We're back...

This morning started off pretty grim, we we're trying to get Ty ready so we could leave and Ty decided he didn't want his papa to leave. "No papa, you can't go" he said and it saddened us both. Steve told him he had to leave, but he would be back. I looked at Steve and you could see that it was hard on him... to hear those words from his son. I kept myself from crying and tried to stay strong, but the lump was there.

We left around 9:30 (I was actually ready before I had too??? I'm usually always late and this frustrated my army man to no end, I guess I felt a need to impress him..hahaha) we took the scenic route through town, got a coffee... just had a nice quiet ride to the airport. We didn't talk much... just enjoyed being together as a family. We had lots of time to spare and I elected not to go shopping with Steve. I asked him if he wanted to have lunch in a family restaurant and he said he was to depressed to even think of eating.

When we arrived at the airport I convinced him to come have some lunch with us at a little fast food joint. We grabbed lunch, then went to the check in line. A couple of military guys we're waiting in line and told Steve it didn't open up for another 20 minutes. Instead of just sticking around waiting for the check in to open I asked him if he would prefer to just walk us to the van and we would both go our separate ways. He thought this was a good idea and off we went.

As I was walking to the vehicle I had a couple tears knowing I would have to wait another few months to be with him again. He said his good bye's to Ty.. gave him a big squeeze and told him to be good for his mom. He then put him in his car seat and it was our turn. I immediately started to cry. I told him to stay safe and to take care out there. We held each other as I sobbed and felt safe in the arms of my honey. We said goodbye and then as he was about to leave I asked him if he wanted to have a smoke with me before he left. He finished it quickly but I gathered enough strength to pull myself together before our next good-bye.
I got into the van and felt empty. It's was so hard to see him leave again.
Ty quickly changed my train of thought with his comedy and imagination. "when I'm big I'm going to go on a blue plane to work and Catherine is going to cry when I leave" (Catherine is our neighbour and she is the same age as him. I think he thinks she's going to be his wife..lol) I asked him if he wanted to go home to snuggle and watch a movie or go shopping. He said SHOPPING mommy.. :-)

We went to Michael's a craft type store. I was hoping to find a few gift ideas, but that didn't happen. I had a ginger bread cookie cutter in the cart and instead of going through the check-out with it I put it back. We then went next door to Ikea and Ty wanted to go into the playroom. I did some shopping all by myself. I checked out the laptop table that I was looking at but it looked pretty cheap and flimsy. The last thing I want is my computer to fall to the floor because of some plastic cheap table. I saw a nice trunk/toy box that would look great in Tamaya's room, but I decided to wait it out. I ended up spending a whole $14... I really didn't have it in me to shop... humm, I wonder why? I did however buy myself a wind up alarm clock...lol. My other one still has the same issues, but I really didn't care because I haven't had to use the darn alarm for almost 3 weeks.

We got to town and did a quick grocery. I was getting hungry and was about to stop to buy some sub's, but thought, instead of spending my money at subway, may as well go get some groceries and make subs when we get home. Of course they has no sub buns... so we had them on a hot dog bun instead and picked at a small tray of veggies... After supper I was putting the groceries away and noticed Steve had written me a little note on the fridge calendar " love you and Ty lots. xoxoxoxox have a great holiday" Of course this again made me cry...

When it was time for Ty to go to bed tonight I could tell he was going to give me a hard time. I knew he would probably lash out at me so I put my patience hat on and forgot about my issues and went into mommy mode. Of course as soon as I asked him to do anything he was very defiant. I convinced him to get his jammies on and he ran half way up the stairs because he didn't want to go to bed, he wanted to watch TV. I picked him up and held him close. I told him I knew it was hard, but I was here and I love him forever and always. He sobbed, he cried... we both cried. I held him close and reassured him that everything was going to be ok. He looked up at Steve's family picture and he said" mommy, daddy's not gone he's right there. I asked him if he wanted to kiss him good night and he thought that was a great idea. He kissed daddy's picture and said "mommy don't cry... it's going to be ok". My dear son is wiser than his years sometimes.
I'm off to bed, I have tears in my eyes again it's been a long and draining day. I wish I would have taken tomorrow off too.
Good night