Monday, January 15, 2007

Wake me up...

from this gosh darn nightmare. Just when I thought I could breath and finally have my baby on route home I get some info.. for the love of God!!!! I have been feeling anxiety the last couple days and I don't know if it's my trip, or this latest development.. but I found out that the head commissioner's office has been broke in to and a fire was set... Holy Moly.. I couldn't help but nervously laugh about the whole situation.. AS IF..

I am done with worrying about when and how she will come home. I can't anymore. I am done! I don't want to care and I wish I could just quit. I want my calm life back.. I want my hubby here to hold me and my baby home where she belongs. I want to live stress free and enjoy my life again. I want to have all of my family under my roof.

The weather has been pretty snowy and a huge part of me wishes the flight would just be cancelled. I am even just contemplating cancelling it and going only when it's time to get her. I can't shake this "anxious and nervous" feeling and wondering if it's just a sign to stay back and not go?
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3 hours later.
I have cancelled my travels, and now feel calm and safe. Now I have a few people to contact and undo some of my reservations, as well as unpack and re-pack to go get Ty. I have to admit I needed to listen to my gut feeling on that one. It makes me sad that I won't see my baby girl, but what can you do when you are TOLD to stay back.
update on the break-in / fire. Apparently no adoption files were harmed and I am waiting for more news on this, but will keep you posted.

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