I have been addicted to my computer/e-mail/Haitian adoption chat groups/news on Afghanistan and Haiti. So much so that I have neglecting myself, my son and my responsibilities.
This adoption and Steve being away have gotten the best of me and I will no longer let my circumstances rule my life. I am choosing to trust that everything will fall into place. I am done. I have hit rock bottom and am making a decision that my life and happiness comes before everything else. I can not change my circumstances, but I can surely chose happiness and a stress free life. I am not going to let myself get sick with anxiety and worry. I am much smarter than that. I am actually surprised that I have not had an anxiety attack or hyperventilating, but I know my body is stressed... I feel it in my gut and my chest. I have been getting stress headaches and general malaise. I have to let go before I fall into a deep depression because I can either chose to go into more of a funk or I can chose happiness and a stress free life... I chose my life and my happiness!!!
My plan of action.
- Wake up between 7-8
- shower- get dressed in real clothes do my hair (I can no longer live in Jammies, except on Saturdays..lol)
- check e-mail (no more than an hour a day on the computer, once in the morning to check e-mail and in the evening once Ty is in bed and everything else is done I will allow myself an hour to blog, and read blogs... shut down the computer and put it away after I check in the morning so I am not tempted to just check real quick..lol)
- give the house a 20 - 60 minute once over, keep up on laundry!!!
- on days that Ty is in school I will go for a walk or gym and burn off some of those extra lbs I put on with the "stress" eating. I am afraid to weigh myself to see how much I actually gained since Steve left...
- on the days Ty is not in school do something special with him, go for a walk, sliding, play group, swimming?
- make healthier eating choices / get rid of the junk in the house (not a diet, but wiser decisions.)
- NOT LET MYSELF get overwhelmed with anything. Do one thing at a time and if I can't do it right away it IS OK... I am only one person!
I am so committed to this and will take it one day at a time. I will no longer be a prisoner to my situations I will rise above and put myself in a happy place again... I have to, I need to.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
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5 comments:
Hi Sue,
Here's another e-mail junk ;-)
I do understand what you mean. Keep the faith and trust and everything will fall into the right place. You only need to be patient! (that's what I tell myself everyday).
yvonne
And if you need a break from the country - come to TO for a visit!!
I know how hard the last few months are - I was going nuts then too.
Patricia
I knew my adoption friends would understand the obsession part of the adoption. The anticipation is just overwhelming. :-) Thanks ladies for understanding and helping me feel normal..lol
Sue
p.s. notice I am still on-line..lol.. I start tomorrow. I promise. ;-)
Hey Sue, good for you. I have a suggestion if I may... I went back to Weight Watchers, I've lost 20.5 pounds in 14 weeks, the support is great, or if you want to go to www.weightwatchers.ca and you can try it out there too. I tried it online but I needed to support every week. I"ve been doing awesome Good luck!!
Hey Melissa. WOW congrats and keep up the good work. I have always liked weight watchers and will look into their on-line program, it would work better until Steve came home, then I could join it here. (more on-line stuff, to funny)
Sue
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