to leave her and of the other emotional feelings I went through were draining... it was nothing I have ever experienced. I know having gone and her no longer just being a baby in a picture has made this waiting SO SO HARD, but I don't regret having such an experience in my children birth country.

Here is a picture from my trip.

I'm bored...

My hubby's home, I am off work, my son is good, I have less responsibilities and I AM BORED (which is a great thing, but I am so bored I don't know what to do with myself). I know I needed a break from my stressful life and I should be grateful that life is so uneventful, but my life has been filled with such chaos I don't know what to do with myself when I have nothing to do...lol

Here are some pics of her room with the curtains, a couple pics of Ty and some new pics of Tamaya I received today!!! I'm going to park my butt back on the lazy-boy and watch some more TV...back to boredom :-)

Freaken done...

I did have some moments of panic throughout the day, we did manage to pull the house together and now I don't feel like a filthy pig. I guess I freaked out for nothing as they have not arrived yet :-) I was up at 6am worried I wouldn't have enough time to get everything into place. Steve got a few lectured during our cleaning. He is wayyyyy to mellow and he was the one that convinced me to do it all today instead of my original plan to clean the paint mess and get the extra furniture in the basement then all we would have left to do today would be to clean the house. Thank goodness he is cute and we got it done because he would have got the " your in big trouble" look had they arrived and we were half done... Hahaha.. but we got 'er done!!!

I have posted some pics of Tamaya's room without the mattress or the curtains up. I will be sure to send the completed pics once I have finished the room. I am so proud of it and it's the first time since we bought the house that I actually like the darn pink carpet. The room used to be Ty's and it didn't matter what I did with the room I HATED the pink and I couldn't hide it. There were many moments were I was ready to rip it out, but now I'm glad I kept it. I find it really brings the whole room together.

So now my message to the universe: Tamaya we are ready for you.. you can come home now!!! We love you baby girl.

Before and After

This was the room before and the film loop is now the new and improved Tamaya's room!!!

I think tomorrow I may panic...

It's so wonderful to have my hubby home. Ty is back to being a "normal" kid. Daddy just gives him the hairy eye balls and he straightens right up. Ty has been sleeping full nights and hasn't been napping in the afternoons to catch up... he gets to sleep in without any interruptions from daycare kids coming in at 6:15 and doesn't hear me getting ready at 5:30. It really has brought a few things to my attention that I will have to put some thought into.

I finished painting Tamaya's room. Steve put the chair rail up and he almost gave up because he couldn't figure out how to get a the angles straight. I told him not to give up.. I wanted the flippen room finished. After a couple head scratches *I* figured it out and it went well from there. He brought in the cut pieces and I hammered them in, the I painted them. At one point today when I passed by her room and took a peek I had a few tears stream down my cheek. I was happy Steve and I had the chance to tackle the room together and also a sense of awww knowing Tamaya is on the home stretch. All I have to do now is a quick vacuum, bring the old dresser downstairs and for Steve to put the bed together. (I still need to buy a mattress and a curtain rod, hopefully this weekend.) and then I will be sure to post pictures of my baby girls room!!!

My house has been neglected these last couple days and I know I will be in a huge panic tomorrow because my in-laws are coming for the weekend and I need to get toooo much stuff done. I could be doing something right now beside blogging, but that again would mean I am not a procrastinator.. :-)

Whoa...

What a day. I feel like I was lazy for the best part of the morning, but I sure made up for that. I have now officially started Tamaya's room. What a job. The room used to be Ty's and there was a tool belt border. I took that off!!!, and he had peeled most of the paint off and took a hammer to the wall. The prep work took me most of the afternoon. Then I had to sand the putty job We put the closet organiser in her closet. Put her clothes in it. I have all the dolls and stuff I collected for her over the past year in the closet too. There was stuff in the bins in her closet that I forgot I even had. Because it was the "spare room" junk accumulated and now I have a million things to find room for.
I have started painting the room and everything needed to be painted... the trims, baseboards, the closet door and the door. The off white I chose really looked awful next to the crisp white that was there so I had no choice. I only have the second coat of the green left to do then I will be off to bed. Tomorrow Steve can put the bed together and hopefully he will buy the material to put up the chair rail. I can't wait until it's done so I can see the finished product.
Better yet. I can't wait until she is home so I can see her sleeping in her room :-)

My 2 babies are sleeping...

So I guess a cold combined with jet lag = a sleeping hubby at 7:00pm. I put Ty to bed and turned my head to find Steve passed out on the couch as well. I asked him if he wanted me to close up the basement lights and TV and he said "no, no, let me just sleep for 10 minutes... ummm no 20." I told him I would wake him up in 30 and chuckled and told him I would see him in the morning. He said, "oh no,no I can take little naps now"... HA HA HA, yeah right! He never, ever can only take a little nap. If he sleeps he is out for the night. It's nice to know I still know him so well. He has also managed to get out of some shores because of his fresh tattoo. He couldn't cook, do dishes, or give Ty a bath??? hummmm??? I think I may be the one suffering for his "art" ;-)

While Ty was in nursery school we went to the ski-doo shop and looked at some winter snow suits for Steve as well as Ty. We bought Ty's and will give it to him for Christmas. I bought it big hoping it will be ok for next year. Steve's is on order and we hope to get it in the next couple days. They're not the same, but they match. I'm sure Ty will be so happy that Santa brought him such a cool ski-doo suit.

