Less than perfect mom... and today I'm OK with that!

What I've come to realise is this; I have always strived for "perfection" and I've noticed I have a real hard time forgiving myself when it seems life is slightly off the beaten path. I have a picture perfect idea in my head of what I should do/be as a mother. I had absolutely no problems being that mom when I had an easy to parent child. Now that he is more of a challenge and I feel like I shouldn't be getting upset, stressed or angry about his behaviors. I'm the adult right? The one that should be keeping it all together!! I know some days I can be more patient, some days I have more tolerance for certain behaviors...and those days I feel "great" I am the mother I strive to be. I am proud to say on those good days I feel like a great mother, but every once in a while I don't. I get frustrated, I get impatient & I certainly feel angry and I have a really hard time forgiving myself for being less than perfect, I feel I should have all the patience in the world for him, I feel I should never raise my voice, or be anything less than great. I may not be the perfect mother... but I know for certain my love for him certainly is perfect. That's what I have to remember. I do love him perfectly, I do try and be the best mom I can, I must work at a few things (when I'm frustrated) to keep cool, calm and collected. I must forgive myself, apologise to him (to lead by example), and move on knowing I am just doing the best I can.

Today I feel like I was a damn good mom. My dear Ty was tired this afternoon. We did a craft and when I told him that I needed to glue and that he had enough on his craft he went into tantrum mode. I took 2 seconds to react... instead of barking at him for pushing and shoving me and screaming to tell him to get into a time-out. I told myself to be calm, reminded myself that he was tired and to go in with a loving approach. I told him pushing & shoving was inappropriate behavior and for that he needed to have a time-out. As I walked away he told me to "f-off" I again took 10 deep breaths walk up to him, told him that talking like that to me hurt my feelings. He went to push me away... I grab him in my arms held him tight and told him it didn't matter what he did, that I would always love him.. and he went in to total melt down mode with uncontrollable sobs. I held him until he calmed down. I asked him if he was now ready to complete his time-out. He agreed. He did it perfectly and when all was said and done he came to say sorry and asked me if he could have some alone time in my room. Within minutes he was fast asleep and I felt like we had got somewhere with my patience and understanding.