Darn computers :-)

I spent most of my evening transferring pictures from one computer to the other so I can burn them to disk. Our desktops burner never did work right. Last time my desktop had a surge and I was afraid I had lost all of our precious digital pics, so I made it point to get it done at some point.. and I guess the choice was today. I realised how much things have changes with the advantage of digital cams. We take SO many stupid pictures that it took me 3 hrs just to go through them and delete the "nothing" pictures. I've also noticed a few funny pics that I will post!!! Steve may ask me to remove them because of course I am laughing at his expense. I honestly think most of these pictures capture the real Steve. The laughter in the house when he is home is constant.. You will also notice he LOVES experimenting with his facial hair when he is on leave; if you have a problem with obscene gestures I would recommend you look away. As you know, with digital cam once you snap the picture it takes a few seconds to actually take, well my honey ALWAYS takes this to his advantage to "ruin" the pic.. miss you babe!! It's just not the same here without you :-(

The cute little bunny..

Here is a picture of our "street" mascot. She has been known as; Hippidihop, snowball, Mrs. Bunny. She's been hanging out all summer. A lady up the road had found her on the side of the highway, brought her home, then she "ran away". I think the general consensus is that the neighbour will try and catch her before winter hits and bring her to the OSPCA? There was also talk about making her a shelter for the winter??? She seems to like hanging in my back yard.. Probably because my grass is so long, or maybe it's the carrots I occasionally feed her ;-)

A day in my shoes.

I thought I would write what I do on a daily basis; play by play, readers digest version...lol.. Of course I will spare you of some gory details!!!

5:40; hit snooze
6:13; Oh man I didn't have time to grab my shower, run out have a quick smoke before the kids get here
6:17; Riley shows up, I make my pot of coffee.
6:20; Jeremy and Briana show up.
6:21; I put Riley down for his 1st nap
6:30; make myself a cup of coffee, sit down, check e-mail, while also waiting for the next family to show up. Hope I have enough time to go to the washroom before the next family shows up...(I had time..lol)
6:45; they show up, the house gets a tad louder.
7:00; went down stairs with the kids; the older kids had a little argument on who was 1st on the computer; rock paper scissors solved that problem. Gave Jeremy a time-out for being silly.. He continued to act up. I scooped the litter; put a load in the washer.
7:30; Ty woke up; I think he was up again in the night, when I went down his bedroom light was on?
7:45; Gave Ty his breakfast. Called Jeremy upstairs because he playing with the doors downstairs, another time-out for him because he was being silly and refusing to come up, he talked back and screamed. (I'm thinking it will be a matter of minutes that he will wake Riley up with his LOUDNESS!!! )
8:00; I send a quick post to blog with pics of Ty as a baby, start writing Steve an e-mail.....Riley starts crying, then he stopped and went back to sleep (hmmmm.. I wonder why?) I make myself another cup of coffee (NEED CAFFEINE) I don't have time to finish Steve's e-mail, I minimize it until later.
8:10; go back down stairs with the kids with my coffee and tell them to BE QUIET.. They are being pretty loud
8:30; send the big kids to school... yipppeee now I only have 3 kids in the house instead of 6. Put my laundry in the dryer; put a load in the washer. Directed Ty to clean his room and did a quick once over with Jeremy & Ty with the daycare toys. Emptied the dishwasher, put the dirty dishes in it.
9:00; Got Riley up, changed his poopy butt. Plopped my bread in the toaster, cut up some honeydew melon for snack (in mini bite size pieces for Riley) got their drinks ready, sat down to feed them snack and eat my now cold toast, slice of melon and coffee that needs to go in the microwave it got cold (yum). Put their dishes in the dishwasher, clean up my honeydew mess, give the kitchen another quick once over. Wash up the kids.
9:30; thinking of what we can do for "craft time" ummm play-dough. Get the play-dough (even thought I know it will be a nice big mess when it’s all done.) Ty wants yellow to make a ski-doo like his papa's, Jeremy wants blue. (they argue about the play dough accessories, then work it out..lol) I give Riley white play dough and it's so cute to see him "trying" to play with it, and of course try to eat it... YUCK, with shivers is the expression on his face when he took a taste of the salty stuff then he throws his to the ground..lol I give him a toy airplane to keep him busy for a couple minutes.
9:45; now I'm thinking of what I'm going to make them for lunch??? The choices are salmon pie with a side of veg, fried bologna, with veg and mashed, or tortellini with a rose sauce???.
9:50; Ty's actually being good today, but of course Jeremy is the one with the attitude. Meanwhile Riley is getting bored and loud. His play-dough adventure is done??? The other 2 are still arguing about one certain play-dough toy that I have threatened to take away if they can't share.
10:00; Jeremy throws a play-dough thing at Ty.. Time out!!! Ugh, is it nap time yet??? My, how Jeremy is having a hard time with life today. I'm willing to bet that Mr. Jeremy went to bed too late last night. If I think of it I will ask daddy what time the booger went to bed at last night!!!
10:02; Time out is "technically done" but I think I'm going to leave him there for at least another minute... why? 'cause I can :-)
10:03; I ask Jeremy if he's ready to be a big boy and play with the play-dough properly? "yep" he replies. He starts arguing with Ty again the second he sits down. Lovely. Riley is whining again!.. Does anyone have an extra set of ear plugs.... anyone???
10:04; I need a smoke or Prozac!!!!
10:07; I still haven't gone for my smoke. I sneeze and Ty and Jeremy say "bless you Sue/Maman" too cute. OK I think it's safe again to run out for a butt.
10:13; I come back in the house. Step on Ty's little soldier (ouch.. son of a beehive that hurt) Give Riley some snuggles and tickle him. I love hearing laughter from children. Change his butt again.
10:20; Check the net for a craft to do tomorrow.
10:27; found something; Foliage Friends it's a really cool site you should check it out if you have little ones CLICK HERE.
10:30; just wondering if your still reading my blog or dizzy yet???...lol, put Jeremy in another time-out, this time he is placed in the bedroom. I had originally put him on the "magic carpet", but he kept screaming and yelling at me.. NOPE, bye, bye in the room he went.
10:45; starting my lunch, tortellini it is. Went and got the screaming boy out the room!!!
11:00; finish up lunch, let it cool. Get the kids to clean up the play-dough mess.
11:15; pass the vacuum real quick in Tamaya's room (the room Riley sleeps), open up the house I'm freaken sweaty... awww nice and cool. I sit down at the table and laugh with the kids. Ty kisses my feet and it tickles. I have no idea where he thought that up??? Get the kids plates and drinks ready. Cut Riley's food into mini pieces AGAIN..lol strip the kids to their bare bellies and put a body bib on Riley.
11:30; they sit to eat. It's a hit :-) they are all stuffing their mouths with it; within moments Jeremy is done and is having a plate of seconds. Riley finishes his first helping too... I cut him up so more mini pieces for his 2nds. Ty finishes his up and does not want more... he wants desert.
11:45: they are all done.. Riley decides he is done and feeds the dog.. MAN. I have only had 5 bites of my lunch because I'm too busy with requests..lol :-( I give them a cookie. Jeremy is too stuffed and tired and says no thank you to desert..lol, and is complaining he is cold (no shirt..lol) I gobble the rest of my lunch down, down a glass of water. Ty is helping put all the dirty dishes into the sink for me I clean up the kids, change their diapers and Riley had another leaker... man, I think he needs bigger diapers and the diapers are a new box mom just bought. I change his clothes; put him down for nap time. Change the channel for Ty, give him a kiss and hug.. Tell him to be good. I go down stairs to check on Jeremy and make sure he is in his is still in his nap spot, give his a hug, kiss and a g'night. I plop the dry load of clothes on the lazy boy chair for later. Put the wet stuff in the dryer... find a whistle in the washer and a Kleenex that was washed... got to love it!!!! Awww darn I forgot to brush teeth... Ooops.. Later!
12:00... Smoke time....AAAAwwwww I can breath, well for a few minutes..lol
12:30; since noon I've been busy; I've managed to do the lunch dishes, passed the vacuum on the main floor, gave my washroom a quick one over, washed my floors. I've made a jug of juice for snack time and have more to do. I was doing all this with a bad case of hiccups (prob from eating too fast..lol)As you may remember the other day I had a laundry problem and I had took care of most of it except for mine being put away 'cause I wanted to put my summer clothes away? Well, my laundry still isn't put away. I've decided to not put my summer clothes away, just put my laundry away so I don't have to look at the baskets in my room anymore.. Maybe next time :-)
1:15; all the laundry is put away...yipppeee. (Oh ya except the 2 load from this morning that still need attention..later.) I pump Ty's spider-man bed back up after I cleaned the plastic with product, Now I have to jump in the shower because I have to be out of here by 4:30, as soon as the kids leave, for Ty's dance classes. I still need to figure out something for a quick supper. Chicken pot pie maybe?
1:30, I check my chat groups to see if there is any news or signs of movement in Haiti. Check my mom's group... procrastinating :-).. I should be in the shower. Ty has a couple issues and I calm him back to finishing quiet time properly.
2:00; awwww I feel nice and refreshed from my quick shower :-) I'm "thinking" of closing up the house, it's getting quite chilly in here since I've stopped..lol I've sent out a couple e-mails, now I'm going to get back to writing Steve his e-mail!!! Do a little surfing... quiet time is just about over :-(
2:22 Riley Cry guy is up... quiet time is NOW officially over.. Almost like clockwork. I ran downstairs to get Jeremy up from his nap, changed him put him on the potty (intro to the potty) gave Ty some clothes to get dressed and then he started, he didn't want the clothes I gave him, he wanted his jeans. I refused to argue with him.. told him to get in his room for a time-out (he was also being very rude to Jeremy) and told him he was there for 3 minutes.. 3 minutes later, I go in his room and he had another nice big pee on the carpet, I put a pull-up on him and told him he had to take a nap. I brought Jeremy up stairs, went and got Riley changed and put them both at the table for Ritz, marble cheese and a glass of milk. I'm really disappointed; I had a plan and that went out the window. I was going to bring them out in the back forest to find some leaves for tomorrow’s craft.
3:00; plopped my supper in the oven (deep dish sirloin steak pie from Presidents choice) I like nice easy meals when I really don't feel like cooking... especially when we have to run out the house so early. It should be more than enough for supper tonight and lunch tomorrow for the kids. Jeremy is in a great mood now and laughing his head off.. We both are.. his new phrase.. "you so funny Sue" "I so funny", Riley is pretty giddy too, he is laughing up a storm. I clean up after snack.. Misty(our dog) sure will enjoy the snack Riley has left on the floor. A whole piece of cheese and a couple crackers..lol. She is eye balling them pretty intensely. I know the minute I move from my chair she will run to it.
3:15; I hear Ty and am contemplating going to get him and see if he is ready for going for a walk??? Maybe??? He is in better spirits he agrees to wear what I chose. We are actually going to get out of the house..lol. Now I'm off to get them all dressed for outside :-) I can't forget about my supper in the oven!!!! I'll turn it down a bit until I'm closer to home to keep an eye on it.
4:20; I just came in with the kids 2 of the kids. I went for my walk, I was going to go around the block and up the trail behind my house, when I realized it was close to my before and after school kid to arrive. I got the kids to pick some leaves up the road...lol.. oopsy. A neighbour asked me if I was able to be her back-up sitter. Of course, as long as I don't have Tamaya home yet. She needs me for a week in December, I honestly don't think Tamaya will be home by then. Then the kids played in the back yard and I picked up doggy doo-doo.. fun. My friend Stephanie up the road noticed I was dressed today..lol.. "yup, only because I have to go to dance with Ty" I hollered. She also mentions how good the kids are behaving; I tell her it's all just an act... tee hee
4:30; my last kids leave, I didn't forget to ask daddy what time Jeremy went to bed at, he said at 8.. I said ohhh.. I would have thought he was up half the night with the attitude he had on this morning. He says "oh ya, the back up sitter didn't think he still napped..lol... I knew there was something and it had to do with fatigue :-)
I get Ty at the table serve him his supper, I ran down stairs got him a new pair of pants. Fed the dog and now I'm just about to eat my supper too.... Ok so supper isn't that great don't love it..I'll eat it, but I'm sure it will be the last time.
4:45; we are out of here!!!
6:05; we get home, we we're late..man on the way there we were behind Mr. speed limit and I was honestly getting a little upset..lol. I pass a church sign and it said “being mad at the clock is like being mad at a bathroom scale”..It made me laugh.. I calmed down right after that. Since I have Ty I can never be on time anywhere. The dance teacher let us watch the last 2 minutes and Ty actually did what he was supposed to.. yipppeee, he did have my friends daughter as his assistant, but I was so proud that he actually followed direction. Yeah Ty. The dance teacher even made a comment about how good he was!!!
6:40; I got my dishes done, Ty bathed the afterbath (consisting of creaming his entire body, oiling his hair, brushing it, brushing his teeth... speaking of teeth, I forgot to do the daycare kids teeth today.. OOpsss, oh well, their parents can do it!!!,) floors swept (yes those darn floors again, I swear I'm not OCD, I have 3 pets and 5 daycare kids !!!) and I gave the tub a quick clean.....and now I'm ready to have some relax time!!! I will do some snuggling with Ty until 7:00 then it's off to bed for him.... I'm so tired, I bet I get my second wind as soon as he gets to bed...lol
7:30; Ty's in bed, I folded my 2 loads of laundry, put them away, have a load ready for the morning. Put my jammies on... went for a butt, put the dog out and now I'm going to check my e-mail...probably post this message and do "NOTHING" until bedtime... It's survivor night!!!! I have a little heartburn, probably from that darn supper.