It's so funny and unusual to see my hubby spend money. He never usually spends any money on himself unless I encourage it. Since he has come home he has been making up for lost times which is nice to see. We will also have to buy him a few pairs of jeans. He lost so much weight that the jeans he has are way toooo big and they really don't look good. I still have to get him on the scale for the official weight loss, but I'm thinking close to 40lbs. Before he left to go to Afghanistan he lost about 10 lbs on a training exercise and he must of lost at least 30 since he's been in Afghanistan. My parents really noticed the drop, but I really didn't notice that much of a change until we started looking at summer picture and noticed how loose his t-shirt are now compared to the summer pics. If only I could drop 40 lbs that fast. Of course I could sign up for the military and ..... ummm nope, I don't think so. I think I rather stay "plump" and be nice and safe in my Canadian bubble!!!

My Convict..lol.. well that's what he looks like or some kind of biker dude!!! The Boys he works with say he looks like an 1980's porn star.. hahaha!!!!

He looks like he just shaved off 10 years..

although it's not baby smooth,

it's better than that caterpillar.

Steve is officially, moustacheless. :-)

It's so nice to have Steve home, we are getting along great. He has been so helpful and it is so nice to co-parent as well as not having all the responsibilities alone. He is so appreciative of everything I cook..lol. Yesterday he just loved and enjoyed his bologna sandwich a little too much.

Steve went and got his tattoo done today. He only got the one for Ty, but not the one for Tamaya yet. I will be sure to post some pictures of it soon.

Steve shaved his moustache... I think he lovvvvvvvvves me!!!! I hadn't taken a before pic, but fortunately he took a picture of himself with it. I think he was proud of it.. hahaha!!! He didn't shave it baby smooth. I think his plan now is to let grow a goat-t???

Trying again...

Ok.. so lets try this again. I have tried writing a couple blogs now and my darn computer was having issues. Steve had downloaded some music and the laptop caught a few bugs from it. Now I have had time to clean it up and I hope it's good to go.

Friday; I arrived in Ottawa and had enough time to go to Ikea with lots of time to spare. I checked out of the beds and the one I was originally going to buy for her wasn't as nice as I imagined and from the wear of the floor model I knew it wouldn't stay nice for long with little ones. I did however find a cute one that I picked up which will match the gorgeous dresser that Steve uncle Bob made for us. I picked out a wood one that will take more of a beating. I really find the picture does it no justice.

We got to the airport around 3. Ty had fallen asleep from Ikea to the airport and I woke him up and as we were walking into the airport I asked him if he knew where we were. "No, Mom I don't know" he said. "Well Ty, we are at the airport. Someone special is coming" I told him waiting to see if he would clue in. I told him that papa was coming and he said.. "NO, my papa is in Afghanistan" I finally convinced him!!! I gave him Steve's ball cap and told him he needed to hold it until he saw him. I checked the screen and saw that his plane was delayed by 15 minutes which would make our waiting time another 45 min. Ty was pretty good and patient for the first little delay. He talked to everyone that was waiting and told them all he was waiting for his daddy. The screen then had another 45 minute delay and then Ty started getting tired of waiting and started getting busy and antsy. At one point in the terminal he pulled down his pants and I pulled them up super fast and I was quite embarrassed (my dad wanted me to put in-bare-ass..lol.. for word embarrassed..hahahah, my daddy made a funny) I ran with him to the washroom and realised he was trying to undress himself because he had a wet fart.
We finally got to the doors and waited patiently for Steve to come through. A few soldiers had made there way and Ty was disappointed that none of those were his daddy. He started acting silly and walked up to the railing in front of the doors and the next one out was Steve. He noticed right away and started screaming PAPA, PAPA... MY PAPA and bolted to Steve, jumped in his arms and hugged him tights. He was so proud of being in his daddy arms and of course I was a blubbering mess when I saw the pride in my boy from being with his daddy. He announced the the whole crowed that THIS WAS HIS PAPA.. there wasn't a dry eye in the place. I have done many homecomings and nothing prepared me for seeing my son be with his daddy.. it still chokes me up.

We are really enjoying having Steve home. We are adjusting well to the nice change of having him home. Ty has tested his boundaries numerous times, but together as parents seem to manage his meltdown much better by tag-teaming.

Steve did come home with the darn caterpillar moustache and it looks like I may have him convinced to take it off until he goes back.. I will keep you posted and I will be sure to take before and after pics..lol

My parents came up yesterday afternoon for supper and left early this morning. We haven't really stopped since Steve's been home. Yesterday we went to the tattoo place. Steve has an appointment for tomorrow to get 2 of them done. He is getting the kids names on his forearms with their zodiac and birth-date. Then we went to the grocery store.. HOLLY.. I think that was the grocery spending record... Steve was craving EVERYTHING, I guess that's what happens when you eat rations for 3 months. We came home I made some lasagna for diner, my parents came in shortly after and they brought Ty his Christmas gift. The fancy walk in kitchen was only if you ordered it from Costco, they had a similar kitchen, but only one wall of cupboards and it wasn't as nice as they expected. So they went to toys r us and picked him up a COOL Barbeque/kitchen. On one side it's the BBQ and the other is the kitchen. He LOVES it!

