wow, what a day :-)

I finally feel like there may be help out there for Ty and I!!!!

The few professionals that I have spoke to are NOT in any way able or educated enough to give a firm answer as to what Ty is suffering from and this has been very frustrating for me as a parent. There is something off with Ty that everyone agrees to, but I have no way to effectively research or help if I don't know what the problem is. I have had "professionals" suggest that he may have ADHD, but I am not willing to entertain that thought unless he has been thoroughly evaluated by a PHD that specialises with children with ADD and ADHD... and then I would need a second opinion to back it up to continue with that theory. I have done some research on attachment disorders and most times the articles suggest that attachment and ADHD behaviors are very similar.

I strongly believe Ty's behavior has to do with trauma he has endured in his first year of life. An adoption friend, Patricia suggested a few places to start in regard to getting help in Ottawa and I have contacted those places and feel like I have some information to proceed with getting in touch with professionals in the field of international adoption and psychiatry. I still have to make some calls, to set up appointments and I will certainly rule them out quickly if I feel like I am barking up the wrong tree.

I had the development lady (she is educated in the area of fine and gross motor skills) here today and Ty had a meltdown while she was here... He was very tired and I knew it was a matter of time before he was going to loose it. I tried re-directing him. Suggesting he go lay down in my room to do quiet time. He pushed and pushed. I spoke to him and let him know that unless he was to listen and follow the rules that the next place he was going was his room for a nap. Of course he pushed and I brought him into his room. The whole way down he screamed, pinched kicked... Awwww I loved it. I don't know if she was in shock or what, but I guess she felt the "need" to try and fix it??? I was tired, exhausted and honestly didn't need a half ass, pretend, psychotherapist give me her 2 cents, but of course she felt she had to. Well I was very firm about the fact that this was the reason I needed to find out how to effectively parent him and that the last "super nanny" suggested I stay in his room with him, but all that resulted in is me being the punching bag and the victim of his abusive behavior so the last super nanny agreed I was right on staying away until the aggressive behavior was over. I did tell her that as soon as he was calm that I do go in his room, he knows that I am there and I talk to him through the door to assure him I am close. Once he has calmed down and I know it is safe to enter without being "abused" I hold him, I tell him I love him, we talk about the situation and I reassured him I will always be here for him.. which she witnessed... I explained how as an outsider she has not seen the steps we have been through to find this "temporary" parenting technique. I explained all the steps that we have gone through and holly molly.. I just wanted to tell her to mind her own business... but of course I didn't and was firm on my point of view about her "OPINION" (this is coming for a lady that brought information to me today on tourette's syndrome because Ty has 2 signs out of 20, but doesn't have the ticks??????? She has been trying to diagnose him. I think what happens is that all these professionals feel attached to our case because it is unique in this area and instead of admitting its over their head they continue to rack their brains and waste my time with their uneducated guesses...

Now on one hand I did get in touch with one of the ladies that my adoption social worker suggested. She doesn't have the qualifications we need, but she was the first professional to ask me how I was doing. How I was coping. She is also an adoptive mother of 2 and said as adoptive parents we tend to be harder on ourselves. We go through years of different means to try and form our family, to then choose adoption as a perfect way to form our family. Then we are accessed, poked and prodded to be "allowed" to adopt. She said it was very normal to feel guilty about not knowing the answers. I felt like this was the first "professional" that finally didn't judge me as a parent because she knew where I was coming from and acknowledged that this is indeed hard. WOW!!!

I guess it will be a game of lets wait and see, but I have a pretty good feeling we are going to get somewhere with all these resources.

Tonight I was helping Ty clean his room from the destruction from a couple days ago and as I was helping him fold clothes to put back in his dresser he looked at one of the shirt and says "oh no mom, you we can't put that one back I peed all over it" "What?" I asked confused. "I peed all over it with my penis mom" he said to me!!!! What do you do? I sniffed it, put it in the laundry pile and ignore the behavior... man oh man, he did in fact pee on it??? I guess can't punishing him for telling the truth...lol

I was going dye my hair and shave my legs..lol, but I guess the box of dye I thought I had? I don't have. And I figure I have lotttts of time to shower and shave in the morning..lol. The house is fresh and the only thing I have left to do is fold some laundry... I'm going to get to that as soon as I finish up here and watch a little TV. I wonder if I should leave it all in Steve's spot on the couch and he can do it when he gets home...hahaha.. just kidding.

One more sleep... well I guess if you can call it that. I don't know how much sleeping I will do tonight with the excitement of tomorrow!!!!!

3 blogs today??? I guess I am making up for lost days!