* this a day in my shoes. It has been a good day at that :-) no major melt downs just "normal" kids, I kept my cool.. It was a stress free day, the days I really don't mind having!!! I really don't understand why I'm so dead at the end of the day though..LOL.. just kidding. I know I don't stop. When I do, it's because I'm usually out with the flu.

What I did for me today; gonna park my butt and watch survivor with a snack and pop

look at my pretty baby...

One of the ladies that is in charge of the orphanage that Ty was in is going through her computer to delete any "old" pictures she may have of the kids at home. I asked her if she found any to please send them our way. Here are a couple that she found!!!! My gosh I can't believe how much he has grown since then :-)

What a nice day

I woke up way to early, I set my alarm for 7 and was up at 6:30, I'm sure it was because I didn't want to miss my great day. I checked my e-mail and there was a card from my sister wishing me a happy birthday. It was so funny CLICK HERE to view. I got Steve's package ready to bring to the post office, took my shower and the phone rang long distance. I jump out of the shower soap and all, slipping and sliding all the way to the phone. It was my honey!!!! I asked him if he was still on camp "maybe" "well no Steve, it's a simple yes or no, I'm all soapy and dripping, if your on camp I will finish my shower it will take a minute max" I told him. "Yes go ahead" he says. I jump back in, it felt like it was taking forever to finish off, jump back out once I was all rinsed off and talked to my love. He was the 1st voice I heard this morning and it was honestly the best birthday present I could of asked for. I got off the phone with him and I had a little tears streaming down my cheek, I don't even know what kind of feeling I was having, it was a mix of sadness that he wasn't here, but also a tear of joy knowing he made sure to call before I left....It's days like today I truly miss him. It's not the 1st birthday he misses and I'm sure it won't be the last, but nothing feels better than having your spouse home to share in your special day... when he doesn't forget it that is (Right Steve...lol).. I will never let him off the hook for that one :-)
* a few years ago my dear hubby had a big ruck sack march 14-15 klm's, he came home exhausted hit the bed and awoke to ask me what was for supper, I told him in my sassy voice... I don't cook on this day. He looked at me like I had to heads. I kept giving him the cold shoulder and he asked me why I was so upset. I told him "once you figure it out you will know" all of a sudden the light bulb came on and he apologized profusely. We did got out for a nice dinner though, so technically he didn't miss the whole day.

Ty was pretty good this morning. He packed up his backpack and out we went to drop him off at my friends house for the day. I dropped off the package and off I went for my day of pampering.
I arrived just on time. I sat down and was called in immediately to my seat for my pedicure. I enjoyed every moment of the bubbling water hitting my feet. She scraped and sawed all the dead skin..lol.. They were BAD, I find summer is always the worst for my feet. It was really nice and relaxing. I chose not to talk to much and really just wanted to enjoy the treatment I was getting. Once that was done I sat in an other area and got my manicure done. She did a french manicure, it was ok. Nothing toooo great, but I guess they look better than they did when I went in.
Afterwards I went into the WAX ROOM.. jeezzz I HATE getting my eyebrows waxed. So I warned her I was a big baby, I said a few sue swears "son of a beeehive", jeeepers ect..lol

Then it was time for my nice relaxing massage. I enjoyed every moment of it. It was nice and gentle (not like the massacre I had in Ottawa) It wasn't the best I've ever had, but it was great. I was so relax and sad that it was over. I stayed on the table another 10 minutes after she was done just to get out of my daze, to stretch and to muster enough energy to get up and get dressed.

All in all I was happy with my treatments. I have been to another spa and enjoyed the atmosphere better. This place had younger staff, and the other places had 40ish ladies working and making it their duty to make you feel like you were the queen while you were there. I would go back, just really loved the other one's staff better. The only thing with the place in Ottawa was that the masseuse was not for me. He did it way to hard and I hurt for near a week after, It almost ruined the whole day for me..... teaches me right for not opening my big mouth and telling him. I thought to myself that maybe it will feel better after the massage...lol NOPE, that was definitely not the case.

I went and got Ty from my friends place and he was GREAT at her place.. go figure. He made his nice craft, he refuses to stay put at the table here for craft time. I am glad to hear he is able to behave though..lol
We came home had some snuggle time and both fell asleep for half an hour. I was going to go out for supper with Ty, but it got very cloudy and stormy, so I plopped a frozen pizza in the oven. At least I didn't have to really cook.
Now Ty's in bed, he peed on the carpet again (son of a beehive) and I'm going to give my house a quick once over and hit the hay so I can be nice and refreshed for the possey in the morning.