My dear hubby is installing the new home entertainment thingy he bought and it sounds like he is finished. I will go spend some time with him and I will blog soon. :-) MY HONEY IS HOME.... YIPPPPEEE!!!

I'm out if here..

With time to spare :-) 10:10 lots of time!!!!

Today, Today, Today!!!!!!! 0 days...

Ok so I'm a tad excited and can't wait to hold my hubby.

I was talking to my friend last night and I was procrastinating yet again. She says "This is my prediction of your day tomorrow. You will wake up at 7:00. You will have allll these things to do, Ty will be difficult and you will barely make it out the door by 11:00 to have enough time to shop at Ikea" I laughed when I got up at 7:00.

So far this morning I have managed to do the cat litter, put the garbage out, put Ty's laundry away, got him bathed, creamed & cut his nails. I brought the cat food out of the van, swept the main floor (the darn dog is shedding) We are just eating breakfast, then my plan is to shower and shave :-) then I have to take the million car seats out of the van and stow and go the seats (just in case I buy the bed and lets hope it fits) and try to be out the door before 11:00 so I can prove my girlfriends prediction wrong.. :-) I have 2 hours to accomplish it.. I can do it, yes i can :-) I wonder is gassing up and grabbing a coffee on the way will count for not being gone??? (well I'll just pretend it doesn't!!!)

Yipppppeeee!!!! 6 more hours!!!

wow, what a day :-)

I finally feel like there may be help out there for Ty and I!!!!

The few professionals that I have spoke to are NOT in any way able or educated enough to give a firm answer as to what Ty is suffering from and this has been very frustrating for me as a parent. There is something off with Ty that everyone agrees to, but I have no way to effectively research or help if I don't know what the problem is. I have had "professionals" suggest that he may have ADHD, but I am not willing to entertain that thought unless he has been thoroughly evaluated by a PHD that specialises with children with ADD and ADHD... and then I would need a second opinion to back it up to continue with that theory. I have done some research on attachment disorders and most times the articles suggest that attachment and ADHD behaviors are very similar.

I strongly believe Ty's behavior has to do with trauma he has endured in his first year of life. An adoption friend, Patricia suggested a few places to start in regard to getting help in Ottawa and I have contacted those places and feel like I have some information to proceed with getting in touch with professionals in the field of international adoption and psychiatry. I still have to make some calls, to set up appointments and I will certainly rule them out quickly if I feel like I am barking up the wrong tree.

I had the development lady (she is educated in the area of fine and gross motor skills) here today and Ty had a meltdown while she was here... He was very tired and I knew it was a matter of time before he was going to loose it. I tried re-directing him. Suggesting he go lay down in my room to do quiet time. He pushed and pushed. I spoke to him and let him know that unless he was to listen and follow the rules that the next place he was going was his room for a nap. Of course he pushed and I brought him into his room. The whole way down he screamed, pinched kicked... Awwww I loved it. I don't know if she was in shock or what, but I guess she felt the "need" to try and fix it??? I was tired, exhausted and honestly didn't need a half ass, pretend, psychotherapist give me her 2 cents, but of course she felt she had to. Well I was very firm about the fact that this was the reason I needed to find out how to effectively parent him and that the last "super nanny" suggested I stay in his room with him, but all that resulted in is me being the punching bag and the victim of his abusive behavior so the last super nanny agreed I was right on staying away until the aggressive behavior was over. I did tell her that as soon as he was calm that I do go in his room, he knows that I am there and I talk to him through the door to assure him I am close. Once he has calmed down and I know it is safe to enter without being "abused" I hold him, I tell him I love him, we talk about the situation and I reassured him I will always be here for him.. which she witnessed... I explained how as an outsider she has not seen the steps we have been through to find this "temporary" parenting technique. I explained all the steps that we have gone through and holly molly.. I just wanted to tell her to mind her own business... but of course I didn't and was firm on my point of view about her "OPINION" (this is coming for a lady that brought information to me today on tourette's syndrome because Ty has 2 signs out of 20, but doesn't have the ticks??????? She has been trying to diagnose him. I think what happens is that all these professionals feel attached to our case because it is unique in this area and instead of admitting its over their head they continue to rack their brains and waste my time with their uneducated guesses...

Now on one hand I did get in touch with one of the ladies that my adoption social worker suggested. She doesn't have the qualifications we need, but she was the first professional to ask me how I was doing. How I was coping. She is also an adoptive mother of 2 and said as adoptive parents we tend to be harder on ourselves. We go through years of different means to try and form our family, to then choose adoption as a perfect way to form our family. Then we are accessed, poked and prodded to be "allowed" to adopt. She said it was very normal to feel guilty about not knowing the answers. I felt like this was the first "professional" that finally didn't judge me as a parent because she knew where I was coming from and acknowledged that this is indeed hard. WOW!!!

I guess it will be a game of lets wait and see, but I have a pretty good feeling we are going to get somewhere with all these resources.

