Is it Friday yet...

This morning I found myself waking up too early.. even with the new clock I have a problem :-) The cause: the user. For some reason I set it wrong and with the big BRIIIINNNGGGGGG there was no turning back. Once I was up, I was up! I should be welcoming my kids any minute now, but have had the chance to shower, have a cup of coffee and read some of my daily blogs.

I miss my hubby, I received an e-mail this morning and he is so home sick. It seems like his time home was mostly a tease and a reminder of how much we mean to him. It's amazing how much his presence here is missed and honestly I don't think I've ever appreciated him as much as I did when he was here. It's so different with children and I have been so lucky to have such a wonderful hubby that shares all the household tasks as well as the parenting. Babe, I miss you and I can't wait till this tour is FINISHED so we can continue our lives together as a family... of 4.

My son has officially done a whole week without a meltdown. His meltdowns were daily.. sometimes even multiple meltdowns in a day. I figure it's a combination of things.

First, I have been dealing with him differently. Instead of barking, then putting him in a time out which would send him over the edge, I have been taking the time to calmly speak to him and briefly explain that what he did was wrong and not acceptable. Sometimes at that point he gets agitated because he is upset, but then I usually just hold him and reassure him that I love him until he is calm enough to talk too, then I explain. I also noticed he is not as tired as he used to be and seems to be sleeping through the night again and not napping.

I have also changed the location that Jeremy naps in order for Ty to have the basement to himself during quiet time. This way he can play, or watch some TV quietly and not only be stuck in my room. He is not getting bored and getting himself in trouble and "exploring".

The other thing that may have helped is the meltdown video I took. He watched it. It was clearly R rated with his bad language and throwing things at me, but he was amazed that it was him and kept saying it wasn't him it was another Ty. He even came to me the other day and said "maman, I haven't said a bad word". I then encouraged this good behavior and told him how proud I was of him.

It's amazing how I can see clearly now. Since Steve was home I realised I had almost forgotten what it was like to enjoy a quiet, peaceful day with no drama. My life had flashed by me and I didn't have time to simply see/think things clearly because of the hustle and bustle. I barely had any time to think profoundly. I am so happy I will finally have some time to enjoy being a mommy again... to enjoy those moments with him. Not to see him as a pain in my butt, but see him for the wonderful miracle he is to me. I had been so caught up with stress that I was merely just existing and on auto pilot. I finally get to be the stress free mommy and enjoy my son again. It was getting to the point that I would actually hold a grudge against him after his meltdowns and not be me, by forgiving and forgetting right away, because in a sense his time doing this took me away from doing other things that needed to be done. No wonder he was doing it... he needed my attention and for me to be with him. Parenting is the hardest possible "job" out there. I know I will never be the perfect parent, but at least I know I will not go down without a fight. I try my darnedest to be the best mommy for him... Now it's just to learn and grow from my mistakes and try better and harder the next time. I'm still bound to make more boo-boo's, but as long as I acknowledge them and can see where I am going wrong and change it, I will be a better person, wife and mother because of it. My family means the world to me and the least I can do is be mentally there for them.

Again thank you so so much Steve for letting me do this and being so supportive of me and my decision to drop the daycare. You are so wonderful and thank you for being you. Your love for us is truly amazing and we love you so so much too.