Thank you all for your nice b-day wishes :-)

Thank you mom & dad for the wonderful gift of my manicure and pedicure :-)

little vent session

WHAT A FLIPPEN DAY!!! As I said in my previous post Ty partied all night and I was stuck with my little mans attitude. I put him to bed, he fell fast asleep... then... he woke up just as I was putting the other children down for their nap. I told Ty to watch some TV because I needed a minute to breath. He was being really good and I thought to myself, “wow his nap really helped him out”. I gave Ty his lunch and just as he was finishing he started acting up...VERY LOUDLY and woke up Jeremy. They both were yelling at each other from different floors and then I heard dear Riley start to cry. I had the whole house up and it was nowhere near the end of quiet time. It was a whole hour before it was supposed to be done. When he has his little episodes, it total takes everything out of me. It drains me and just as I was trying to rejuvenate, it all started over again... Ty was in a time out because he decided to take candies and stick them everywhere on my bed while I was busy with Jeremy. (YES!! the clean bed I washed yesterday!!!)I peeled away the candy from my bed to put them in the garbage and Ty started having a melt down, hitting me, screaming. I put him in a time out because of course, this behavior is unacceptable. While he kept swearing, kicking and fighting... my girlfriend called. She heard the back ground noises. "OH no, not again Sue, just breath" she told me..lol. I explained to her what was going on and she says to me "well that's it; as soon as I'm done work I am coming to get him. Pack his p.j's and I will feed him supper, bath him and when your ready I will come bring him back to you” Well my gosh the tears just started flowing. She understood that I needed a BREAK and I did, I do... and I think that sometimes I feel too proud to ask. Maybe not too proud, I think of him as my sole responsibility and when I feel like I need a break I don't feel like it's justified. Ty looked up and seen I was crying and said "please don't cry mom". I was in no mood to entertain his cuteness, I told him to be quiet and to finish his time out. Once all was said and done and I knew I was going to have some time to rest and relax, I had a tad more energy to go with my day. I got the kids at the table for their afternoon snack got them ready to go outside and off we went for a nice walk in the crisp fall air. We walked up the road and I decided to take a trail into the forest that I figured leaded back to my house. We walked for a nice 20 minutes or so in the woods and found our way home. We got home and I decided to let the kids’ burn off some energy. Riley decided to play in some mud :-( but I was not going to let that ruin my good mood, then Ty started again. He started acting up with the kids, taking toys away, acting very silly. I had to give him a time out and I warned him if he didn't do his time-out properly he would be going in the house. He of course decided not to listen, yet again and I told him it was enough and that it was time to go in. He then decided to RUN from me. I had the 2 kids in the back yard, he ran 2 houses up by the time I finally caught him. I picked him up to hurry and run back to make sure the 2 were still ok. Plopped Ty in the house, brought the other 2 in and I honestly didn’t have any more fight in me. Just as I was trying to place Ty in the room Riley was getting into something. I had a moment of "I QUIT". I put the 2 younger kids at the table and gave them each a glass of water. I took a time out!!! I took a few deep breaths and told myself "it wouldn't be long, and I would have some time for me" not long after parents showed up to pick up their kids and then my friend came to get Ty. During my time off, I had a long list of things to do and as I was talking with my mom on the phone, I told her I would go and just rest on the couch. I was sitting on the couch and fell fast asleep within seconds. I must of slept for half an hour or so. I am sill SO TIRED.

Ty came home at 8:30, we had some nice snuggle time before he went to bed. He said he was sorry, I asked him if he was going to start listening and he said yes mom...lol. It amazes me that with all the stress the day caused I can honestly look at my son, love him so much and be willing to do it all over again tomorrow because he is worth it. He is worth all my time and energy. He teaches me everyday about patience, love and most of all devotion.

I'm heading to bed because I'm hoping I will be nice and refreshed for my nice spa day.... I can honestly say I've never felt like I needed it so much as I do now.

Is it Friday yet???

I don't want to be a mom or a childcare provide right at this moment. My son obviously pulled another all nighter and I am at a loss about what to do about this MAJOR problem. He came out of his room at 6:00 and was a little terror. He was very hyper, hitting the daycare kids. Just being plain annoying. I finally had enough and put him in his room... He then proceeded to "tell me off ".... I love it (in my very sarcastic voice) Withing no time he was fast asleep. It doesn't matter what I do to get him into a good sleep routine it hasn't worked. I have tried, eliminating his nap.. pushing him until he was dead tired, making sure he was exhausted by bringing him to the park to waste any extra energy, but he still wakes up after 3-4 hours and the problem with this is that he is a little devil when he is lacking his sleep
I have also put him down for a nap, and put him to bed at 8pm, he still does the same. He goes to bed falls asleep relatively soon, and yet he still wakes up ready to "party" in the middle of the night... some days he still pushes the limit and refuses to nap when he is obviously tired.

I really don't know what to do with this problem???? I guess the next step will have to be sleep testing to see if there is a problem we can solve???

Well I best be going the baby is now up and crying... lovely

and the laundry now seizes to exist....

My laundry is all folded, most of it is put away (I still haven't put mine away, my big plan is to put my summer stuff away before I add all my clothes to the closet.. maybe tonight???) I'm caught up on all my bills, my supper is in the oven. My house is still clean....wow, I feel like I'm doing pretty good :-)

I had a nice phone call late afternoon and it was a darn telemarketer. I nearly tripped as I was running for my phone in my WAY TOO BIG new jammie pants that I thought were the greatest (I thought flannel would shrink more than they did. I'm not exaggerating when I say they are at least a foot too long, at least they have a waist tie 'cause then I would be loosing em too.) So I answer the phone thinking it was probably Steve because it was ringing long distance but no..." Is this (***-***-****, our #)" she asks. "Yes" I say in a less than enthusiastic voice. She blurs on about how she's not selling anything they are just conducting a survey on radio stations, she was very polite and you can tell she was a mature lady, I guess I have a thing with respecting my elders and I couldn't bare to cut her off... jeezzz I figured I may as well go along.. besides they weren't selling anything.. right? She then proceeds to tell me they would be sending me this survey by mail and asked me how many adults we're currently living here. I told her "well right now, just one" "Ahhh you're like me"
"Oh mam, it's just 'cause my husband is serving overseas and.."she cuts me off and says to me"oh dear, well I thank him and I also thank you for being strong, it takes a very strong women to go through that. I don't know how you could do it... I will say a prayer for you she says" "Oh please don't say a prayer for me, please say a prayer for my husband and the other soldiers in Afghanistan, they are the ones that need it" I reply to her. "at church on Sunday we have a prayer group while the service is going on and I will ask everyone to pray for him" She says in her sweet voice." Oh OK then, well since your at it can you ask em all to pray for our daughter too. We are in the process of international adoption and she isn't home yet " I tell her as if I thought what she was praying for would all come true instantly or something :-)
I am Catholic, but haven't gone to church willingly in years. I don't know why, but anytime someone is a church goer and they say there going to pray I just get goose bumps and a calmish feeling inside. Maybe it's just knowing I am in someones thoughts that make it special.. I don't know and honestly I'm not going to analyze it tonight 'cause I'm exhausted :-)
I guess the point that I was getting to, was that she was a nice lady... and I think I may have surprised her with my unlimited prayer requests...lol

What I did for me today; I put Ty in his room for quiet time, it was obvious he needed a nap. It was so quiet, I took my magazine and actually sat and read in the family room for a while. I even took the time to listen to "nature" I had the front door open and I enjoyed the fresh air coming in and the noises of the neighbourhood

and the laundry pile keeps getting bigger...

I ran all day and feel like I will never see the end of my ever mounding laundry pile. I have now washed and dried a total of 7 BIG loads of laundry and they are waiting for folding. I will have another 3 tomorrow 'cause it's time to get the bedding done, yet again. I could be down in the rec room doing that instead of being here, but that would mean I wasn't a procrastinator and I am far from that!!!

Ty and I went to a kiddy birthday party. I think it was more of an adult get together than it was a kid party, but none the less we had a fun time. Afterward I ran to the grocery store did my groceries which desperately needed to be done, my intention was to pick up a full chicken for supper, they had 2 left, but they we're reserved :-( Instead I had a nice bowl of homemade soup and it was so yummy. It was a prefect chilly day for it too.

My honey called me today, he is on camp for a couple days . He actually put a letter in the mail for us :-) I'm looking forward to getting it. Everything is going well. He seems happy, he keeps busy by reading, playing cards. Steve's terribly frugal and has made a $10 monthly budget for cards/gambling. He has justified this by saying that if he were on camp he would be spending about that on coffee. Too funny.

My girl-friends rock :-)

I went to my friends house to do some scrap-booking. It took me forever to pack all my stuff and haul it over. I honestly didn't have any motivation to do any pages. I sat there and played around with my less than perfect layout for a couple hours. I only got 4 small pages done in the 7 hours...lol.. and they were nothing fancy. The snack were great and I think I spend more time eating than doing anything productive.

Earlier in the evening one of our girl friends showed up to give me some more clothes for Ty and we waited for another friend to come over. Once everyone arrived and the kids were in bed, out came the cake and the happy birthday song :-) Gosh, my reaction I'm sure was funny. I haven't exactly been in a "Birthday" mood. It still isn't for a few more days. My friends teen daughter walked into the kitchen with the cake. I looked at her.. Looked back at my pictures... Took another look at her.... Then it finally clicked. I'm not usually that slow, but I guess it really took me by surprise!!!!

I took the day off work on my birthday and have booked myself at a day spa for an 1 hr relaxing massage, manicure and pedicure... Oh yeah and a brow wax... but I don't really count that as fun time..lol My parents gift was the manicure and pedicure. My girl friend has added a gift certificate to the spa that I will put towards the rest of my lovely treatment... I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Right before we left to go I told Ty "I'm going to jump in the shower, then it will be your turn for your bath"
"Oh yes" he says. "Mom I want to jump, jump, jump in the shower too"(as he was hopping all over the place) I tried to explain to him that NO we do not jump in the tub that it was only an expression... try explaining "expression" to a 3 year old.. HA

Ty, Ty, Ty, Ty, TY????