Tonight I was helping Ty clean his room from the destruction from a couple days ago and as I was helping him fold clothes to put back in his dresser he looked at one of the shirt and says "oh no mom, you we can't put that one back I peed all over it" "What?" I asked confused. "I peed all over it with my penis mom" he said to me!!!! What do you do? I sniffed it, put it in the laundry pile and ignore the behavior... man oh man, he did in fact pee on it??? I guess can't punishing him for telling the truth...lol

I was going dye my hair and shave my legs..lol, but I guess the box of dye I thought I had? I don't have. And I figure I have lotttts of time to shower and shave in the morning..lol. The house is fresh and the only thing I have left to do is fold some laundry... I'm going to get to that as soon as I finish up here and watch a little TV. I wonder if I should leave it all in Steve's spot on the couch and he can do it when he gets home...hahaha.. just kidding.

One more sleep... well I guess if you can call it that. I don't know how much sleeping I will do tonight with the excitement of tomorrow!!!!!

3 blogs today??? I guess I am making up for lost days!

1 day...

Tomorrow, tomorrow he's coming tomorrow.. it's only a day away. So I'm a tad excited that my hubby is coming. He is on route.. maybe even in a plane right now.. or in an airport. I have no idea what his itinerary is, because of the whole "secret stuff" but I do know he will be home at 3:30 tomorrow.. assuming his flights are not delayed.. YIPPPPEEE.

I am officially off work and don't have the kids for almost 3 weeks. I wasn't going to take today off because my plan was just be off Friday, but Riley has a "mild" case of chickenpox (or he is reacting to the vaccine, but the doc wasn't sure because he has been in contact with a someone with chickenpox) so he is not here for the for the rest of the week so I suggested my daycare families check with their back-up sitters and see if it would work out for me to get today off as well :-) and YES I am off. Ty has nursery school this morning. I will drop him off and get my main floor cleaned up so Steve can come home to a nice fresh, clean house. Then this afternoon I have Ty's developmental lady coming. Then Ty has dance tonight. Thursdays are always busy around here, but now I have the extra excitement that Steve is coming tomorrow. I still need to shave my monkey suit. I'm embarrassed to admit that I haven't shaved my legs since my birthday..hahaha!!! You can say I have officially past the picky stage..lol. I'm also going to dye my hair, pluck out my uni-brow and try to make myself look cute..hahaha!!! I feel like I'm getting ready for a first date. It's funny how absence makes the heart grow founder.. I feel like a little school girl with her first big date with the guy she has had a crush on all year. Oh the joys of deployment!!!

2 days...

Yesterday was a day I would like to forget. My dear son was a hand full and then some. He has been talking about his daddy a lot these days and yesterday morning Steve called and Ty talked to him for a brief moment. It seems as soon as he got off the phone he started acting up. I started getting Ty ready for nursery school and gave him his clothes. He refused to get ready and was very defiant. I put him in his room with his clothes and told him that once he was dressed, with the clothes I gave him he could come out, but he only had a 10 minutes or he would not be allowed to go to school because he would be late. I checked on him often trying to encourage him to get dressed and he flat out refused. I told him that at that point he was NOT going to school but once he was dressed he could come out. I went in his room to do some more coaxing and I closed all his dresser drawers because he was being silly with them. I told him it was dangerous and that it could fall over. Of course I left the room and he opened them all and his dresser fell to the floor and thank goodness didn't hurt him. I ran in only to find him with a dry wall screw in his mouth. (the boy is going to give me a heart attack man) so I went in to talked with him and try to get him to comply/listen and he started screaming, swearing and hollering. I went to spank him while I was upset and stopped myself, because I don't spank! But REALLY wanted to, as I was upset and backing away I hit the back of my head on his darn bunk and lost it. I know I screamed and hollered.. and started running out and as I was halfway up the stairs I collapsed and had a big sob. I know it was from being so overwhelmed and feeling like the worst person in the world. I had lost my cool and I hate that. I *should* be calmer and I should know better, but some days he does get the best of me and the my patience is tested repeatedly. After my good sob I was able to take a few moments to gather myself, I called my girl friend and cried. She knows first hand the struggles I have on a daily basis with Ty and she was a great ear. She knows how difficult some situations are!!! Although she may never truly understand what raising Ty is all about she offered suggestions and a compassionate ear. My mom also made a few comments that just made me "feel" normal and ok. She said unless someone is in your situation they will never truly know what you are going through, and acknowledged that yes he was very difficult. The rest of the day he was still very defiant, but my patience level was able to handle it better. He did time-outs all day and was sooooo disrespectful. I was glad when he fell asleep at 6:00pm. I called my mommy and did a happy dance. I finally knew I was able to relax for the rest of the night!!! It's unbelievable how one little person can teach you so much about yourself and knows how and what to do to push you that much further.

3 days...

Wow, we sure are getting close to having Steve home!!! I wonder how many times I will actually blog when he is home.
I'm trying to keep my expectations of his homecoming low. I sometimes seem to have a "fantasy" idea of how thing should go while he is here and get disappointed if he doesn't deliver. I know the first few days he is home he will be suffering from jet-lag and the major time change so I will just think of those days as right offs.

