thinking days

The last couple days I've been taking a look into my life and trying to analyze where it needs changes. My father thinks these thoughts come from turning the big 30...lol Maybe, and very likely but also big thoughts on life and how I want to live it??? I guess considering Steve's in such a dangerous situation it made me realise that anyone I am close to can be gone in the blink of an eye. I don't want to wake up in 50 years and wonder what I did with my life, I want to be able to say I enjoyed watching cartoons with my children snuggling up, having basement picnics and enjoying the little things in life, I want to reflect on my life and feel like I lived it. I want to be the best possible mom I can be, I want my marriage to be successful and always cherish my dear Steve. I want to be the daughter my parents are proud to have raised. The friend that does a little something for my friends in need. I am the only one accountable for my actions. I am the only one that really knows me. I need to remember to take time to nurture my soul. I need to listen to my body, mind and soul!!! Live in the moment and enjoy.

My family and friend are the only ones that will be there in the end, and I want to live my life being the best person I can be and to really take the time to stop and enjoy it very so often. I find that stress to me comes in different forms. I am a person that doesn't realise I am stressed and just keeps on going until I blow a gasket... Can you believe that with all the things going on in my life (pretty obvious, stresses) I seem to forget about them and instead of acknowledging them I wonder why I am short tempered and get into a emotional funk.. kind of funny if you ask me. It was very easy for me to see the stress in front of me; but I didn't see the big picture. It was a accumulation of other things in my life that were the underlying stressors and once I saw them for what they were my attitude and mentality changed quite a bit. When I see what I am going through, both are extremely hard and quite stressful. Someone said to me " you have a lot of stresses, it's OK to be stressed" Yes indeed it sure is, but you know I can't change either situation and it's OK for me to have hard days, sad days and stressful days. It's OK for me to see both situations as stressors and in the end everything will be alright. I will have my hubby home and my daughter home and all this stress will be dissolved to nothing. I will have "normal" everyday regular kind of stress instead of being a HUGE mountain of emotions. It will be one thing I can put in the book of been there, done that and be a stronger person because of it!