Wasn't I saying nothing eventful happened with Ty yesterday????.. HA! Well it did today!!! :-)
Last night the sitter put him to bed and neglected to put the hook and eye on his door. MAN OH MAN. I never even thought to check it. (I'm thinking next time it will be something I will be doing!!!) I awoke at 3am to a snuggly Ty that came in to bed with mom and gave me a big hug. I noticed the lights were all on in the house, but stayed in bed and told him to close the door. Get in his spiderman bed that's next to our bed in our room and to go back to sleep it was the middle of the night. I though he stayed in the room???

I awoke to the TV in my room on, he watch cartoons all night??? Then I came in the kitchen..... It really reminded me of when we went through this last month. He pulled the chair to the food/snack cupboard and grabbed himself a few treats. Some Halloween candy that I bought for the Afghanistan package. He ate my cherry blossom (ok so I had on in there for way too long!!) but it was still mine for a "got to have moment" I also found a couple yogurt containers in the garbage. And now the booger is fast asleep. GOT TO LOVE EM!!!! I still haven't been brave enough to go check the basement for any more evidence.

I love my Fridays!!!!

Today was a nice day, I was in good spirits the children were good. I was folding a load of laundry when my friend Stephanie called to invite us over for a visit. She only lives a few houses away. I packed up the possey, went up the road to her house sporting my nice pink p.j. bottoms feeling pretty darn comfy. We had a coffee and she had sugar... yippppeee, (I neglected to pick some up last night and my first coffee this morning was awful.) The children enjoyed having a playdate and Stephanie and I enjoyed adult conversation for a change (Thanks Stephanie We will have to get together again soon!! p.s. Thanks for the extra sugar !!!)

The possey and I left and were just about home, when my girlfriend Manon's truck was pulling into my driveway. She says to me. Ohhhhhh good, everything's ok??? We hadn't talked all morning and she was worried about me. She had tried calling the house, tried calling the cell, even messaged me on my messenger...LOL, I called her my stalker... jeeezzz did we ever laughed. By the time I got back into the house the poor kids we're so hungry and exhausted. They gobbled up their lunch and off to sleep they went. By 3:30 as the children we're just waking their parents had all showed up, that was EASY to take. :-)

Tonight my friend and I did some shopping, I had a zellers gift card!!! I bought myself a pair of p.j. pants and a nice pair of wooly socks.... awwwww I love comfy jammie pants. Then we had to run to wal-mart 'cause zellers had nothing of what I was looking for. And wal-mart didn't have any either. :-( I was looking to buy boxes to send Steve his packages. I guess I'm going to have to go back to staples and get more there or pay the ridiculous price at the post office. Speaking of the post office, I stopped in to get my mail and my po Box was full.... of bills. :-( Not cool. I had my "catch up" budget taken care of and imagine.... the buggers keep sending more bills

Pics

ummm... I don't think it's working...??

Me and my bright ideas. I said I would do something for me daily. Yeah.... right!!! By the time my day is done I'm so flippen exhausted I sit there and think about what I could do for me, but I'm too tired to put it into action. :-) Just last night I was thinking of taking a hot soak. I walked into the washroom, looked at the tub and realised I had "forgot" to clean it after Ty's bath.... now my nice hot relaxing bath would have consisted of washing the tub, rinsing, putting water into it. So I just walked away..lol. I guess you could say I did something for me. I chose not to clean the bath :-) So now I will make a mini goal. I will continue to *try* and make time for me and when I actually do something for me I will post it.

How we came to adopt - Part 1

When Steve and I had decided to bring children into our lives we really had no idea the struggles we would endure.

We had conversations in the 1st year of our relationship about whether or not we wanted children, we both agreed that this was something we both wanted. We talked about the names we would call them. Steve chose Tyrone as his boy name. I told him there was NO WAY I would call our little white boy Tyrone. "Maybe Tyler" I would tell him. He was very adamant that this was going to be his son's name :-)

Once we officially started becoming serious about having children I had some fears. I knew my cycle was less than perfect and I had always feared not being able to have children. We tried with no success for a couple years before I went to see a doc for a diagnose. He almost immediately labeled my condition as being PCOS. I remember having to tell Steve that I was infertile. It hurt deep down inside. How would he still want to be with me??? He would certainly leave me, maybe not now, but later once he realised the importance of children. I told him for his own good I would leave him so he could eventually find someone he could have children with. Steve "my rock" was very serious and convinced that it didn't matter if we couldn't have children, he wanted to be with me. It didn't matter to him at all. I remember him saying that we we're already a family.... a family of two. (I love you babe) He loved me for me and supported me while I was hurting.
My life long dream of becoming a mommy was over. Until I was referred to a Gynecologist, he assured me with technology and a few treatments there was hope in conceiving children.... Maybe we could become parents???
So back to the drawing board we went. I started basic fertility treatments. I had to go on the birth control pill for 6 months... then get my hormones tested if the levels were right I had to take a pill here, ultrasounds to find eggs there. We did this basic treatment for a couple years... nothing worked and then we stepped it up another notch... instead of one pill.. 2, well my gosh. The pill made me so darn dizzy I couldn't see straight and I actually had to call my boss to bring me home from work because there was no way I could drive home in that condition. That was the end of fertility pills for me. I was done. So then my Dr. convinced me that I should have ovarian drilling done to induce ovulation. So under the knife I went. Came home in SO MUCH pain... and while I was in bed healing from this procedure I decided that enough was enough. I was done, done, done with anything to do with fertility treatments. I was not going to put myself through any more treatments or surgeries to have a child.
This is when we started talking about adoption. We touch on the subject briefly and started surfing the net for some info on adoption and where to start. We we're no where near financially able to pay for an adoption, but it was something we decided we would eventually do.

I was at work on day and talking with my co-worker. She asked me if Steve and I we're still thinking about adopting.."absolutely" I told her.. when the time is right that is the way we are going to form our family. She then asks me if I would be interested NOW??? She had a friend that knew of a Inuit lady placing her unborn child for adoption. "I have her number for you" she tells me. I picked up the phone and talked to mom to be. She was very interested in placing her baby with us, we talk in length about different things, I called an agency to see if this was even possible, called a lawyer that specialised in adoption. I so excited at the though of this happening. I got home from work and had a lengthy conversation with Steve about this. He wasn't as excited as I was. He wasn't "ready" to be a dad withing days. I was like a big ol' baby crying and reassessing my relationship with him... how dare he??? After I composed myself "a couple days later..lol" we talked about why not. We talked about the fact that we needed to be on the same page. This to me was an opportunity of a lifetime. He agreed to proceed with this child as long as the questions we had for his birth mom were what we wanted to hear. I was so HAPPY. I called the babies b-mom and asked her our millions questions. She then says "oh, I chose another family for the baby, I didn't think you we're still interested because you didn't call me back the next day" I told her that I would keep her in my prayers and I hoped that her and her baby would be ok" I told her thank you for her consideration and that I would always remember her.
I got off the phone held Steve tight and told him that I wasn't even upset. It wasn't meant to be, but one thing that was is that we we're on the same page about adoption. We had officially made the "we are going to adopt" choice. We immediately started researching adoption. Together we eliminated some countries, we looked at all of our options together. We called agencies in regard to what their best programs were. We looked at how we would finance an adoption. We made a "plan of when we would start" We both chose Haiti together. We fell in love with the children, culture, everything about Haiti appealed to us.