Ty was super silly yesterday. Me oh My, He was *THE* sneak!!! After supper he asked if he could have desert. I told him NO because he drank my pop while my back was turned so I told him that was enough sugar for the day. A few minutes later I found him with a pezz dispenser trying to sneak a candy. I told him NO and went to take it away and he put it in his mouth and crunched it super fast. He later threw a toy at me. While he was in the washroom he went into the med cabinet and took a bottle of Tylenol and tried to open it (THANK GOODNESS for child proof) He takes q-tips from the washroom garbage and puts them into electrical outlets and in the TV holes. I found a lighter under his pillow when I put him in bed... The worst thing about all this is I have no clue when or where he can get into all these thing as I feel like I am maman hawk eyes because he is so darn sneaky. I guess like my mom says he is a great teacher to show you all the things that he can do that are dangerous.

Thank goodness our son is cute. I wrote Steve an e-mail last night and mentioned to expect Ty to be a little different from when he left. Once Steve gets home and experiences his new sneaky son he will be counting the days before he leaves to go back ;-)

4 days...

Go big or go home???
My parents are always buying Ty gifts for Christmas and his birthday that are the big hit. Last year they bought Ty his first 2 wheel bike with training wheels for his birthday. The year before for Christmas they bought him a John Deer tractor with a trailer... Now for Christmas this year I made the suggestion that Ty has been asking and eyeing a little play kitchen. He loves playing with the kitchen at my girlfriends house and he amuses himself with play food for hours. My dad "almost" decided that he wanted to buy something better than that for Ty. The funny part is that I know this would be the hit even if my dad doesn't think so..hahaha, it must be a man thing. So my parents did some on-line browsing and found THE kitchen... GO BIG OR GO HOME!!! I have a feeling this will indeed be THE HIT!!!!



I got an e-mail from my hubby this morning. He is back on camp, and is feeling pretty excited to start his journey home. His BIG request for the day was that I have one of his ball caps in the van so he can have it to wear right away.. apparently the helmet and tuques that he has been wearing the the past three months are depressing him and he neeeeeds a ball-cap. Steve always has a hat on and now I just have to remember where I put them when he left??? He usually put them on top of the kitchen cupboards and it drives me crazy. They are high up and I can't just reach them unless I get the chair.. so he has won that battle... one of the first things I did when he left was to find another spot for them while he was away. I just couldn't keep looking at them up there for 6 months.

Today is going to be a pretty relax day. Ty is sick with a cold and the baby is gone down for his nap. As soon as he awakes I will get them in the van and get some running around done. It's much easier to do while I only have the 2.
I need to go buy some smokes (my big plan is to quit after Steve has left to go back.. I can do it, yes I can.. I have in the past and was successful twice for 6 months, unfortunately I had a puff and that was it, I was hooked again. As long as I never, ever have one again I will be smoke free), beer for the fridge (for Steve of course, one of his "requests"), a new shower head.. my last one broke. I took it apart to clean it because there wasn't any water pressure and when I went to screw it back in the darn thing cracked in half... So now I have to shower in the basement washroom until I get this fixed...actually I can wait for Steve to do it :-)

5 days...

I don't feel like I have much to write. Life has been uneventfully and stress free with the occasional Ty meltdown. I'm feeling better today, I have no idea what cause my belly aches except for maybe I had to much dairy or it could also be hormonal. I had a pretty slow go at cleaning today I REALLY didn't feel like doing anything, but I kicked myself in the butt and got 'er done. After the cleaning was done I went to the grocery store to pick up a couple things to get through the week. I splurged and bought myself some shrimp. I ate 1/2 the ring and now I feel food drunk. I kept the other half to make something for supper with Tomorrow. I still have some laundry to fold *only 2 loads!!!!!!! I kept it up for the most part this week which felt pretty good.

The new alarm I bought went ahead 30 minutes???? I talked to my dad, he's an electrician and he suggested I bring it back and buy a new one :-) I explained this is #3. I guess I will wait and see if it continues to happen and will try to figure something out. I really have no clue, besides it being pretty freaky.

Tomorrow's I only have one daycare kid. I wish I had the day off, but I feel like I've been off quite often lately and don't want to take yet another day off with the baby. I'm going to be off as of Friday for 17 days :-) awwww I can't wait!!! I have so much to do to prepare for Tamaya's arrival and I would just love to get it done and just continue to sit and wait stress free with her room all cute and finished. Her toys out of the boxes and her clothes in the closet and dressers. I found the bed I want to buy her. I think I may pick it up on Friday before I pick Steve up. I think it will look really good.. I hope I like it when I see it in person at Ikea.

6 days...

It's been a nice lazy day. I had an afternoon snoozy because I was feeling off and when I got up I was still feeling off. My belly hurts after I eat, I hope it's just something I ate and will pass? AND NOT something I may have caught from a certain daycare baby!!!

Yesterday after I was done work I went to the mall with Ty. I bought my mom her birthday gift (I would say what, but my mom reads the blog ;-), I also bought myself a couple t-shirts and a pair of PJ bottoms.. YUP an addict. Ty and I went to the dollar store and he chose a dozen things for his good boy bin. My chart will be separated in 5 sections for the day and if he can earn at least 3 stickers for good behavior/helping out for 3 days straight he can earn a toy. I was going to start the program right away, but my girl friend reminded me that for the next couple weeks our schedule will be different with daddy coming home. I think once Steve goes back it will be a better time to start and a great time to encourage good behavior because I know he will have a hard time again with daddy leaving.