How we came to adopt Ty - Part 2

We had a "get out of debt" plan before proceeding with our 1st adoption. We had been making double and tripple payments on loans to get our debt out of the way before financing our adoption. We had about 6 months to go when I had the "feeling" it was a indescribable feeling that IT WAS TIME. I told Steve it's time. We need to start NOW. I told him if there was ever a time in my life that I felt urgency it was now. We needed to get the ball moving. I couldn't explain it, it was a gut feeling I will never forget. I pulled out our adoption book, in it was a detailed list of who to call when we started the process. I called our bank man, called the social worker to book appointments to start our home study , called the agency to let them know we had started and we we're ready to proceed. I remember telling Steve that if it wasn't meant to be things wouldn't fall into place. Everything was going so smoothly I was convinced it was meant to be. For months we gathered all the necessary paper work we needed. We met with our social worker many times to discuss our parenting plan. We had our reference letters in place and it was such an exciting time.
We completed our home-study and waited for it all to be approved. When we we're told by our social worker he recommended us to be approved it was amazing. We we're going to parents this time.. no more negative pregnancy test.. this was a POSITIVE!!!
Steve then told me he was leaving for Afghanistan ( his 1st afghan tour) I feared this would hinder our adoption, but he assured me it wouldn't. Our agency tried everything to make it possible to get our referral of our baby boy before he left, unfortunately, our baby's test hadn't all been received.
I was sitting at work looking for Haitian orphanages. I stumbled across a new one I had never seen... in the top right hand corner there was this baby. I remember thinking to myself that could be our baby? The baby was on "hold" for adoption and my boss came in I shut down the screen to never be able to find it again... until I found out which Orphanage had referred us our baby. We still hadn't received our referral and our agency refused to give us any info on the baby until he was "paper ready" I begged and finally got info on the orphanage he was at. I looked it up on the net and low and behold there was the site I couldn't find. There he was the baby boy I had stumbled across before. I was convinced at that point he was our baby boy. I knew he was ours. I called my mom and told her to check our her grandson.
We waited some more for the "official" proposal.
I was shopping at wal-mart when I got the call. I was in the baby section looking for baby stuff :-) I told my agency I would call them back in 40.. I was that far from home. It was the longest drive home that I've ever experienced. I booted up the computer, called my agency and waited for the pictures and info on our new son. I listen so carefully. "well Sue, your son's name is Mackenson" I screamed out.. "I KNEW IT" he is 4 months old, his birthday is April 13.. "Oh that's the same as my dad's I exclaimed" "He's healthy... and here comes some picture he says" Well my gosh... there he was right before my eyes my baby boy. He was more beautiful than I could of dreamed of, he was the most beautiful baby boy I had ever laid my eyes on.
We waited and waited... getting updates every other month on our baby. We we're just about finished the adoption. We had one more document before was officially ours and all the political problems in Haiti started. Every office in Haiti was closed. I sat in panic as my child was in a country that was having a civil war. I was assured that he was safe where they we're by the orphanage director.
Steve came home from his 6 month tour and our little Son Ty still wasn't home.
We waited together for the news of advancement. We placed airline tickets on hold for available flights we waited some more. His room was was ready for him, we were ready for him... but we still waited.
Finally we got the call that it was time. Our baby was ready to come home. The moment we had been waiting for was about to happen. It happened so fast that we needed to make alternate flight arrangements because we had missed our original plane. We drove to Ottawa right away, flew from Ottawa to Miami, Slept an hour, and got on our flight to Haiti... My eyes we're filled with tears the whole way down. I was going to hold my baby so soon. I was never going to have to wish and pray that I be blessed with children. We we're finally going to be parents after all those years of trying and longing.
We landed in Haiti got into the airport and rushed to see where our baby was (he was to be waiting for us there) We looked everywhere and finally found the man that was there to help us. He brought us to our baby...
Ty was sleeping in the arms of a nanni in the back seat of the pick up truck... He was taller then I expected. She handed him over to us.. he was still groggy from just waking up... He snuggled right into me, then looked up at me with a gorgeous little grin. I was filled with tears of joy looking at my baby boy. I will never forget the joy, the excitement and the awwwww of it all. He has blessed our lives, our dreams of becoming parents had come true. I am still amazed at how everything in life is for a reason. I now see why and how my infertility has blessed my life. At one time I thought it was the worst possible thing that could of happened to me... now I see how much a blessing it has been.

I love you my Ty. You are the light of my life and dream come true, you are the answer to so many prayers you are my miracle baby!

How we came to adopt Tamaya - Part 3

We had never really discussed becoming parents twice... our goal was to have a child. We never talked about how many we wanted. Steve doesn't like change, when life is good he doesn't want to change it, it doesn't need changing :-) When I approached the subject of bringing in another child into our family he wasn't there.... yet. He was quite content with our family and why change something that is good. He had a want list and if we were to adopt again his "ski-doo" would be put on hold.. lol.. men. One night we we're having a lengthy conversation about his wants and my wants.. I think he may have even had a couple drinks in him too :-) He says to me.. ok if you let me buy this certain ski-doo we will adopt again... Well I didn't need anymore convincing. I told him to go out and buy it NOW. He chose not to buy it, and then told me that meant we weren't going to adopt our baby girl... well I lost it, playing around with a maternal lady is not cool.. hahaha He did finally agree to start the process again. (and last year received his ski-doo of his dreams)
I called my adoption agency again and was told we we're no longer eligible to Haiti. We no longer met the eligibility to adopt from Haiti. I was so saddened to have to put Haiti out of my heart. I was determined to have both my children at least have something in common.. so we agreed it would be Africa... but we would have to wait because they has a waiting list for the African program. I put our name on this list and we we're to start 6 months later.
I found a Canadian chat group that was for parents adopting from Haiti. I posted a message saying that we had adopted from Haiti, but we're going to have to pursue our next adoption in Africa because we we're no longer eligible. I got a response from a "lady" (I will call her lady to protect her identity) She said that they will make some exceptions to the rules and to e-mail her directly to tell her our situation. She contacted her orphanage to be told that YES we would meet the criteria. The Haitian gov had just relaxed their rules yet again. I knew it wasn't quite the time yet to start and knew when it was I would know. I kept in contact with the lady and had told her about my plan to adopt a baby girl. She gave me some tips on how to make my adoption go a little more smoothly. She told me as soon as we started the process to contact her to put ourselves on the waiting list for a girl. (In Haitian adoptions it usually takes a bit longer for a girl)
A few months later I got the feeling again it was TIME, I contacted everyone I needed too. Got our appointment with our social worker for a couple months later July 8th 05 (this is when we would both be off and able to run around to paper chase). Steve came home from work and I told him it was time. I had my million reasons why it was time list :-) In his manly voice he gave me his "we'll see" usual comment.
As time approached to starting we both we're getting excited about adding another Haitian child to our lives. I placed our name on the waiting list and was told there was 4 girls ahead of us... I figured it would be so much more. Lady and I became great friends and she was equally excited for us. The day came when I got the e-mail saying we we're next. We weren't anywhere near being done with the Canadian side of things when we we're told we we're next on the waiting list. The lady told us if we rushed and got everything out we would be ok.

I get an other e-mail from lady and they had a baby girl. Actually they had 2 baby girls available. Which is very rare. I got information on both little girls and knew that my baby was one of them. I went to bed that night knowing by the morning when I was too see her picture I would know... I would know my baby girl. I went to sleep at 3am. Steve and I waited by the computer for "extra" info on the baby. I went to bed and I woke up 2 hrs later from my dream... my dream that I had been to Haiti to meet my baby. She had the biggest head of hair... the biggest fro I had ever seen on a baby. The nanny in my dream kept repeating over and over, here is your baby Chantaline. I woke up knowing my baby girl.
I ran to the computer to see if the pictures had arrived... there she was, my baby... the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. She had the biggest fro. It was 5 am... I couldn't even call anyone. I cried in silence as I looked at her.... and finally at 7am I woke Steve up and told him to get his butt up, we had her picture. (Steve's comment; I'm sleeping, besides I have the rest of my life to look at her..LOL... Men are so different than us ladies. :-)
I examined her birth date and no one had a birthday that day... But I knew there was something special about that day. It was a day after our wedding anniversary, but that wasn't it. I looked in my agenda and there it was. It was the day we had "officially" started her adoption. Her name was similar to her Haitian mom's Chantal... and my family my mom's name is Pauline, my sister is Lynn and my Godmother and middle name is Jacqueline.. talk about it being meant to be :-)
Here we are 15 months later... she is getting older by the day and we are still waiting. I can't wait until I have my baby girl home, safe in the arms of her family.
Thank you "lady" :-) you helped make our dreams come true and it has been appreciate.

debate in regard to our soldiers in Afghan

I belong to a mom's chat group. We are having a debate on if the soldiers should be pulled out or not. This was my 2cents and my opinion. I found it quite amusing. Just thought i would share my opinion with you.

*****
my dear Steve has corrected me; I stand corrected and have been told..LOL.
hey love, Your blog is wrong. It's not the UN that is here but NATO. You might want to get your facts straight. The UN was never in Afgan. For better terms we are called ISAF International Security Assistance force which is part of Nato.
*****

I believe this was NOT our war to fight, we should of stayed out right from the beginning..., but the UN got involved and we are part of the UN. We are there now and we must finish what we started despite the growing number of casualties. If Canada was to pull out now the soldiers would of died in vain. The Taliban would see it as they "won" the fight to take over their country and they would continue to make things difficult for most Afghan people.

Our soldiers are there for many reasons.. could you imagine living a life as a woman to be denied education, denied the opportunity to voice your opinion. (gosh I couldn't imagine that one..lol) Could you REALLY imagine living an oppressed life. What if this was happening in Canada, wouldn't want help?, wouldn't you want someone to come in and save the day. I know I would. These people are suffering at the hands of the Taliban. They need a stable government. They need outside help to do that.

The Taliban are a HUGE threat to Canada. I honestly prefer my husband and the military getting them over there, then having them attack here.

My husbands life is on the line daily. I support him 100%. I fear loosing him, I don't want to be a widow at 29. But I know that's where he wants to be. He wants to be there fighting and trying to bring a little bit of order to a country that needs it. I am willing and supporting him even though I also need him home. My dh is sacrificing even meeting his baby girl for the 1st time for his country. For us, for them.

My husband and all the soldier over there KNEW this wasn't even close to being a "peace keeping" mission. THEY ALL chose to be there and they all knew they may have to pay the ultimate sacrifice by choosing to be there. Before dh left we had a lengthy conversation of the "what if's" he did say that if he died in combat and for his country it would be the greatest way to go... They are dedicated, they are soldiers... they have trained for this for years and now they finally get to do what they signed up for.

Regardless of peoples opinions I do believe strongly that even if you don't believe in what they are fighting for and whether they should or shouldn't be there we should all be supporting them 100% They are our Canadian soldiers and they would give up there lives and their happiness for our country and for our freedom. I SUPPORT OUR TROOPS. Thank you for your sacrifice boys it hasn't gone unnoticed!!!

QUOTE from a lady from the chat group and my response.