I'm going to go plop myself in front of the TV and watch some mind numbing shows.

8 days...

I had a great day today. The kids were all back to normal. They played nice, The baby wasn't sick, Ty listened. WOW I couldn't of asked for better. Come to think of it not even one time-out??? What more can I ask for! My house is even still tidy, I spent most of quiet time scrubbing, folding laundry and disinfecting the toys.

I think I may have a plan for my son. I will set in place a merit system. I have done them prior and although it was effective for the older kids Ty was really too young to care. Now that he is more "responsible" I am going to have a chart and he can earn stickers. Once he gets 10 he can chose a prize. I will make it very easy for him to earn and hopefully this will encourage him even more, plus encourage counting. He is a very good helper. He puts away the clean cutlery from the dishwasher, makes his bed, when I fold laundry his job is to put away his underwear and throw away the bounce sheets, he puts his dishes in the sick. Clears the table after dinner, helps me feed the dog. He pretends to sweep..lol.. well I guess he sweeps, it just doesn't pass the mommy standards!!! He even takes the swiffer duster, puts it in the toilet water and washes the windows :-) I will also add some extra space on the chart for good behavior and hopefully this will help us offset some of his meltdowns. *fingers crossed
After a week of him earning at least 3 per day I will offer him something extra special with mom. A movie at the theatre, getting a toy. I'm getting pretty excited about this and hopefully this will help him shape up.

Tomorrow's FRIDAY!!!!! and when I wake up it will only be a week left before my man comes home!!!

9 days...

Ok so it's official I am a looooooooser :-0 I have blinked and lost a day of waiting for Steve. Math was my strong subject??? What's a matter with me.. hahaha!

My afternoon was great (can you hear the sarcasm?) Once I got the baby up and fed him his snack he puked. I really hope it's not the flu man. Hopefully he is better by tomorrow poor fellow. I just wish I would of followed my gut feeling and asked his mom to keep him for the day so we could see. The problem with that is that I would of felt bad had I refused him yesterday morning, but of course that's why I have the rules in place at the interview and I make it very clear as to why I have to have it that way and they all agree. I may have sounded insensitive in my last post about sickness, but I get frustrated when I have a rule in place, they agreed to it when they signed up for "chez-Sue's home daycare" knowing full well my expectations of them. A couple days lost of him not coming means only his day pay gone... Assuming I get infected, it is 2-3 days without any pay, plus if Ty gets it I will not work, then if the other kids are sick as well the other kids families will abide by the policy and I will then loose their income.

My evening with Ty was nice though, I made a homemade vegetable soup with noodles and it was yummy. Nothing like a nice hot bowl of soup on a cold rainy day. After supper we went to the rec-room and I actually got to watch some TV while he played in the playroom. We had a few moments of an "almost" meltdown but he worked it out.

I'm going to head to bed, but I have to make the darn bed before I jump in... argh I hate when I forget the sheets in the dryer.
goodnight

10 days...

Hollllly Molllly, what a day!!!

My daycare kids aren't right and neither is Ty.. Is it a full moon out there??? Riley came to my house with a fever (and I have a sick kid policy.. NO SICK KIDS ALLOWED) he has literally slept most of the day except for when I woke him up for lunch which he barely ate. His mom thinks it's from his chicken pox vaccination from last week.. she better hope so! If I end up sick in bed with the flu again I'm going to cry and quit his family... so I hope for her sake she is right. I hadn't had the flu for over 10 years then I started my home daycare and parents would bring me their flu kids and I have now been in bed sick a few times and I'm not about to do that all over again, especially now that I'm flying solo. The bad side of me hope he is up all night for his parents.. just because!!! But I do hope he gets rested and gets better so it's a double edged sword.
My Jeremy has REALLY been reacting to his parents separation and it is understandable but he has been CRANKY!!! Hopefully now that he had a light nap he will be half decent.... and my Ty, my Ty, my Ty, my Ty. He has been less than desirable. He had managed to get him self in trouble again and is now in his room napping... So I'm hoping to have a better afternoon/evening.

I realised I haven't talk much about hubby. For all of those who are reading for some Steve info, he's doing good. He is bored and anxious to get home. I know being bored is not great for him, but it sure eases my mind knowing not much is happening over there. He has been calling every other day and able to e-mail daily so it helps us feel closer to him and miss him a little less. We don't have anything planned for while he is home except for his parents visit on the weekend after he gets home. It will be nice to have them up. I'm glad it worked out that they were able to come while Steve is on leave. I know it will mean a lot to them and of course Ty will be so happy to see his grandparents.

Oh remember my old glasses post? (CLICK HERE to view), well it happen again.. deja vue? This time Ty bent them out of shape and I tried fixing them. They worked for a couple days then I put them in my shirt pocket and washed them... So I had to pick up yet another pair of reading glasses.. thank goodness my new optometrist told me about being able to just buy cheap reading glasses. Had I still been paying 200+ bucks for glasses I would be peeved. I also splurged and bought a new clock apparently it hasn't auto fixed itself and was causing me to wake up early every morning except for the ones that I purposely set later thinking it would go back and it never did.. go figure. So now with this new alarm clock I *should* be walking up on time :-)

10 more days.. 10 more days.... 10 more days.. YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!!