What about all the other "women or children" in the world that are not getting help? We can't help every single trouble country. What about our own? It's not like we have NO issues in Canada. Why not redirect some of that money to helping some of us here.

My answer to her;
No we cannot help every hurting person or country in the world. We could however help some. It starts by helping some.

Now I don't know if you've ever been to a 3rd world country, but "our" problems are nothing compared to what they endure on a daily basis. We have the luxury to sweat the small stuff. In Canada you can help yourself. You CHOOSE to make bad choices and have consequence. That's the perks of freedom. Canada helps any person that needs help. example, we have a welfare system, we have EI, we have education for EVERYONE who chooses it. We have free heath care. We have food stamps, we have shelter for the homeless we have unlimited resources to help the unfortunate. C'mon you can't honestly be that naive, what more can we want?

"Our own" honestly We our one world... it doesn't matter where you come from we are all the same. We are all human we all deserve the best life has to offer.

I found this 'article very enlightening... maybe you will too!

Imagine doing the following, and you will see how daily life is for as many as a billion people in the world. Take out all the furniture in your home except for one table and a couple of chairs. Use blanket and pads for beds.Take away all of your clothing except for your oldest dress or suit, shirt or blouse. Leave only one pair of shoes.Empty the pantry and the refrigerator except for a small bag of flour, some sugar and salt, a few potatoes, some onions, and a dish of dried beans.Dismantle the bathroom, shut off the running water, and remove all the electrical wiring in your house.Take away the house itself and move the family into the toolshed.Move the nearest hospital or clinic ten miles away and put a midwife in charge instead of a doctor.Throw away your bankbooks, stock certificates, pension plans, and insurance policies. Leave the family a cash hoard of ten dollars.Give the head of the family a few acres to cultivate on which he can raise a few hundred dollars of cash crops, of which one third will go to the landlord and one tenth to the money lenders.

OH MY GOSH....

The kids we're playing well with their little food/dishes and I discovered the baby needed a diaper change, he was stinnnnkkkky. Instead of disturbing the kids and having them run upstairs with me, I chose to let them keep playing while I did the daunting task. Once I was done I went down stairs with the baby and found 2 children looking pretty guilty. I looked around to see if could find that they might have done.

- 1st clue, Jeremy's shirt was dirty.
- 2nd clue, Ty had a small cup in his hand from the play set.
- 3rd clue, my cup of coffee was empty.

Hummm ????? can you guess... YUP the buggers drank my coffee. It is now 1:30, they are both wired for sound and not looking like either of them are close to falling asleep. I wonder why??? Jeremy is usually fast asleep by noon.. man oh man oh man. I'm going to feel like an ass when I have to explain this one to his mommy.

update: It's now nearing 3:00 neither Ty nor Jeremy are sleeping... I really don't know what to do.. quiet time is technically over??? "Riley the cry guy" is up and I guess that means I'm not getting any adult time today :-(

this and that

My dear Steve ROCKS.. He sent me the cutest e-card. CLICK HERE to view. Only 2 more months to go before he's home on leave for a couple weeks :-) Gosh it seems like it will never come!!!

He sent a link for the pics they have of them there. I didn't see any of Steve, but that's his home CLICK HERE and I have the nerve to complain because I feel like we need a bigger house...lol.. No wonder he is happy with this one.. explains everything.. hahaha

Still no news about Tamaya, actually come to think of it, seems like I haven't received an update for a while either. I really want her to come home soon. Part of me knows she is ok where she is. She is getting good care so I'm not worried about that. I just want some news of some advancement.

My dear Ty.. man oh man. The boy, the boy, the boy drives me bonkers. I had one of those days today. I wish I could have stayed in bed with my covers draped over me and just had a "SILENT" day. Since Steve's been gone Ty has decided to act like he is no longer potty trained. The past few days instead of having the occasional accident in in his pants he decided to pull his pants down and pee in on the carpet ??????? So enough is enough. I tried to "ignore" his behavior the 1st few times he peed his pants thinking he was doing it for attention and regressing because of his papa leaving.. very valid reason for him to have a hard time, but once he started this peeing on the carpet I had to take drastic measures. I had threatened him with the baby diapers. I told him if he peed in his pants again I would put a diaper on him and he would no longer be a big boy he would be a baby. So this morning he pulls his pants down in the middle of the living room and decided he just going to pee there???? I just about had a heart attack when he did it. I immediately got a diaper, told him to go to his room and I would be there once the mess was cleaned to put on his diaper... he says to me "ok mom" I was expecting a fight. I get to his room he tell me "ok mom I'm a baby now poo poo caca"(his version of gaga goo goo) WHAT???? WHAT??? WHAT??? so I put the diaper on him and he crawls out of his room... acting like a baby. I asked him if he liked diapers and he said "yes mom I love em".
I will be grey and bald by the time I turn 30. I then tried to convince him it wasn't a great thing to be a baby and that being a big boys was so much better. So much for my well thought out plan seems like he "won" that one, even though I would never admit that to him. THANK GOODNESS FOR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and he is so lucky he's cute!!!

What I did for me today; This afternoon while the kids were having nap time I went in my back yard and snuggled on the wicker love seat with a nice big sweater... enjoyed the sun on me and the beautiful forest in our back yard changing to it's gorgeous fall colors. This evening I got myself, my girl friend and her hubby a coffee and went to their house for a little visit. Yipppeee adult conversation :-)
p.s. I had to do 2 things for me today because yesterday I forgot about myself :-(

How Sue met Steve...

As a teen, I spent most of my days being rebellious. I had my OWN opinions and made them known to everyone that "thought" they had any authority. I had fun with my friends driving around the city, listening to the "in" music blasted on the chevette stereo. We just had to find the next big party, smoked, drank. Didn't do anything that I thought was a waste of time, including school. I can't even count how many times I was kicked out, or dropped out of school. I ran away from home so many time. I had even made plans to run away and leave town, luckily my dear parents caught me. I dated some pretty messed up guys with no future and even moved in with one for about 6 months...living on beer, Kraft diner and cheap smokes.
My dear father has always said "Sue you didn't hang around with the bad crowd, you we're the bad crowd"..lol... (love ya dad). To say the least I put my dear parents through hell. Thank goodness for unconditional love :-)

This seemed to all change when I met my Steve. I was 17, he was 19. All my friends we're graduating and I refused to go to the prom alone (even though I wasn't even close to being a grad I had to at least celebrate with my friends that had) One of my friends, Chris had hooked me up with this guy. I wasn't attracted to him physically, but he was a nice guy.... so why not, at least I was going with someone. Well I get a call saying he caught the chicken pox!!! lol, in sheer panic I call another girl friend, Carole and tell her about my problem. She eventually says, "We have a friend Steve, he's a good guy, works & he even watched Days of our live (which is/was my soap opera)...let Clermon (her boyfriend) call him and see what we can do. I knew all of her boyfriend Clermon’s friends and refused to go with any of them, but I didn't "know" Steve...maybe he would be different? The next day Carole calls me and tells me she's on her way to get me. I had just jump out of the shower, put some cloths on barely brushing my long hair to jump in the car to be told he is at her house waiting to meet me.... what??? PANIC CITY. I get to her place and there he is; the most handsome person I had ever met. He was so hot, cute and yummy. The social butterfly that I am got quiet and couldn't do anything but blush and say a faint hello. I sat across from him; we couldn't look at each other. I would sneak a peak every time he would turn away (I think he was doing the same too) He didn't stay long, he left and his friend Clermon went down stairs with him. My friend Carole starting asking me a million questions.. being the cool chick I was I wasn't going to admit I thought he so hot, and THE ONE! I said in my cool ways.."He's alright, pretty cute… I guess" (maybe a coping mechanism just in case he wasn't into me?) So finally her boyfriend comes up and we we're all waiting for the scoop.... and what did he say???? "ya he'll go to prom with you, he thinks your cute" well that was it for me, I was literally like a school girl with my biggest crush ever. In some ways, I felt like he was too good for me. Why would a good guy date me?
In so many ways I am grateful for my love, he has really been a rock for me. Someone I have always admired. Once we got to talking he put things into perspective for me. I was so in love and he didn't want a "bad girl" he wanted a respectable person in his life. He would not be with a high school drop out, he told me to get my ass back in school and to smarten up, when I would disrespect my parents he told me to get a gripe and treat them right. I wanted to be good :-) not only for Steve, but it was really about time. Steve had dreams and goals in his life, he wanted someone with some aspirations too. He really helped me to see the potential I had. He motivated me and encouraged me to be the best I could be and with his love and commitment I have flourished into a women I am proud to be!!

*I am so thankful to my parents that stood by me during my rough times as a teen. I'm grateful for their unconditional love, their patience and their devotion to their children. I love you mom and dad Thank you!!!
*I’m happy the “other date” came down with the pox!
* Grateful for my friends Carole and Clermon to have thought of Steve as a potential date…
*Most of all I am grateful for being blessed with having the greatest man in the world as my husband, life partner and father of to our children. I can honestly say life would not be the same without him. I love you and miss you so much my love. Thank you for being the wonderful man you are. xoxoxox

Funny story

You know your getting old when...
At the beginning of summer I had decided to buy myself a new wardrobe. I brought my friend along to help me chose some nice outfits and to keep me company while I shopped. She chose "a funky" tank top for me to buy.
A month later... I was back home doing some camping with my family. My younger "cool" sister (she's just about 21) was there, I had my new "funky" tank top on. She says to me "Oh, you borrowed mom's ugly shirt" I guess my mom had bought the same shirt as me and my sister thought it was a bad choice...LOL.
p.s. Lynn I'm wearing the "ugly shirt" just for you today!!! Love ya sistah!

what a night

I ran all day; it started off with cleaning my house, I then fed Ty once he got home from his playdate, I jumped in the shower, shaved my monkey suit, did my make-up and hair. We got to the movie theatre and luckily the line-up had not started, I went straight to the concession and bought us a med pop corn and pop to share. I walked into the theatre and scanned the place to see if my friend I was meeting was there. The "park wives" we're all there, I stopped to chat with them and found my girl friend sitting in the next row. We got comfortable as we waited for the movie to start. Ty was actually well behaved. He had a couple moments of fatigue during the movie, but would get back into the movie within moments. I did have to firmly tell him "if you don't stop we are going home" and that seemed to get his attention.
After the movie we stopped at a kids clothing store. I scanned the place to find a nice new outfit for Ty. This place is expensive and has various name brands. I found the cutest little Tommy jeans and shirt for him. The girls stuff wasn't all that nice. nothing that I "had to have" for Tamaya. I overheard the lady telling another customer that they pay for used clothes. I asked her how that program works and they take in used and pay you half of what they will sell your used for. I placed the outfit on "hold" and will bring in Ty's gently used clothes to them. May as well get something out of the deal, instead of just giving away his clothes I paid a fortune for.
We then headed to the next town over and went for dinner. Ran into wal-mart to get some stuff to start my Halloween box to send over to Steve and his troop. Picked up a new pair of glasses :-) I can finally see again (reading glasses) Then I went over to my friends house for a little house party she was having. I don't usually drink. I can honestly say I haven't had a "buzz" for about 4 years now... well, my good friend was also there and gave me a drink. I said "nah, you know I don't drink", "just try it Sue! You'll like it" I have a little sip, and it was actually really good. I finished it up and already had a slight glow. The hostess was having a Caesar, and asked me if I would care for one. "sure" I said and everyone went silent as they we're in shock. "Sue, your going to have another?" "yeah, why not" I reply. Everyone was just a tad excited that Sue was drinking... friends eh! So I had a few more drinks, had a great time, laughing and making everyone else laugh at my expense. When I drink as with most people, things that come to mind come out... I had my friends in stitches with the comments I was making and I have to admit my quick responses where pretty funny. I really enjoyed myself, but I have a stinking headache today.

What I did for myself yesterday? I had a few drinks with great company!

yippee, yippee, yippee

I'm just a tad excited. My dear son is gone for a few hours to his friends house for a play date. I know I should be doing something productive instead of writing here, but I just had to share this great news :-)
My coffee seems so much better when I get to savor it, and my house cleaning will go so much smoother without little hands "trying" to help. I wonder how long it will take me to do it with no interruptions???

Later today I am bringing him out to the movies to see Barnyard. He is really excited about it, especially the fact that he will get to share some popcorn with mommy. He isn't a baby anymore, what a big boy he has become.. play dates and movies.. wow, I love this age, I can honestly say 3-4 is my fav. They are so inquisitive and so "innocent", you can actually have conversations with them that make sense (well most of the time they do) and interact with them on a different level.

Anywho I better get cracking... apparently the cleaning fairy forgot to stop here and now I have to do it :-)

I need to do for me list!!!!

I feel so refreshed and ready to "take on the world" I often forget about me. I am too busy taking care of everyone else needs and forget about my needs. I remember a time when a snuggle on the couch with a good book, hot chocolate & my fireplace glowing was part of my daily routine. I seem to have forgotten how I used to take care of my soul.. I'm making myself a "I NEED to do for me list", at least once a day I will take time to do something. To make sure I do it.. I will write it here, (what I did for me today!)... starting tomorrow..LOL

I NEED TO DO FOR ME LIST:

- a night with my girlfriends

- a walk in the forest

- shopping for something for ME!!!

- scrapbooking

- hot soak, w/candles and soft soothing music

- facial

- pedicure/manicure

- girlie movie with the lights dimmed

- spa day ( I have a good plan for this one)

- soothing music while doing nothing but breathing and enjoying it!

- a good book or audio book in the family room with the fireplace, hot cocoa, while wrapped up in my blanket, jammies & slippers :-)

- go to the river and just sit and watch it

- enjoy the scenery around me... the leaves are starting to change and my favorite season is fall

- get a sitter for an hour and do NOTHING

- a nice "romantic" diner all by myself

- have a snoozy

- take a "personal day" off work.. play hookey :-)

- sign up for a class of something

- draw, paint, be creative

What have you done for yourself today? I would love for you to share with me what you do for yourself, what do you love doing?

yesterday's blues

I was so grumpy and at my ends wit yesterday that I chose not to write anything, every time I went to write it seemed like I was some kind of mean, unkind person, hating the world... and the truth is, yesterday I did. I tried to compose myself many times, but I think the accumulation of all my feelings & responsibilities just got to me. THANK GOODNESS for girl friends that understand. After having a good vent to her, she whisked me away and we went to see a movie. The minute I jumped into her vehicle I felt immediate relief from the day. We got to laugh, of course at Steve expense :-) I love him so much, but sometimes I have to admit I feel it was wrong for him to go. He did have a choice not to go, because the fact we are adopting, but he chose to go... must be the "provider" in him. So my conclusion yesterday (not necessarily a well thought out conclusion , just one out of frustration)was that he was on a prolonged hunting trip with his buds.
He obviously did something to get me upset, when he was on camp, I asked him to send us a letter in the mail. He "CHOSE" not to. meanwhile I have been busting my hump to send him boxes & letters weekly to boost his moral. What about my moral??? What am I getting out of this deal. I don't get a title of "hero", I don't get a metal at the end of the tour. I don't get nothing at all.... except a house full of responsibilities, having to deal with my dear son that is less than perfect. And having to put on a fake smile and tell him I much I love and support him, even when I feel like my life is a disaster.... just to make sure he is happy. When he comes home I am booking myself a trip.. ALONE... just me, myself and I. I'll give him a week to have a taste of the life I had for 6 months. :-)

update; I talked to Steve and let him know I was down and feeling unappreciated. He did agree that he should write or tell me how much I mean to him. He does appreciate the commitment and sacrifices I have made for him, he just neglected to tell me...lol . He apologized for being selfish and not sending a letter. For some reason he didn't want me to take a vacation for me and be left alone with the kids.... he's WEAK....
So I take back "his hunting trip" comment and I am proud to announce he is officially out of the dog house...... for now :-)

He's not all bad :-)

I decided to bring the daycare kids and Ty to get a couple groceries for my baked beans I will attempt tomorrow.... silly, silly, silly me. I sometimes wonder where I get these great ideas. It's hard enough going anywhere with my Ty guy, let alone bring the rest of the possey!!!

*Please keep in mind that my girl friends cat just had kittens and our neighbors pregnant.. fuel to the fire!

We we're in the family limo (as Steve calls our van) Ty says to me "mom can you PLEASE put a baby in your belly for me?" what to tell a 3 year old with these types of questions???? logically I tell him the 1st thing that comes to mind "Ty I can't my belly is broken" "Ohhhhhhhhhhh" he says as I can see the wheels turning in his head. "Is daddy's belly broken too?" "well, Ty, men can't have babies." I tell him as I am thinking of a way to possibly end this conversation, "Mom I was in my Haitian mommy's belly?" yes Ty, and Tamaya was in her Haitian mommy's belly too, you we're brought to us by adoption.... conversation stopper; I crank the tunes and tell 'em all to shake their booties :-)

We get to the grocery store and I place the baby in the top, the toddler in the cart & I let Ty have his own little cart... he is the helper and I am hoping this plan of mine works. I get some tomato's, onions, then we pass the fresh flowers... my dear son grab a beautiful bouquet of flowers and says "mom, these are for you, they are so beautiful, just like you mom!" So I put them in cart!!!! The boy is a charmer!! Watch out ladies. The rest of the shopping went relatively well, he kept bumping into everything and wanted to race? So my beautiful flowers took some bumps..... but I am indeed enjoying them.

Later.....he lifts my shirt and in a raised voice I tell him " what are you doing?, get out of there" Mom I'm just kissing your broken belly"... Gosh, what a way to make me feel like a schmuck. So I gave him a big squeeze and told him how great he is... WHAT A KID!!!

Ty have you seen my glasses?

I had been looking for my glasses for about an hour, then decided to ask
my dear *SNEAK if he knew where they were. He says "oh yes mom, I know where they are" he comes in the kitchen with half of them??? I ask him "where's the other half?" "I'll get them for you mom" he says. He comes back into the kitchen with the other part of my spectacles. I say "Ty you broke my glasses, you are such a little sneak, I told you to stop being a sneak" The response I get from him....... "ohhhhhhh????" like he had no clue, ohhhhh, like he didn't know that was bad or wrong.. what do you mean Ohhhhh???... man oh man oh man oh man. Sweet revenge is GREAT, at least it felt REAL good, come to think of it... still feels GREAT. All week he asked me for a watch. I told him if he would be good I would get him one, yesterday went and bought him one and paid 99cents for it. B-BYE watch.. it was nice having around for the TIME being. (picture worth a thousand words)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I got a surprise e-mail from Steve this morning. Seems anything involved with getting correspondence from him is like getting a bouquet of roses from your sweetheart... just gives you a sweet feeling deep in your soul, a feeling of being loved and admired by the one you love so much.