11 days...

OH MAN!!! I had typed a longggg post this morning and I lost it. I had minimized it because I got busy and had to bring Ty to nursery school. went to get a few things in town and came home to my computer being shut off. My darn cat lays down on my laptop keyboard because he likes the heat and I assume he powered the computer off and it lost the darn post. (almost sounds like one of those the dog ate my homework deals..Hahaha.. and come to think of it that would have been a great one, "the cat powered off my computer.. can I have a extension?"

I got 2 invitation to get out tonight... I was invited to a stitch and grump. I think you need to knit..lol..and well I have in the past, but have no clue now. My girlfriend will have to show me before I go to a gathering, but I'm sure it would be a good pass-time. And was also invited to dinner and a movie. My girl friends and I went to see Saw III, when I we got to the theatre I realised there wasn't many choices and I am not a horror movie type person. I really prefer comedies and romances.. It wasn't really scary just VERY GORY and weird. I know Steve would of loved it.. it was a man flick.. a sick man flick..hahaha.

I also wanted to mention something that came to light when one of my readers made a supportive comment. I realised that most of my readers that don't get the "everyday life of Sue" may misinterpret some of my posts. So just to clarify; I have not been doing the countdown with Ty about daddy coming home. I really didn't want to cause him any extra stress. My plan is to either let him know on the way to the airport or once we get in tell him we are waiting for someone special and wait to see his reaction when he sees his daddy.

Also our problems with Ty and his meltdowns have been on-going for the past year and a half. I know you all get the high and lows of my life here on the blog because frankly that's the interesting stuff :-) but even when I am stress free these are daily occurrences, however, this was the 1st time I went into detail about what a hard moment with Ty was.

I am so tired..
good night!!!

My special son...

I have been struggling with Ty and his behavior for some time now. He initially was a very easy to parent child and our parenting was effective. A gentle "no, please don't touch that" was enough to get his attention and to stop. When Ty turn 2.. actually the day of his birthday no less. He started acting up, normal 2 year old behavior of pushing to see how far he could go. A time out did the trick and off he went.. When Ty was about 2.5 he decided to take this to another level. His time outs became tantrums/meltdown. He would have his "cry" and I of course would run to him to console him for attachment reasons. His behavior over the past year has escalated tremendously. He swears and tells me to fuck off, shut up, anytime he is being disciplined. He hits me. He trows things at me. He is very aggressive...He is so out of control it is honestly scary. I have tried a few techniques to lessen the meltdowns and thus far nothing has work to alter his behavior. He is very bold and tries to be in control of everything. I have had specialist in my home (like a super nanny)to observe where I can make changes and she just kept saying that I was doing good.."your a great mom and I can't even think of anything to suggest" she would say leaving me in a very confuse state :-( Ty was then evaluated by an attachment specialist and we were later told that *I* was doing exactly what they were looking for. After all this testing happened they suspect he has preverbal trauma and in order to meet with a Dr. specialising in early trauma we had to have him tested to make sure he is mentally at his age level.. well he passed that and I am hoping we can have some help dealing with him.
I know my son was neglected and I suspect most of our issues are of a hurting little boy.. I just wish I had the tools to make it all better.
Often when he is having a melt down I will sit in front of him and take him in my arms hold him tight and tell him that it doesn't matter what he does, or says that I will always love him and I will always be here for him. He then has a good cry and things seem to be better...
The last few days he has been especially difficult... I find these days exhausting. (My big reason for less blogging ;-)
Today for example I gave him a time-out after a warning, he then started telling me off... I told him that if he didn't stop he would be finishing the remainder of his time-out in his room because I will not be disrespected like that.. "oh ya, fuck off" he told me. I carried him into his room while he was kicking and screaming and told him that if he came out or played with the door he would get locked in. He of course open the door and slammed it twice. I locked the door and needed to hold it because of the force he was using. When he yanks the door like that it bust the hook and eye right off. He finally calmed down after 10+ minutes and I gave him and extra 3. I told him his timeout was done and that when he was ready he could come out. He yelled NO and a few minuted later came out and told me he didn't like it when I gave Riley (the daycare baby) hugs.. I was lost for words.. this was the first time he ever expressed any verbal emotions. I felt like we finally had a break through and that he finally able to verbally express what he was feeling. I explained to him that I understood that must be hard for him to see and although he may not like it that it is my "job" to take care of Riley that I do daycare.. and that part of my job is to give hugs to the daycare children when they need them... just like daddy is in Afghanistan helping other people. I told him that although I hug the daycare children that he is our son and he is extra special in our heart and that the other children were not our special family.. just mommy, daddy, Ty and Tamaya are our special family... and he was OK with that.
After he was up from his nap today he said that he thought he had lost me. I told him that I would be here for him forever and he screamed a YIPPPPEEEEE.. I hope that now that his vocabulary is coming that we can start working on ways to verbalise his feelings and help us get through this...

13 days...

I have been going through some emotional thinking and of course I feel like I don't quite understand a lot of things..

I have *trying* to analyze my son now for quite some time and trying to figure out which way to go when it comes to treatment/non treatment for him. He is an extremely difficult boy and I really don't want him labeled at such a young age and be on some kind of medication for behaviors that may be "normal" for him. I have touched on the fact his emotional health may be affected by the neglect and being in an orphanage setting.. I have also wondered about biology and how much of his heritage and birth family play a part of who my son truly is. I do not know either of his Haitian parents; does his controlling behaviors come from is Haitian mom or dad? How much of a child is learnt behavior and how much is biology? I may never know the answers to these tough questions, but I do in fact know that I will support my son and be here for him while he is experiencing these emotions and hardships. I will keep pretending to have much more patience than I truly have to get through the tough days and when he is in total meltdown mode with screaming, swearing, hitting and yelling I will continue to hold him and tell him that it doesn't matter what he does I will love him forever... because IN FACT I WILL..

14 days....

My mom mentioned I should let you all know (my blog readers) that the countdown is for Steve coming home. I did mention to her that most people knew it was for Steve, but just in case you are a new reader... or confused ;-) it is when my hubby will arrive on his leave for 17 days. Not for the arrival of the baby... there will be no countdown for the baby, I will know about a week before travel/escort when she will be ready.

Today was a PA day. NOT COOL!!! I had 2 of my big kids (my other one spent the day at his friends)... 8 and 11 yr old girls that I had to entertain, the 8 year old in particular was very demanding and expected most of my attention and wanted her needs met right away, I had to tell her on several occasion to have some patience and wait as I was busy and not able to tend to her wants immediately....and I thought the toddlers were bad ;-) We had a P.J. party day, I rented them a couple movies and got out the snacks and made junk food for lunch... mac and cheese and hot dogs :-) The girls seemed to enjoy it. The baby and toddler didn't really seem to care. They kept playing while the movie played. I decided to watch one of the movies this evening to give me something to do. Princess Diaries 2, it was so Disney and such a chick flick..lol. Steve too bad you missed it babe.. hahaha

Ty has a birthday party in the afternoon, my 1st drop and leave.. I'm really starting to like the independence of his age. I also noticed that now that my focus is no longer on getting Tamaya out of IBESR that I am getting scared of the homecoming. Well maybe not scare.. more just realising that it will be hard work and we will have many adjustments. I know Ty will most likely react to having to share mommy all the time and she of course will be missing the only home she has known and I will be back to having a toddler and not to mention sibling rivalry that is unfamiliar to me. I am looking forward to seeing what challenges may lie ahead and I am starting to mentally prepare. I think I may have been more afraid when Ty was about to come home because he was our first and I really didn't know what to expect, but now I see that it was the greatest thing ever, I'm sure I will feel the same way once she is home as well.

I'm going to plunk my keister in bed and watch TV.. a good brain numbing show would be ideal.

15 days left.. and the countdown is on

Today was a blah day, the kids gave me a hard time, Ty was late for preschool because him and Jeremy decided to have a water fight... Awwwhhhh I love my job, I love my job, I love my job..hahaha!!

I'm still not feeling right??? I hope this will pass soon, if not I guess I'm going to go see the Dr. I hate meds and doctors.. I always find its a waste of time they never know whats wrong, then it goes away.

The last three post were dedicated to Tamaya pics and video's. (a couple people mentioned not being able to view the clips, if you can't view them either let me know and I will try to re-post them differently)
I was so happy to see that the package with my CD was at the post office today. I could of hugged our post office lady today when she gave me the envelope. I tried most of the afternoon to find a way to view the pics... I finally was able to view them with youtube, but it took so much time to upload them.. then finally I loaded up a different viewer and it worked. There was a dozen or so different clips of around Marijke's place where my daughter is. It brings back so many memories of when I went to visit last January. Pictures are worth a thousand words, but the video clips really made me realise how much she had changed so much in the past year. She is a toddler now. Able to climb, explore, show her temper. Although Ty was just about a year when he came home he was so delayed that he was still a little baby in so many ways... he was more like an 7-8month old. Tamaya has been right on target, and sometimes even more advanced, this is very rare in Haiti. Both of my children have very strong personalities and I am anxious to see what type of adjustment we will have when she joins our family. I will expect the worst and play it by ear. When Ty came home I really expected our transition to be very difficult, but it was almost flawless... his issues came out later. I honestly hope that if she needs to morn and let it all out that she do it right from the beginning.

I have been reading a blog thoughts from Haiti and this story really hit hard. If you have a chance please take a look at this website. Last night instead of blogging I was reading the stories of the boys that have been saved. Haiti is of course in my heart for obvious reasons, but when I read the stories of these young boys I couldn't help but think of all the what if's of Ty's future had his mother chose any other option for him. I hope that some day I will be able to THANK her for the selfless act of placing her son for adoption and thanking her from the bottom of my heart for making our dreams of becoming parents a reality. If only she knew she has gave us the most beautiful gift that anyone could ever give and for this I will be forever grateful.

TAMAYA Haiti

Tamaya is again in the striped outfit. I don't know how to edit (thankfully the baby getting changed is hidden.. wait for it.. my daughter and Ty will make a great pair (she seems very strong willed and so is he.. What have I got myself into, double trouble?

tamaya

Tamaya is in the striped outfit.. being aggressive???