They now have satellite Internet in the desert.... now that's the kind of tax dollars I like seeing being spent.... go government go!!! He will be able to check it every other day or so :-) It's so important for our guys to have communication with loved ones.. keeps their spirits high and informed about life here!

He didn't go into detail about why it took 10 hrs to get back, it was supposed to only be 1:30 to get there, but he write that "YES" something happened and thankfully everyone he was with is OK and still in good spirits. I do have an idea of what happened from a friend of ours still here and training to leave in Feb, and well, I just have to say thank you to the big guy up stairs for watching over my hubby and of course the other guys that we're with him.

I never thought in the years of being a military wife that I would ever see my hubby at war. (of course Canada would never call it what it is...WAR, I guess it could be worst they could be calling it peacekeeping) I had a nice conversation with my grandmother about war last week and it really helped me reflect and be grateful for technology.
I have"communication" to be grateful for. I couldn't imagine being a wife at home, not knowing where or when my husband would be home. Hoping I would get a letter in the mail. I am so grateful for Internet & sat phones which makes all this waiting a little less painful.

Those darn telemarketers....

I was just about to run out the house with the 3 kids and the phone rang. I answered it, hello.. HELLO!!! I was just about to hang up thinking it was one of those darn telemarketers always asking for Steve, and refusing to speak to me...I heard a faint little hello came from the other end, I couldn't make out who it was. Thinking it was still a telemarketer and just about too loose my patience and hang up, I hear Steve saying "babe", my whole demeanor changed and the first thing I asked him is if everything was OK... seems to always be my first question when he calls. He is back in the desert safe and sound... I was still hearing the guns bang in the back ground; it's beginning to sound very familiar to me, but of course I still had to ask if that's what I heard...silly me!!! I should just ignore it and pretend he is away at some beautiful resort... :-) It took him a 10 hr ride back to the "desert". He said they we're very busy on the way down. I don't dare ask why! and I figure it may just be an answer I don't want to hear.

Could be the soldier standing next to you....

I came to the realisation that the fallen soldier that was killed in the friendly fire was standing next to Steve when they we're doing roll call just before boarding the bus to leave for Afghanistan. I probably wouldn't of noticed him, but Ty was very intrigued by this soldier and kept pointing to him and yelling "look mom, there's a brown soldier". I gave him a quick smile in embarrassment because Ty was so excited about him.
Thank you for your sacrifice Mark Graham , thank you for being a roll model for my dear son that was excited to see a "brown" soldier.

Doing nothing....

Today I've managed to do nothing, for real... NOTHING. My dishes aren't done, my bed isn't done, my house is a complete disaster and I love it :-) I honestly can't remember a day that I was able to just rest, relax and do absolutely nothing. I had an afternoon snoozy, watched cartoons in bed with Ty most of the day... didn't cook.. well unless you count putting Chef Boyardee in the microwave. Ty was awesome and we enjoyed snuggling all day. We both really needed a day off!!! I'm even going to go to bed early... 'cause, well... I have a full day planned tomorrow and have a messy house to clean..lol

Adoption update.

Nothing is really happening here on the adoption front. There is speculation that a new director will be put into place (the guy that signs out our file "IBESR" ) we have been stuck in place for near 7 months. The change may be a good change, but could also bring on new delays. I've learned through my adoptions that I have to go in this with a "no expectation" approach, I was doing great until I was mislead into believing I was going to be signed out by the "director" himself. That brought on a whole new set of anxiety that I'm really not willing to entertain anymore. She will be home once she gets here, and until then I'm not going to get my knickers in a twist over something I cannot control.

Becoming a mommy has been one of the biggest struggles I've had in my life, between the years of infertility/fertility treatment and the adoption process it's been quite trying. I would always dream and fantasize about being a mom, holding, loving my children. Nothing ever prepared me for the truth, that nothing I could of imagined could describe the real love I would feel for them or the real feelings I would encounter. I still sit in awww and get tears if joy when I look at Ty. I have been blessed beyond belief, it's even better than anything I could have wished for or dreamed about. I am a mommy now and it was well worth the wait. I just have to remember the big picture, that she too will be home & once all is said and done, she will be here forever and I will get to spend the rest of my life being her mommy!!! I Love you Tamaya!

Ty with Mr. Brown

• Pictures of Ty with his "soldat brun" - brown soldier, he used to say "when I'm older and white, I'm going to be a soldier just like daddy" We had a few conversations about the fact that that wasn't going to happen..lol.. I bought him a white soldier & we dressed up his Mr. Brown in the combats. The other soldier had a mustache & looked quite pitiful :-)
  

Yippee, I got a long call from hubby!!!

My dear Steve got to call home, he is on camp for 24hrs. He was VERY happy to have been able to "eat real food, shower and have a Timmi's ice cap" awwww the life!!!
He actually told me he grew a stinkin' moustache again... boy, there is nothing I hate more on him then his caterpillar moustache. I told him at least I don't have to worry about any one being attracted to him with that thing on his face!!! :-)
We talked for near 30 mins. I gave him the address for this blog & realised all his "surprises" in the mail have now been revealed. Hahaha.. ooops. (by the way he loved reading it, which was a motivator to keep it going)
I got all the names of the guys/gals he is working directly with (10 on his gun) and will work on sending them each a little care package from Ty and I. I have decided the "theme" will be Halloween, by the time I get my butt in gear and get them out it should make it on time)I think if anything it will be a little moral booster that will be appreciated. Besides I need to make sure the ones watching my hubby's back are all happy :-)

I asked Steve if he has seen any spiders/reptiles and I guess there's a lot of mice, and gross HUGE bugs, he hasn't had a specific problem with any, but one of the guys in his troop had a mouse in his sleeping bag. I guess Steve got a good laugh about that when his friend jump out of it half naked screaming " I've got a spider... no a mouse in my bag" So of course being the quick witted gal that I am, his friend will be receiving a mouse trap in his "special" package. Steve of course thought this was a great idea.

I'm hoping he will be able to call again from camp because he has quite a few hours accumulated to call home since he hasn't been on camp using his phone card. I won't hold my breath, 'cause apparently he is at the mercy of the pilot as to when he will depart. I was pretty impressed when he told me he flew in to camp on a helicopter.... much safer then those darn roads. I was so impressed and happy about that news and said "well at least you won't have to be on those unsafe roads" then he proceeded to tell me he does travel them... so I'm just going to forget about that part of our conversation.

I am slowly going crazy!!!

So maybe my choice to bring in the 1 year old baby into the daycare wasn't such a great idea. Today was his 3rd day here and I am exhausted. He is going through some pretty MAJOR separation anxiety, refuses to nap and of course this brings on some pretty grumpy, whiny behavior. Today after trying everything to get him to sleep during quiet time, I brought him into the living room with me and he was fast asleep within seconds. Of course after 10 minutes of him sleeping I *TRIED* to put him down so I could get some things done and get a moment for myself.... well.... He woke up and kept crying. I will have to use the 'ol tough love on him to get him to follow my daycare routine because it is the only time during the day I have to regain energy and breath. His parents are wonderful and a great family to work with. I did have to worn his mom tonight that if he cannot adjust, or at least make headway within the next month I will have to let him go. I am pretty certain he will adjust within that time frame, but I had to be honest about my feelings.
Ty of course took this opportunity (the baby having mom's attention)to get himself into trouble and test some boundaries... poor Ty got a tongue lashing because mommy was on her last nerve, mind you he shaped up and was great all day :-)
So much for not taking in any other daycare kids until after Tamaya gets here. I had a phone call last night and my girl friends neighbour was desperate for childcare for before school. Her childcare provider decided to replace them with full time children and booted her out with no notice.. nice. So, of course I felt bad for her, and now I have a full house until Feb at which time her son will be old enough to babysit his sister. They are barely any work and actually keep my oldest daycare kid (10) occupied... Almost feels like free money..... but sure makes up for the baby

My daddy is a soldier

I stumbled upon this poem and am sending Steve a laminated copy with a picture of Ty on the back. The plan is that he can keep it in his pocket.
I miss him so much, the house is empty without him, his laughter and presence here is greatly missed. Some days seem to be easier than others. Some days I wonder when this is going to finally be over, but then I try and tell myself it's going to be over in the blink of an eye and it will all be a distant memory, but for now it is here, real and it sucks.

My daddy is a soldier
he’s often gone away
to some far off country
where he has to stay.
I really miss my daddy
and I’m not sure what he does
except he helps other people
who need him very much.
At night when I say my prayers
I ask to keep daddy safe
so that he can come home to us
and sit in his favourite place.
Some nights I can hear mommy cry
when she thinks I’m asleep
I know she misses daddy
and her sadness hurts real deep.
My daddy is a soldier
he’s often gone away
And I am so very proud of him
each and every day.
Come home to us daddy
When your job is done
I know that those people need you
But they aren’t the only ones.

No mom, I didn't touch the camera!!!

OK, so my son isn't a sneak... ya... right!!! I went into his room and the little "man" had my digital cam up on the top bunk. I guess the little sneak even knows how to use it.
Dad thought you may enjoy this!!!
It seems my dad gets sweet pleasure hearing/seeing "bad" stuff Ty has done, I'm starting to wonder if he's not laughing inside knowing it's me and not him ;-) Pay back ????